Jacob

We were reading in Jacob tonight, about the parable of the olive vineyard. While reading his verses, Joe pauses to insert, "Wow, these vineyard dudes really cared about their trees, huh?" When he had finished his section, I asked him who the Lord of the vineyard in the story was. He said Jesus. I asked him who the trees were, and he didn't know. I told him that the allegory was about Israel and the Gentiles, but reminded him that we are supposed to apply the scriptures to ourselves. I reread to the children that some of us are planted in good soil, some of us are planted in poor soil. The Lord always knows the condition of the soil where we are planted. Those planted in good soil can still bear no fruit, or bear sour fruit. Those who are planted in soil can produce lots of fruit. Whether we produce a little or a lot of fruit depends on us!

I needed to hear this story today. Life is always full of trials, as well as full of blessings. Which am I going to concentrate on? Will my fruit be sweet or sour? I know the Lord provides everything I need.

Today was fast and testimony day. I felt the spirit so strongly today that I spent a large portion of the day crying. I wanted to bear my testimony, too, but I was so emotional, and I hesitated too long. I wanted to talk about Primary, and about how frequently the Lord communicates to my spirit about the needs of particular children. I wanted to testify of his love for each of them, and how strongly I have felt the spirit with the children as we give our lesson during sharing time. I feel so blessed by my calling, by the joy that singing in the choir brings me, and by the stewardship of priesthood leaders in our ward. I am so grateful.

Awesome talks today at the Singles Conference!

This morning we heard from President and Sister Gelwix at the Single Adult Conference, who both had amazing thoughts to offer all of us. I'll write up my thoughts on that later. But first: the Happiness Advantage!

This workshop is just what I needed to hear! We initially discussed comments people make: "I'll be so happy when I finish school!" Or, "When I get married, then I'll be happy!" Or, "When my kids are all grown up and married in the temple, then I'll be happy!" Or, "I'll be so happy when I make it to the celestial kingdom!"  Many people think that it is success or accomplishing a goal that will bring happiness, but scientists have found that it actually works the other way around. When people are happy, then good things happen!

We reviewed many scientific studies that demonstrate that happy people are more successful, healthier, and able to bounce back quicker after setbacks. (Many of which we have been covering in my psychology classes. Happy people also make more money, achieve more in their careers and have more success socially. (Sign me up, please. :-)) That being said, being happy is hard for some people. We ask, how can we be happy now?

He reminded us that finding happiness is not like flipping a switch...happy, not happy, happy, not happy. It's more of a continuum, and where we are on that continuum is up to us. People who have had traumatic events happen to them find that three months later or a year later, report that they are happy in their new lives. Are things different? Yes, but our happiness is not determined so much by external factors as it is by choosing to be happy wherever you are and whoever you are with.

We also discussed that science has demonstrated that our attitudes follow behavior (flashback to President Gelwix's talk this morning!). If we want to feel happy, we "act" happy....take action that reflects the attitude we want to have, and voila! A happier, more positive outlook!

Brother Fogg also gave us seven principles of happiness:
     1) You can train (or retrain) your brain to be happy. Remember, actions = attitude.
     2) Change your mindset to change your performance. In other words, look at happiness as a mental health exercise and actively seek happiness.
     3) Train yourself to capitalize on the possibilities within your challenges. God gives us challenges that help us build the qualities we need to be our best selves. He also puts people in our lives that bless us and help us.
    4) Knowledge is not enough for change. How many exercise articles have you read? Do you act on all that knowledge? No! The same is true for happiness. Action is required, and so is faith.
    5) You CAN control your own emotions. And remember, happiness is contagious! When others around you are being grumpy, bless them with a little happiness!
    6) Minimize the barriers to change! Find ways to help yourself be happier. Put things that reliably make you smile in your surroundings. Make time in your day to do something that makes you feel positive. Talk to someone who frequently lifts your spirits.
     7) Social support is one of the greatest assets we have. God's purpose for us is happiness, but we were never intended to be happy alone! There is a ripple effect to happiness. That's one of the reasons why we were commanded to meet each week at church. We are meant to help and bless each other. Hold on to those people in your life that make you happy. Invest in them and let them invest in you. Start now!

I'm so glad that I took the time to attend this workshop. I'll probably add more as I remember it!

The New Guy

Kelly took this great photo of the kitty who adopted us.
We call him "Mu." It's because he's black and white,
like a cow (get it? Moo?) and because that's
what he says when he meows.
He will officially become an "it" on Monday.

Uncle Ed

My Uncle Ed and Aunt Jeannette

As I mentioned before, my Uncle Ed passed away on Sunday. At this point, the best guess is that he had a heart attack. My love and prayers go out to my cousins who have lost their dad, and to my Aunt Jeannette who has been married to him for almost 56 years. 


Because my aunt and uncle lived so far away in Maine I felt like I never saw them often enough. They would come periodically to visit my grandparents, and I always felt so happy to have them around. My uncle always felt safe, and he had a nice laugh. I remember that my Uncle Ed and Aunt Jeannette came out to 29 Palms for my eighth grade graduation. We were shopping for clothing for that big event, and we decided to go through a drive through for lunch. It was so funny and sweet to me that he had no idea how to do the drive through ordering. All of us laughed as he kept apologizing and having to ask me questions about what to do. I still laugh at that funny experience today.


I know his family will greatly miss him. He was a hero to me because of his military service and his artistic skill. I really admired him!

Here's an excerpt from the obituary for my uncle:


Edward G. Poulin, 76 of China died unexpectedly Sunday, Mar. 4, 2012 at his residence.

He was born in Winslow, Nov. 11, 1935 the son of Edward and Gloria (Lessard) Poulin.

He received his B.S., Business Administration degree from the University of Maine in Orono and from the New Hampshire College in N.H.in 1976. 

He served 24 years in the U.S. Marine Corps obtaining the rank of Major. He served in the Korean Conflict and later in Vietnam from July 5, 1967 to July 14, 1968. He was a recipient of two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star. He also was stationed in Okinawa, Japan. He was a former Executive Director of the Waterville Chamber of Commerce and past-president of the United Way in Waterville. 

He was a member of Bourque-Lanigan American Legion Post 5 in Waterville and a member of the McCrillis-Rousseau Post 8835 VFW in Winslow.

He is survived by his wife, Jeannette (Vermette) Poulin of China; two sons, Edward G. Poulin, III of Riverside, CA. and Russell Phillip Poulin and wife Emily of So. China; two daughters, Donna Marie Trivisonno and husband Joseph of Chesterlyn, Ohio and Linda Jeannette Dowe of Augusta; two brothers, Larry Poulin and wife Maureen of Schenectady, N.Y. and David John Poulin of Oregon; nine grandchildren; and by many nieces and nephews.

Touching hearts

It was a mad rush to get to the podium to share testimonies today, which was heartening to see. So many people were eager to share their thoughts and their testimonies and it truly lifted my heart.

Two particular testimonies touched me today. Brother Boynton shared a moment in which he realized that his family is most important in this life. Seeing his love for his wife and his children gives me great hope. Also, Brother Musick shared that he had been praying for more charity in his heart toward others, and it really hit home with me. I have been praying similarly. To hear his story about meeting up with a homeless person and being granted a glimpse into her heart, seeing her as Christ saw her just touched me. I've been experiencing similar moments. His humility and kind spirit really moved something in me, and out of all of the testimonies that were shared today, his is the one I most remember.

Being in primary today was really nice. I got to hold some babies and smile and interact with some of our ward's sweet children. I love my calling! Not only is it a privilege to teach these young spirits, but I also feel loved because of their hugs and their eagerness to share their experiences with us each Sunday.

I'm so thankful to have my ward family. Today during the final hour, I was notified that my uncle (my Godfather from my youth) passed away at his home in Maine. He fell in the shower this afternoon and my aunt found him there after he had died. My dear cousins and my aunt had their world torn apart today. This and so many experiences this week have made me so grateful for my knowledge of the gospel.

Testing, Testing, 1-2-3

I had my first cognition test today. Our entire grade rests upon three test grades, and today was the first. I studied hard, felt comfortable that I knew what I knew, and went to sleep last night. During the night, I dreamed that I went to the test, fell asleep early in the hour, and woke up with the teacher saying, "You have five minutes left." I looked down at my paper and it was completely blank.

I freaked.

This morning, I skipped the Bishop's storehouse and stayed home to study more. This teacher is absolutely brilliant, but he's about as easy to follow as a firefly on meth, and I just knew his test was going to be hard.  I recalled his conversation last week with the class, in which he stated that you could fail the first test and walk away from the class with a B or a C (if you mended your ways and scored A's on the last two tests). I don't want a B or a C, I want an A.

He gave no study guide. He rarely if ever follows the book (which, by the way, is very good).  I kept great notes during class...or did I? Panic began to set in.

The kids were home today from school, so my morning was frequented by interruptions and demands. Just before I left, Kelly was very upset and insisted that she was going with her friend to the mall whether I wanted her to or not, and I threatened to ground her until she was 18 if she did so. Needless to say, I was in a very unstable frame of mind, and I left late. I arrived in my class ten minutes early, but  someone had taken "my" seat. (I always sit in the front so I'm not distracted by others, among other reasons.) I had to sit near the back of the room.

The test was precisely as hard as I predicted it would be. I went slowly and carefully analyzed out my answers. I marked all the questions I felt I got correct, as well as those I had no idea about. In the end, if I missed all the questions I thought I might be wrong on, and didn't miss any of the ones I thought I got right, then I might get a B on the test. He grades on a curve, but all it takes is one person to blow that curve. (sigh) I know I did my best...I just hope it's good enough!

Fare Thee Well

My friends Scott and Saundra are leaving on a new adventure! Saundra received a promotion and will be beginning her new career in Salt Lake area. Tonight there was a going away party for them, and there were lots of people there to wish them a fond farewell.

I'm so proud of her. I know how hard she has worked. In many ways, she has been a role model for me. Her tenacity in finishing her education helped to inspire me to take the leap myself. I have watched her grow from her early days in the church into an even better person than she already was. And when I was in the midst of turmoil in my private life, I attended the temple once a week at 5:30 in the morning, and nearly every week, she would be there, too. I came to count on her presence, her smile and her hug.

My kids have loved them like part of our family. We have been over to their house for family home evening on several occasions, where we've listened to music, eaten delicious food, and on more than one occasion, we've had root beer floats. Scott ordained Joe to the priesthood.  They've cheered on my children and spoken words of encouragement and positivity. They've gone out of their way to fix ties, compliment a new suit, and tell my girls that they are beautiful. When our family has needed help urgently, Scott was always among the first to show up, tools in hand and dragging a few volunteers.

I have watched these two struggle through health challenges and personal trials with grace and tremendous faith. I have seen them reach out to help others, to love them, and to inspire them. In fact, when I think of Christlike service, I think of these two fine friends. They are anchors for me in my life, and I will miss their personal influence and their hugs greatly.

Electric Blanket Club

Since our heater is broken again, the kids all drug out their electric blankets. (The only one without an electric blanket is me.) This is nice for me because it's the one time when the kids voluntarily and without being asked (or tickle-tortured) will make their own beds, all nice and snuggly for the winter time. They brought me their sheets and comforters and asked me to wash them. Yes, even the boys...without being asked. Then they reassembled everything in a nice, orderly and appealing manner.

They've threatened to spend all day Sunday under their electric blankies. Do you think I could get that in writing?

Being Alone

I was talking with someone once about my desire to find a companion. Her comment to me was that I should accept that I may never marry again in this life. Way to encourage a girl, huh?

When I first separated from my husband, I thought I would never remarry. Too much work. Too much trouble. I've got a track record of choosing people that are mean, whether they intend to be or not. I couldn't imagine dating. At that point in my life, I was barely holding myself together enough to manage my children and I.

In fact, one of my acquaintances in the church heard that I was getting divorced, and she told me that I shouldn't go through with it. I had never discussed my situation with her, and I don't know what she thought she knew about it, but I was curious enough to ask her why she thought I shouldn't. She told me that I wouldn't have anyone to care for me when the children were gone. Without even thinking about it, I told her that my faith was enough, my relationship with God was enough, and I didn't need to stay married or get remarried in order to be happy.

I am happy to report that I was right - and wrong. It is true that our relationship with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ strengthens us and sustains us, through trials, temptations, loneliness, despair. It is true that we can be happy if we are doing the right things, with or without a companion. In fact, if our relationship with God is amiss, then all of our other relationships are in jeopardy, so creating a strong relationship with Him is essential.

However, I was also wrong. My bishop at the time discussed with me what my plan was for my life. He encouraged me to stay strong in the faith, to date, fall in love and marry at the appropriate time. I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn't think I could do that, didn't want to do that and maybe didn't even need to do that, that my relationship with God was enough. He always had his scriptures ready, this wonderful man. He whipped them out, opened them up and had me read from Genesis 2, and in Moses, and in Abraham. All three said the same thing...essentially God had created men and women to be together, that it wasn't "good that man should be alone." He advised me to think about the proclamation on the family, about what I knew from the temple, and to put all of this together in my heart. He encouraged me to pray about it and think about the example I was setting for my children.

Even years after this conversation, I felt conflicted. I thought perhaps that my loneliness and desire to be with a companion might be stemming from a lack of faith. I finally told told God that I was lonely, and he said, "Duh, you idiot! You're sitting at home alone or with your kids. Are you expecting me to send someone to your door?" Okay, okay. He didn't really say that, that's just my interpretation. In other words, he was telling me to do what I could to create opportunities where he could  bring people into my life. Once I overcame this hurdle and started actively seeking friendships and relationships with others, I still frequently got (and still get) confronted with the realities of dating at my age. Most of the men I have talked to who are my age are looking for younger, blonde, beautiful, skinny women with no baggage.

Um, yeah...good luck with that.

I own a mirror. A big one. And even though I try to avoid looking into it as much as possible, I know I'm not particularly young anymore, or beautiful, or skinny. As for baggage...well, if you're a reader of my blog you know!

Nevertheless, I decided to take God at his word...attend some functions, accept any and all reasonable invitations, and not set limits on who God might have in store for me. I am not particularly brave either, but I have a friend who had been encouraging me to attend some single adult activities for our church, and I had been resisting. I finally told him I would go to some activities, and I discovered, after the initial terror had passed, that it was a great place to make friends and find others who are going through some of the same struggles that I have been. Most of the people who attend are women, but there are a few men. I've even been asked out a few times, by older men. (I tend to prefer older guys anyway.)

I've asked a few men out, too. Most of the time, I get rejected. In fact, people trying to publish books probably get fewer rejections than me. It's easy to believe I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough for anyone to take an interest in. I've been on the verge of giving up several times and just staying at home watching Netflix videos until my brains fall out.

However, I am trying my best to believe that God's promises are sure, even for me. I am trying to live my life in a way that qualifies me to receive those blessings. I will obey and keep my heart open to whatever his plan might be. It's surprising how much courage it takes to keep it up.

I Promise....Forever!

Erin and Nick after the sealing. They look so happy together!

Here's the happy location of Erin & Nick's sealing...the Sacramento Temple!

This was such a wonderful weekend. Well, with one exception...we couldn't locate my purse before our departure. But once we were on our way to Davis, life was good. We drove up to visit Erin and Nick. we got into town about 8:30, picked up Nick from work and went for a late dinner at Wing Stop. It was so much fun!

Saturday morning we were up bright and early, getting ready for a big day at the temple. At 9 a.m. we drove to the Sacramento temple, and deposited the kids at a nearby chapel and then went in for the big event. Erin and Nick were sealed for time and eternity at about 11:20 in the morning. It was so beautiful! I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. I felt so blessed to be there. I have loved her since she was four years old, and it was so deeply moving to see her take this step in her life, and to see the progress she and Nick have made in the gospel. I was touched by all the support they received from their ward. Afterward, they were greeted outside the temple by all the kids and by Erin's dad and his wife (and their dog Indy). We went over to the home of a dear friend of Erin's for a reception, and had delicious food and a great time.

Later that afternoon, back at their apartment, several people slept, I worked on homework, and the children played with Widget and Gracie or played on their electronic devices. We went out for pizza in the evening and really enjoyed the food and the fun. We headed back to Fresno later than I expected (about 9) and I was really tired on the way home. We were grateful for the prayers of safety before we left. Everyone except Kelly and I slept on the way home.

I am so grateful to see Erin and Nick receive the blessings of the temple. It makes my heart so happy!

Making Pumpkin Muffins

Johnny informed me that he needs a large can for something at his school this week. An empty can, to be precise. By tomorrow morning, to be even more precise. So in rummaging in our cabinets, I've discovered I have two options: Enchilada Sauce, or canned pumpkin.

And while enchiladas are one of life's best pleasures, I've decided to make pumpkin muffins, in honor of the fall that I wish were here already. I'm anxious for the senescence that brings with it crimson, yellow, purple and red. Great big leaf piles perfect for watching my kids jump into (while they're still young enough to want to!). Beautiful dynamic skies with clouds that visit just long enough to remind us that summer has left the building. The occasional camping trip that breaks up the monotony of school days. The beauty of a season that continues to shout in the perfect symphony of color that God is real and that he loves us. I'm longing for the smell of chili, soups and stews and that special scent that comes with autumn. Perfect temperatures...no longer hot enough to bake apple pies on my patio, and just enough cool to require the occasional sweatshirt and socks.

Yes, if I bake some muffins, I might just survive until fall.

Another Year of Fun Ahead!

This school year began with a bang! Kelly began 11th grade, and has decided all on her own to focus on her schoolwork because she wants to get her learner's permit (yikes!) and I told her she had to have a B average at the end of the first semester in order to do so, then maintain a B average to keep it. She's still learning piano, attending seminary, and participating in the Young Women's program at church.

Joe just began 9th grade at Bullard High this year. He really wants to graduate from high school a year early so he's hit the ground running and is working hard to keep his grades at straight "A" levels. His STAR test last year showed that he scored advanced in everything, and he earned a perfect score in science. That's not too surprising given how much he loves science.

Laine is in 7th grade this year, still at Bullard Talent. She tried out for the improv team again this year, and easily made it. She also tried out for the middle school play again, and she has been accepted into the play (Seusical Jr.) but we don't know which part she'll get yet.  She had a lot of anxiety about this year, but I think she'll do great! She's excited to be taking stagecraft this year (prepping for the play) and jazz dance at her school in place of PE. She also scored advanced in everything on her STAR test.

Johnny is at Manchester GATE, and he's loving it. He was assigned to a teacher that we had heard some negative things about, but it seems like he really likes her. He's going to try beginning band this year, playing clarinet. He'll be taking some private lessons for a while until he feels comfortable. He's also considering cross country, which I think would be very good for him.

It's going to be a busy year!! We're looking forward to lots of good things!

Grouchy Mom

Today, I herded the kids outside to work on the branches (from the really big branch) that fell a few weeks ago. We are cutting the smaller branches into kindling and the bigger branches into firewood for the winter. This requires stripping off the leaves first. This, as you will recall, was a monster sized branch. I had planned on paying someone to do it, but the mini-remodel in the breezeway followed by the discovery that my roof needs major repair, followed immediately by the realization that my cooler is leaking...well, let's just say it was no longer in the budget. The kids didn't want to work on it. They were finding every excuse to avoid it. And I was becoming grouchier by the minute as I watched them mess around and do very little actual work.

Finally, I went outside and proceeded to behave in a crazed, run-for-the-hills manic manner as I tore into the branches, grumbling about children who didn't want to contribute to the household welfare but wanted all the benefits of it. Part of me worries that my kids will grow up to be lazy people who can't take care of their homes and families, and part of me recognizes that MOST kids don't want to do such hard work and I'm expecting a lot of them. I also know that as a single mom, if the kids don't help me, we are unlikely to be able to keep up with all that needs to be done around the house.

The children did ultimately help out a little more, and as it turns out, tearing up branches and sweating to death in the August heat did in fact calm me down. The kids and I have done a lot of good this summer, not just around our home, but also at the Bishop's storehouse and at Poverello House. We can do this...together!

Summer of Service

Last week was a busy week! On Monday, the two youngest kids went to a humanitarian project to make hats and toys for people around the world who have been hard hit by natural disasters. Then Monday evening, we helped a friend load up her moving truck. On Tuesday morning, we went to the Bishop's Storehouse to help package food for needy families in the central valley. That same afternoon, Kelly and I went and helped a friend to clean up after their move. Wednesday was faith in God for girls, as well as mutual for the older three kids. Thursday, we went BACK to the Bishop's storehouse (just can't get enough!) and Friday, we served at the Poverello House.

Someone asked me what we were doing all this for. Like most things in my life, I decided to do it for my children. My goal is to raise healthy, independent, self-reliant, grateful, happy adults who contribute and give back to their community. I don't want them going out into the world asking, what's in it for me? I don't want them thinking the world owes them anything. I want them to develop their talents and their gifts, to work hard for their dreams, and to always remember that someone is worse off than they are.

I felt that we needed to spend some time helping others who have less or who need more help than we do currently. I want my kids to grow up grateful, with a sense of self-worth that is unrelated to their score or level on some video game they mastered this summer. I want them to know that every person is a child of God, and deserves dignity and respect. I also want them to develop faith and a testimony of God's love for all of his children, to have a testimony of paying tithing and of service. I want them to love each other.

Another reason is to help the children realize that despite all the things we do without, that we are very blessed. I'm working very little right now and going to school. I'm trying to make a better life for myself and the kids...to set an example for them to finish their education. That means our budget right now is very tight, and getting tighter daily. Taking this step has required a lot of faith for me. I'm not comfortable living so close to the wire. Yet because of prayer, I know it is what I am supposed to do: go back to college, really serve others with all my heart, grow my testimony and be the best mom I know how to be(not necessarily in that order!). I'm not certain of much beyond those goals. However, I know that the children and I are feeling closer and more thankful for all that we have. I wanted the children to know that when we complain about what we don't have, we are forgetting all that we DO have.

We enjoy our time together in these service projects. We have witnessed God's hand in our lives and in the lives of others.  I hope to establish an eternal pattern for myself and all of my kids...serve, serve, serve, with all of our hearts.

Prayer Works

The other day, Johnny was complaining to me that Kelly didn't like him. Loudly. A short time later, when he had calmed down, I reminded him of a family story about prayer.

When I was pregnant with Laine, they told me it was a girl, but since I've known several people to be surprised when the opposite gender child popped out at the end of nine months, I always told the children that the doctor said it was one sex, but it could be the other. We always selected names for both sexes. So when I was pregnant with Laine, I told Joe and Kelly that if we had a girl, the baby would be called Mary, and if it was a boy, the baby would be called Johnny. (I should probably explain that Laine's name is Mary Elaine, but we always intended to call her Laine as her nickname.) Laine was going to be our last baby...no more after her.

When I had Laine, Kelly came to visit at the hospital. At three years old, she always said what she thought. She thought Laine was really cute, and she was really happy to see her. She held her and sang to her and got really jealous when Erin held her. She told Joe to be careful when he was holding his new baby sister. Then when it was time to go home, she became very agitated. When I asked her what was wrong, she kept asking "What about Johnny?" I tried to explain to her that the baby could have been a boy or a girl, but we had a girl baby, and there was no boy baby. She was still upset and began to cry when we got into the car without Johnny. I finally calmed her down.

Yet everyday after that, anytime Kelly said a prayer, she prayed that Johnny would come to our family. She prayed that her little brother could be born. She asked that she could see her little brother and hold him. She asked at bedtime, and in the morning, and at meals. She asked in her prayers in her classes at church, too.

I was actively trying to prevent getting pregnant, not because I didn't want any more children, but because the stress in our home was enormous. Well, after about one year of Kelly's constant prayers, I found out that I was pregnant, and Johnny came into our family 21 months after Laine. Right from the start, Kelly was convinced that her little brother was the cutest little guy she had ever seen, except for bubba Joe. He was loved immediately by all of us!

Now when I told this story to Johnny, his countenance brightened. And now, when he's feeling upset with Kelly, I just remind him that she prayed him into our family, and she does love him.

Prayer works, my friends. Johnny is living proof.

Small Miracles

Yesterday, I tackled my closet. And when I say tackled, I mean it. I keep all of my paints, clay, craft supplies, sewing supplies, and yarn in my closet in addition to my clothes. Over the past six months as I've been preoccupied with school, Kelly (and the other kids, but mostly Kelly) has been helping herself to whatever is in the closet, which wouldn't be so bad if she returned things to where she got them, and put other things back that she moved out of the way or tidied up in the slightest. Let's just say, that's a dream that's unlikely to hit reality until she has her own kids and starts to realize how disorganization consumes life.

Anyway, my closet was a complete and utter disaster. As I was working, I was fighting my tendency to give up on projects that seem too overwhelming. It causes this depression and a kind of paralysis when I am faced with a task that huge. Nevertheless, I pressed forward and about the time that I was feeling super discouraged, I found a basket filled with miscellaneous items that needed sorting. I sat down at the table to clear it out, and when I dumped it on the table, I noticed something sparkly still stuck in the basket. Upon closer examination, I discovered much to my shock and pleasure, that the ring that I had put in my purse to get sized (right before it was stolen from my car) was THERE!

Stuck in this basket was a small miracle. Now this is not an expensive ring. It has a "blue" pearl and the teeniest of diamonds set in a simple gold setting, but I've used it since I first received it to remind myself of God's love for me, that each person is a pearl of great price in his eyes, and that I should value myself and everyone I meet. It's also symbolic of the gospel to me. When I happened upon this ring, I felt certain that it was God reminding me of all of my blessings, and his sure knowledge of the things that give me pleasure. I know it was a small thing, but to have thought these several months that it was gone forever, and then to find it in a place where it ought not to have been, gave me such peaceful joy. He truly knows our hearts!

Advancing

Joe had an interview with the Bishop yesterday to advance in the priesthood...he'll be moving from a deacon to a teacher on July 10th, the Sunday after Scout camp is over. He has asked Bro. DeButts, a ward member that Joe looks up to and admires, to do the ordination, and he has graciously agreed.

Joe turns 14 tomorrow. Joe is such an honorable young man...he always tries to do his duty. He's honest and kind. He has a clear conscience because he does what he is supposed to, and doesn't do what he isn't supposed to. He even helps his siblings do the same.

I'm blessed to be his mom!!

My Dad

I'd like to introduce you to one of the smartest people I know...my dad! I know he's smart because he married my mom. (He's also smart in other ways.) He's a quiet man, who talks a lot more once he knows someone well, but still talks less than most people.

My dad was a marine briefly, and after he left the marines, he went into civil service and worked on the base. When I was a kid, I thought my dad could fix anything. He was a heavy duty mechanic when I was young, and later was trained to be a radar maintenance technician. Some of my earliest memories involve visiting him on the base in San Diego. I remember looking out the back window at these tall men in uniforms who smiled at me as we drove through the gates. I also remember sitting in some kind of cafe on base with my dad and my mom, eating french fries with tons of ketchup. Everyone was so nice to me that I thought my dad must be really important. I stole my dad's french fries when he wasn't looking.

Later, when he was attending a community college near our home in 29 Palms, I remember driving to the college to pick him up once when the wind was blowing really hard, I think because he was worried about riding his motorcycle in the strong winds. When we returned home, the wind had blown part of our roof off and bent our CB antenna on the house. I remember worrying about my dad who I could hear walking around on the roof that night, trying to do some damage control.

I have been impressed with him all my life for his careful, thoughtful manner. He didn't get mad easily, but when he did get mad, watch out! It seemed like his eyes would change from blue to green when he was mad.

From my dad, I learned to love and respect motorcycles. I learned from him to clean the top of the refrigerator, how to peel potatoes, that a kitchen wasn't clean if you just washed the dishes...you had to wipe off the stove and clean the counters. He instilled in me to change my oil frequently...so much so that when my car's indicator tells me it's time to change my oil, I get extremely upset if I go past the indicated mileage and envision my car melting down in the middle of the highway from lack of maintenance. My dad also taught me to be a critical thinker...just because television or the news says it's so, doesn't mean it is. He taught me to be realistic and pragmatic. Life is hard, and most of the time, life doesn't work out the way you want it to, but that doesn't mean you should just give up.

My dad loved electronics...any technology in fact. He always wanted the most recent technological toys. He started his own repair and sales business for electronics and CB radios. His shop was in our garage in our back yard. I remember working with my dad in his shop when I had a science fair coming up. My dad helped me to make a sound synthesizer. I learned how to read a schematic, all about circuit boards, how to solder, what makes switches work, and all sorts of other things about electronics. My dad also taught me basic programming.

My dad was always a hard worker. He spent his time supporting his family and doing home and car repairs. He had a lot of strength, too. I remember one holiday when my parents were making turkey, my dad took the turkey out of the oven and the pan collapsed. Hot oil and liquid spilled onto his legs and feet. He carefully put the turkey back into the oven, closed the oven door, and walked to the bathroom where he filled up the tub with cold water and ice and took care of his injuries. I don't remember him saying a word during the accident. I'm sure it hurt terribly.

These days, my dad is retired from civil service. He still works part time at a tire shop and still fixes things. He looks after my mom. He and my mom go every Sunday to the continuing care to visit their friends who live there, to play games and to talk. He is a wonderful father, and I love him very much!

Eternal Things

This week has been EFY at home - meaning that instead of the kids traveling to Utah or somewhere else, they stay here in Fresno and have the same program but sleep at home every night. There are classes, scripture study, singing, games, fun, dancing...they keep the kids so busy that they come home exhausted and happy. So from 9a to 9p, Joe and Kelly have been spending their time at the West Stake Center.

Dropping them off every day and picking them up every night is so much fun, mostly because I get to see our beautiful temple every day. The people who take care of the grounds of the temple do such an amazing job! And it lifts my heart to know the good work that takes place inside those well-loved walls. I think of all the people who work to make our small little temple so beautiful and pleasant, but mostly I am grateful to the Lord that he saw fit to give our area its own temple. I remember driving with the kids every week to the temple grounds as it was being built. I have a photo of the kids (Kelly and Joe) turning over a shovel-full of dirt for the temple. We would go to the temple every Sunday after church to see what progress had been made. I remember watching with Kelly, Joe, and Laine (who was just a baby) as the angel Moroni was put on the top of the spire. And I remember vividly the dedication of the temple, and seeing the prophet Gordon B Hinckley, the only prophet I had ever seen in person. I also remember visiting the temple grounds and doing sessions in the midst of one of the most difficult periods of my life, and the peace and love I felt there.

I'm looking forward to Laine turning twelve on July 5th. She will be old enough to visit the temple for the first time and do baptisms for the dead. Then I will be able to be within the walls of the temple with three of my children! (Well, four if Erin and Nick were closer!) I imagine how it will be when all four of the younger group can attend. I think of Erin and Nick getting sealed someday soon. I think of the blessings of doing temple work for our families, of which there is a LOT to do since I am the only member on my side of the family, and the kids' father's side has a lot to be done as well. The blessing of the gospel and the atonement of Christ is that we get to be together as a family eternally if we repent, endure to the end, and believe!

I attended the missionary farewell this last Tuesday. President and Sister Gonzales are going home, and they and several of the missionaries bore testimonies at the meeting. I was really touched by the last elder, who said that the atonement means everything to him, and to be able to share what Christ has done for all of us with the people in his mission area has meant the world. Really, all the things that we have going on in our lives, all the little frustrations and difficulties mean very little unless we let all these things improve our focus on Jesus and his atoning sacrifice. This is why the world was created...to bring all of God's children home to him.

I am so grateful for this knowledge, and the blessings of the gospel in my life. I love my Savior and I pray that he will help me become more like him. I also hope that he will touch the hearts of everyone I love and help them find their way to him. Have a truly wonderful day!

Furry Farewell

We had to say goodbye to our cat Hailey yesterday. We got Hailey when she was about a year old from the Cat House on the Kings. We actually got two cats at that time...Timmy for Joe's 9th birthday and Hailey for Laine's 7th birthday, which were just week apart. The two cats were brother and sister, and were inseparable. When we brought them home, we discovered much to our dismay that the cats had ringworm. We had to lock the kitties up in the bathroom until all signs of it were completely gone, which took about a month. During that month, we also discovered that Hailey had an eating disorder. She would lay by her bowl and eat non-stop if we let her, so we resorted to feeding the cats only once per day.

They used to run around the house playing tag with each other. If the cats were sleeping you could bet that they'd be sleeping next to one another. Hailey was a homebody, but Timmy was a daredevil and would run for the door as soon as it opened. This resulted in Timmy being hit by a car about 3 years ago, and many sad hearts at the Cavanaugh household. Hailey's digestive problems caused her to have stinky diarrhea most of the time, and finally after too long with the cat litter box not being cleaned properly, I finally decided that we needed to let the cats be indoor/outdoor cats and let them do their business outside.

That's when Hailey met her brother from another mother, Roshi...our next door neighbor's cat. She also became enthralled with the children who live next door, who just loved to feed her by hand (we used to call it popping bon-bons).  Hailey took to hanging out at our neighbors' yard with her new best friend Roshi more than at our home. But if it was cold or wet, she would come begging at our door since our neighbors wouldn't let her in. She would also come running if they were on vacation. Food was suddenly accessible all the time to her (we have a cat friendly neighborhood), and she began to rack up the pounds. Soon it became impossible for her to clean herself, and several times when she was filthy, she would work her way to our house to be washed by her happy-to-see-her children owners, who clipped her backside and washed her up.

Laine bemoaned the "loss" of her cat to the neighbors, but knew she could visit her anytime she wanted. And when she came over, she purred and preened for all of us. Then Thursday after about a three month absence, Hailey suddenly showed up at our front door. I bent down to scratch her ears and noticed that she was bleeding a little and smelled atrocious. Upon examination, we discovered that she had a deep circular wound on her upper thigh/buttock area, and it was clearly infected and crawling with maggots. When she walked, she couldn't put weight on her back leg, and her backside was filthy. I cleaned her up a little and decided to see what the new day would bring before making a decision about what to do.

All night and into the morning, she kept crying out. She had made her way into the back yard and was moving from place to place, only about 8 to 10 inches at a time before she would collapse. She was bleeding very profusely, and clearly in a lot of pain. I realized that the situation was beyond help. A friend helped me load her into the car, and I had to take her to the SPCA to be euthanized. I thought my heart would break. I couldn't even speak to the desk clerk because I was so upset. When I told the children, they were all sad, but the saddest of all was little Laine, who had loved her fatty cat with all of her heart.

I told her that now Hailey and Timmy are together again, probably playing tag and sleeping side by side. Poor Roshi is heartbroken and won't stop crying for his friend. I know Hailey's in a much happier place now, but we'll miss our furry family member.