On Sunday, we did a special sharing time where we had four stations set up and smaller groups of kids moved from station to station. Each station had a teacher/leader assigned to bear witness about how our prayers were answered. One was about how a prayer had been answered during conference or through living prophets. Another was how a prayer had been answered through another person. The third was how a prayer had been answered through the scriptures. The fourth was a testimony of how God always hears our prayers.
During the time when junior primary was in sharing time, I went with a particular group so that I could stay with Carson, who has autism and needs a little extra support from time to time. We circled through group one and two, and he was quiet, but definitely very interested in hugging my leg and sitting on my lap. It seemed like he wasn't listening very much, but I could tell he was a little because of how he reacted from time to time. When we went to the third group, Holly was talking with the kids about the scriptures, and she asked whose words were in the scriptures. Nobody volunteered an answer, and she turned and asked Carson, "Whose words are in the scriptures?" In her hands, she held the open scriptures. Carson suddenly sat up in my lap, touched the pages of the scriptures, and said very sweetly and clearly, "Jesus Christ." I felt the rush of the spirit and tears immediately sprang to my eyes. I love that little boy!!
And that is why I love primary. A little boy's words can make me want to devour the scriptures. His words can make me feel the rush of the spirit. His love can help me feel the Savior's love. His simple faith can touch my heart.
Primary rocks!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Halloween Photos
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| Johnny wanted to be a dwarf, Joe is some kind of "mad" software developer or something from Aperture Labs (think Portal), Laine is a sack of potatoes, and Kelly is a zombie. |
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| Laine and Kelly love these lights I found one year at Halloween...they look like candy corn. They hung them up in their room as soon as we took the decorations out. |
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| here's a close-up of those candy corn lights. Pretty cool, huh? At least these can't give you cavities. :-) |
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| A closer look at Kelly's Zombie costume. |
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Johnny and the Clarinet
Last school year, Johnny took a great interest in learning to play an instrument. I love to see the kids get interested in music...I think music is a tremendous blessing, and being able to create your own music is a gift not just to that individual, but to others around them. Joe is learning to play guitar, Kelly is learning piano and ukelele, and Laine is studying voice and piano. Johnny decided he would like to learn to play the clarinet (like his older sister, Erin).
I obtained a clarinet and paid a few hundred dollars to get it properly conditioned. I spoke to the music store about lessons and bought reeds. Then school started and we asked for information about beginning band. Johnny picked up his clarinet and tried blowing through it. Not a sound. He tried pushing some keys...still no sound. He became anxious about missing class to take music lessons at school. He thought he would look dumb if he couldn't even make one sound. He demanded to quit band. I made a deal with him...if you still can't make a sound after one month in band, then you can quit.
Every day, especially when he's upset with his father, he gives me grief about practicing clarinet. Yet, we long since passed the one month mark, and he's not only making sounds, he's making music! He was half-hearted in his practicing, and I wanted to step it up a little, so I told him that I would pay him a penny a note during practice time. (See, he's already making money off of music!!) His practicing stepped up dramatically, and he's doing much better. I told him we were committed for a year. I'm just hoping that he eventually comes to like being in band and that music can take hold in him.
I obtained a clarinet and paid a few hundred dollars to get it properly conditioned. I spoke to the music store about lessons and bought reeds. Then school started and we asked for information about beginning band. Johnny picked up his clarinet and tried blowing through it. Not a sound. He tried pushing some keys...still no sound. He became anxious about missing class to take music lessons at school. He thought he would look dumb if he couldn't even make one sound. He demanded to quit band. I made a deal with him...if you still can't make a sound after one month in band, then you can quit.
Every day, especially when he's upset with his father, he gives me grief about practicing clarinet. Yet, we long since passed the one month mark, and he's not only making sounds, he's making music! He was half-hearted in his practicing, and I wanted to step it up a little, so I told him that I would pay him a penny a note during practice time. (See, he's already making money off of music!!) His practicing stepped up dramatically, and he's doing much better. I told him we were committed for a year. I'm just hoping that he eventually comes to like being in band and that music can take hold in him.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Being Alone
I was talking with someone once about my desire to find a companion. Her comment to me was that I should accept that I may never marry again in this life. Way to encourage a girl, huh?
When I first separated from my husband, I thought I would never remarry. Too much work. Too much trouble. I've got a track record of choosing people that are mean, whether they intend to be or not. I couldn't imagine dating. At that point in my life, I was barely holding myself together enough to manage my children and I.
In fact, one of my acquaintances in the church heard that I was getting divorced, and she told me that I shouldn't go through with it. I had never discussed my situation with her, and I don't know what she thought she knew about it, but I was curious enough to ask her why she thought I shouldn't. She told me that I wouldn't have anyone to care for me when the children were gone. Without even thinking about it, I told her that my faith was enough, my relationship with God was enough, and I didn't need to stay married or get remarried in order to be happy.
I am happy to report that I was right - and wrong. It is true that our relationship with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ strengthens us and sustains us, through trials, temptations, loneliness, despair. It is true that we can be happy if we are doing the right things, with or without a companion. In fact, if our relationship with God is amiss, then all of our other relationships are in jeopardy, so creating a strong relationship with Him is essential.
However, I was also wrong. My bishop at the time discussed with me what my plan was for my life. He encouraged me to stay strong in the faith, to date, fall in love and marry at the appropriate time. I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn't think I could do that, didn't want to do that and maybe didn't even need to do that, that my relationship with God was enough. He always had his scriptures ready, this wonderful man. He whipped them out, opened them up and had me read from Genesis 2, and in Moses, and in Abraham. All three said the same thing...essentially God had created men and women to be together, that it wasn't "good that man should be alone." He advised me to think about the proclamation on the family, about what I knew from the temple, and to put all of this together in my heart. He encouraged me to pray about it and think about the example I was setting for my children.
Even years after this conversation, I felt conflicted. I thought perhaps that my loneliness and desire to be with a companion might be stemming from a lack of faith. I finally told told God that I was lonely, and he said, "Duh, you idiot! You're sitting at home alone or with your kids. Are you expecting me to send someone to your door?" Okay, okay. He didn't really say that, that's just my interpretation. In other words, he was telling me to do what I could to create opportunities where he could bring people into my life. Once I overcame this hurdle and started actively seeking friendships and relationships with others, I still frequently got (and still get) confronted with the realities of dating at my age. Most of the men I have talked to who are my age are looking for younger, blonde, beautiful, skinny women with no baggage.
Um, yeah...good luck with that.
I own a mirror. A big one. And even though I try to avoid looking into it as much as possible, I know I'm not particularly young anymore, or beautiful, or skinny. As for baggage...well, if you're a reader of my blog you know!
Nevertheless, I decided to take God at his word...attend some functions, accept any and all reasonable invitations, and not set limits on who God might have in store for me. I am not particularly brave either, but I have a friend who had been encouraging me to attend some single adult activities for our church, and I had been resisting. I finally told him I would go to some activities, and I discovered, after the initial terror had passed, that it was a great place to make friends and find others who are going through some of the same struggles that I have been. Most of the people who attend are women, but there are a few men. I've even been asked out a few times, by older men. (I tend to prefer older guys anyway.)
I've asked a few men out, too. Most of the time, I get rejected. In fact, people trying to publish books probably get fewer rejections than me. It's easy to believe I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough for anyone to take an interest in. I've been on the verge of giving up several times and just staying at home watching Netflix videos until my brains fall out.
However, I am trying my best to believe that God's promises are sure, even for me. I am trying to live my life in a way that qualifies me to receive those blessings. I will obey and keep my heart open to whatever his plan might be. It's surprising how much courage it takes to keep it up.
When I first separated from my husband, I thought I would never remarry. Too much work. Too much trouble. I've got a track record of choosing people that are mean, whether they intend to be or not. I couldn't imagine dating. At that point in my life, I was barely holding myself together enough to manage my children and I.
In fact, one of my acquaintances in the church heard that I was getting divorced, and she told me that I shouldn't go through with it. I had never discussed my situation with her, and I don't know what she thought she knew about it, but I was curious enough to ask her why she thought I shouldn't. She told me that I wouldn't have anyone to care for me when the children were gone. Without even thinking about it, I told her that my faith was enough, my relationship with God was enough, and I didn't need to stay married or get remarried in order to be happy.
I am happy to report that I was right - and wrong. It is true that our relationship with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ strengthens us and sustains us, through trials, temptations, loneliness, despair. It is true that we can be happy if we are doing the right things, with or without a companion. In fact, if our relationship with God is amiss, then all of our other relationships are in jeopardy, so creating a strong relationship with Him is essential.
However, I was also wrong. My bishop at the time discussed with me what my plan was for my life. He encouraged me to stay strong in the faith, to date, fall in love and marry at the appropriate time. I told him in no uncertain terms that I didn't think I could do that, didn't want to do that and maybe didn't even need to do that, that my relationship with God was enough. He always had his scriptures ready, this wonderful man. He whipped them out, opened them up and had me read from Genesis 2, and in Moses, and in Abraham. All three said the same thing...essentially God had created men and women to be together, that it wasn't "good that man should be alone." He advised me to think about the proclamation on the family, about what I knew from the temple, and to put all of this together in my heart. He encouraged me to pray about it and think about the example I was setting for my children.
Even years after this conversation, I felt conflicted. I thought perhaps that my loneliness and desire to be with a companion might be stemming from a lack of faith. I finally told told God that I was lonely, and he said, "Duh, you idiot! You're sitting at home alone or with your kids. Are you expecting me to send someone to your door?" Okay, okay. He didn't really say that, that's just my interpretation. In other words, he was telling me to do what I could to create opportunities where he could bring people into my life. Once I overcame this hurdle and started actively seeking friendships and relationships with others, I still frequently got (and still get) confronted with the realities of dating at my age. Most of the men I have talked to who are my age are looking for younger, blonde, beautiful, skinny women with no baggage.
Um, yeah...good luck with that.
I own a mirror. A big one. And even though I try to avoid looking into it as much as possible, I know I'm not particularly young anymore, or beautiful, or skinny. As for baggage...well, if you're a reader of my blog you know!
Nevertheless, I decided to take God at his word...attend some functions, accept any and all reasonable invitations, and not set limits on who God might have in store for me. I am not particularly brave either, but I have a friend who had been encouraging me to attend some single adult activities for our church, and I had been resisting. I finally told him I would go to some activities, and I discovered, after the initial terror had passed, that it was a great place to make friends and find others who are going through some of the same struggles that I have been. Most of the people who attend are women, but there are a few men. I've even been asked out a few times, by older men. (I tend to prefer older guys anyway.)
I've asked a few men out, too. Most of the time, I get rejected. In fact, people trying to publish books probably get fewer rejections than me. It's easy to believe I'm not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough for anyone to take an interest in. I've been on the verge of giving up several times and just staying at home watching Netflix videos until my brains fall out.
However, I am trying my best to believe that God's promises are sure, even for me. I am trying to live my life in a way that qualifies me to receive those blessings. I will obey and keep my heart open to whatever his plan might be. It's surprising how much courage it takes to keep it up.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Our Monday
Monday again. Just the thought of it makes me exhausted. The kids are up getting ready for seminary. I'm about to wake up the younger two for morning prayer, then I have to take Kelly and Joe to seminary. When I get back, it's packing lunches, starting laundry and getting the animals taken care of. Then at 7:30, I take Johnny to the chapel where he normally walks with Joe and friends to the bus stop (usually Laine goes, too, but today is piano lesson day). Today, it will be just "and friends" walking with Johnny since Joe has a doctor's appointment.
I'll drive Kelly to Hoover, then take Laine and Joe to Laine's piano lesson. I'll be sitting in the car, Joe working on homework while I study my scriptures. After that, I drop Laine off at school and take Joe to his doctor's appointment. When he's finished, I'll drop him at school and head to Fresno State for my MWF class. After class, I need to go grocery shopping because we are out of just about everything. There should be time for me to run everything home before I have to pick up Johnny at 2:15, Joe at 2:30, Laine at 2:45 and Kelly at 2:50. (Normally pick up schedule is not quite so insane, but this week is parent-teacher conferences and Laine and Johnny get out an hour earlier than usual). Then I have to get back to Johnny's school for a conference at 3:40. Sometime after that and before 5:00, I have to make a dish to bring to a halloween party and get the kids going on homework. At 5, I will be driving Kelly to her piano lessons, and while she's inside, I will be studying for a major test happening on Thursday. When she's finished, I have to drive back to pick up the kids and head to the Halloween party. (Costumes?? What costumes??). After the halloween party, we will be heading back to our home where we will do a family home evening lesson and get everyone ready for bed.
Can I just go back to bed?
I'll drive Kelly to Hoover, then take Laine and Joe to Laine's piano lesson. I'll be sitting in the car, Joe working on homework while I study my scriptures. After that, I drop Laine off at school and take Joe to his doctor's appointment. When he's finished, I'll drop him at school and head to Fresno State for my MWF class. After class, I need to go grocery shopping because we are out of just about everything. There should be time for me to run everything home before I have to pick up Johnny at 2:15, Joe at 2:30, Laine at 2:45 and Kelly at 2:50. (Normally pick up schedule is not quite so insane, but this week is parent-teacher conferences and Laine and Johnny get out an hour earlier than usual). Then I have to get back to Johnny's school for a conference at 3:40. Sometime after that and before 5:00, I have to make a dish to bring to a halloween party and get the kids going on homework. At 5, I will be driving Kelly to her piano lessons, and while she's inside, I will be studying for a major test happening on Thursday. When she's finished, I have to drive back to pick up the kids and head to the Halloween party. (Costumes?? What costumes??). After the halloween party, we will be heading back to our home where we will do a family home evening lesson and get everyone ready for bed.
Can I just go back to bed?
Friday, October 21, 2011
The story of Ruth
I've been thinking a lot about the story of Ruth in the Old Testament. I watched a movie about Ruth on Netflix recently, and it touched my heart, so I reread it again from the scriptures, and the story has been staying in my heart this week. When Ruth's husband died, she moved with her mother-in-law to Bethlehem. There she found love, a man who would redeem her from her destitute, foreign status.She and her husband would be ancestors of David and eventually, Jesus himself. For the first time, I read this story with an eye for what the story could teach me about Christ, as well as for the human element. I have learned some deeply treasured spiritual insights that I can't stop thinking about. In addition, as I read the story, I thought about Boaz as a man. Did he realize all that God had in store for him, that he would be one of the ancestors of Christ? Of course not, yet because he was a kind and merciful man, and because God plans for every eventuality, Boaz and Ruth were both able to become more than they probably thought was possible.
Many times in recent years, I've questioned the path my life is taking. In many ways, I have thought to lay some of my dreams aside because I cannot conceive of how some of those things that I envision could ever come to pass. I have struggled with what God's plan is for me. Thanks to my prior Bishop, I opened myself up to possibilities that I thought were dead ends in my life. I allowed hope to creep into my heart. However, the sheer terror I feel when faced with the realization that God may want more for me than I want for myself has almost made me turn my back a number of times. I have tried to sabotage good things in my life, feeling like I do not deserve them. I have visited failure and disappointment so frequently that they are like old friends and sometimes, I would rather face the bleakness and depression every day than take the leap of faith that might lead to more pain and disappointment, or, even more terrifying, lead to a happiness that I just cannot envision.
This line of thinking reminds me of this quote from Mere Christianity, which I've loved for many years.
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.[C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 174; book 4, chapter 9, paragraph 10]
I guess I love it more in theory than in reality, or rather love it and believe it for others that I care about, but have difficulty applying it or accepting it into to my own life. Isn't that strange? Accepting that God can completely transform another's life, but failing to see how it can be true for me as well?
And so, since it's easier to pose these questions of you than of myself, does God want you to have a palace, while you are prepared to accept a cottage? Is it possible that he would use your life to change and transform the lives of others, if only you would let him? And is it possible that he wants greater happiness for you than you have ever dared to dream? What would happen if you let him?
Many times in recent years, I've questioned the path my life is taking. In many ways, I have thought to lay some of my dreams aside because I cannot conceive of how some of those things that I envision could ever come to pass. I have struggled with what God's plan is for me. Thanks to my prior Bishop, I opened myself up to possibilities that I thought were dead ends in my life. I allowed hope to creep into my heart. However, the sheer terror I feel when faced with the realization that God may want more for me than I want for myself has almost made me turn my back a number of times. I have tried to sabotage good things in my life, feeling like I do not deserve them. I have visited failure and disappointment so frequently that they are like old friends and sometimes, I would rather face the bleakness and depression every day than take the leap of faith that might lead to more pain and disappointment, or, even more terrifying, lead to a happiness that I just cannot envision.
This line of thinking reminds me of this quote from Mere Christianity, which I've loved for many years.
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.[C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 174; book 4, chapter 9, paragraph 10]
I guess I love it more in theory than in reality, or rather love it and believe it for others that I care about, but have difficulty applying it or accepting it into to my own life. Isn't that strange? Accepting that God can completely transform another's life, but failing to see how it can be true for me as well?
And so, since it's easier to pose these questions of you than of myself, does God want you to have a palace, while you are prepared to accept a cottage? Is it possible that he would use your life to change and transform the lives of others, if only you would let him? And is it possible that he wants greater happiness for you than you have ever dared to dream? What would happen if you let him?
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Thrash, Trash and Cash
I've been thrashing around in my closet some more today, and trashed about 20 pounds of garbage and 15 pounds of paper. Now, I'm going to "cash" in by selling all my hobby stuff that I never use anymore (like my stamp sets) and other unused usable things that are just cluttering up my life and my closet. Hello, Craig's list and/or yard sale!
I found correspondence from 20+ years ago that I think I'll keep. I also found bank records and tax stuff from the late 80's and early 90's. Dang, where's a shredder when I need one? Guess I'll just have to start a shredding business! Then I can write off a brand new shredder. :-)
I still have tons of stuff to purge out of my life, but I'm working on it a bit at a time. It feels really good! I wonder if I'm making room for something big or getting ready for a calamity? Either way, time for a fresh start. Take that, universe!
I found correspondence from 20+ years ago that I think I'll keep. I also found bank records and tax stuff from the late 80's and early 90's. Dang, where's a shredder when I need one? Guess I'll just have to start a shredding business! Then I can write off a brand new shredder. :-)
I still have tons of stuff to purge out of my life, but I'm working on it a bit at a time. It feels really good! I wonder if I'm making room for something big or getting ready for a calamity? Either way, time for a fresh start. Take that, universe!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Snake!
I promised to write about what happened on Saturday night, October 1, when we were camping, so here it goes! Sorry it's taken me so long.
We had a full day of hiking, playing near the river, playing on the beach and being crazy (who, us??). After dinner (fruit, chili & quesadillas), it was already dark, and we were all exhausted. We'd been up since 6:30-ish. (I was already awake that morning, but I pretended to sleep when I heard Johnny start to stir. He LOVES camping and is almost always the first to awaken. He wakes up, starts unzipping the windows, putting his hands outside the tent, putting his shoes on and walking around outside. He just can't wait for the adventure to start, so he starts calling our names - usually starting with Joe - until we are all up and as ready for adventure as he is.)
We crawled into the tent at about 8:30, said our prayers, and opted to skip our "scary story" tradition because we were all too tired. Joe read a few scriptures to us by flashlight, and we fell asleep before he was done. Around 11:30, Johnny, who was sleeping to my left, sat up suddenly and began yelling "snake!" Please keep in mind that I grew up in the desert, and we were frequently cautioned while camping that snakes can sometimes crawl into your sleeping bag for the warmth, so this didn't seem so bewildering to my sleep-fogged brain. I tried to calm him down, knowing that when dealing with all wildlife except bears, you should definitely stay calm. He wasn't having any of it. He leaped from his sleeping bag over to the door of the tent, screaming "snake" the whole time. I sat up and went over by the door, trying to unzip it so he could get out. He grabbed a humongous handful of my hair and used it to support himself while he continued yelling, changing his yelling to say, "Snake on my foot! Snake on my foot!" He then leaped over my legs to where the girls were, and they began screaming as well.
I finally got the door opened, and I tried to get Johnny to leave the tent, but instead he wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist and refused to let go. He was shaking from head to toe. I tried to set him down near the campfire, but he screamed, "No! Snakes!" I carried him to the picnic table where he still refused to let go of me, and people in nearby campsites began to ask if everything was okay. I told them I wasn't sure yet, and went back to the tent with Johnny still attached to use the flashlight to see if there really was a snake.
Back at the tent, Johnny surprised me by letting go of me and sitting on his sleeping bag, where he woke up. Yes, that's right, I said woke up. He had been having a night terror the whole time, eyes wide open, seemingly lucid and awake, but not. Just to be safe, we looked around the tent and there were no snakes in our tent. The girls were still sitting in their sleeping bags, and Joe was sound asleep.
As we talked about it the next morning, we realized that it was probably the kelp on the beach that we were playing with that subconsciously caused Johnny to dream about snakes. These kinds of adventures are part of what make camping memorable and wonderful as a family. At the time, I have to admit, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. :-)
We had a full day of hiking, playing near the river, playing on the beach and being crazy (who, us??). After dinner (fruit, chili & quesadillas), it was already dark, and we were all exhausted. We'd been up since 6:30-ish. (I was already awake that morning, but I pretended to sleep when I heard Johnny start to stir. He LOVES camping and is almost always the first to awaken. He wakes up, starts unzipping the windows, putting his hands outside the tent, putting his shoes on and walking around outside. He just can't wait for the adventure to start, so he starts calling our names - usually starting with Joe - until we are all up and as ready for adventure as he is.)
We crawled into the tent at about 8:30, said our prayers, and opted to skip our "scary story" tradition because we were all too tired. Joe read a few scriptures to us by flashlight, and we fell asleep before he was done. Around 11:30, Johnny, who was sleeping to my left, sat up suddenly and began yelling "snake!" Please keep in mind that I grew up in the desert, and we were frequently cautioned while camping that snakes can sometimes crawl into your sleeping bag for the warmth, so this didn't seem so bewildering to my sleep-fogged brain. I tried to calm him down, knowing that when dealing with all wildlife except bears, you should definitely stay calm. He wasn't having any of it. He leaped from his sleeping bag over to the door of the tent, screaming "snake" the whole time. I sat up and went over by the door, trying to unzip it so he could get out. He grabbed a humongous handful of my hair and used it to support himself while he continued yelling, changing his yelling to say, "Snake on my foot! Snake on my foot!" He then leaped over my legs to where the girls were, and they began screaming as well.
I finally got the door opened, and I tried to get Johnny to leave the tent, but instead he wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist and refused to let go. He was shaking from head to toe. I tried to set him down near the campfire, but he screamed, "No! Snakes!" I carried him to the picnic table where he still refused to let go of me, and people in nearby campsites began to ask if everything was okay. I told them I wasn't sure yet, and went back to the tent with Johnny still attached to use the flashlight to see if there really was a snake.
Back at the tent, Johnny surprised me by letting go of me and sitting on his sleeping bag, where he woke up. Yes, that's right, I said woke up. He had been having a night terror the whole time, eyes wide open, seemingly lucid and awake, but not. Just to be safe, we looked around the tent and there were no snakes in our tent. The girls were still sitting in their sleeping bags, and Joe was sound asleep.
As we talked about it the next morning, we realized that it was probably the kelp on the beach that we were playing with that subconsciously caused Johnny to dream about snakes. These kinds of adventures are part of what make camping memorable and wonderful as a family. At the time, I have to admit, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. :-)
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Missionary Farewell Oct 16
Today was a wonderful day! I was really looking forward to church and I was not disappointed. The talks by the Rasmussen's were beautiful, focusing on how we can receive personal revelation and confirmation through the spirit. After sacrament meeting, the primary was in the chapel and we went through our primary program. Several times, the spirit was very strong, and the presidency felt the children singing with all their hearts. I hope that happens again on Sunday with the whole congregation!
In the afternoon, Kelly received her patriarchal blessing, which was a wonderful experience. I can't share it, of course, because it isn't mine to share. Suffice to say that it was an experience I'll never forget!
Later that evening, I attended the missionary farewell for two missionaries who served our ward and our family well while they were here in Fresno... Elder Tuaitano and Elder Casper. The first half of the farewell testimony meeting is from individuals invited by the missionaries, and the second half is composed of testimonies of the missionaries. Because I knew very few people who were speaking, I simply wrote down thoughts that jumped out at me as I felt the spirit.
From the invitees: Jesus Christ is our loving Savior. The Book of Mormon is a true and living testimony of Jesus Christ. Because of the gospel, we are no longer alone, no longer lost, and if we look to the temple, we can be closer to God and closer to our family. Trust in him with all your heart. Remember that making mistakes is not the end...it's the beginning. (I particularly loved that comment! Repentance and putting our Faith in Christ means that we can start over, anytime, anywhere.)
From all the missionaries: Being a missionary changes lives. If a missionary has impacted your life, thank Heavenly Father more than the missionaries, because they are acting in his behalf, imperfectly but with the Spirit. This church is the only way home. Love for the gospel is deeper than any other thing in our souls, and it should be. The Lord prepares his missionaries...he also prepares people for his missionaries to teach.
Elder Tuaitano: Heavenly Father puts people where they are because of the people in their lives, and we are meant to be in each other's lives. (Wasn't I just talking about this not long ago with someone dear to my heart?) Change is possible and the atonement is real!
Elder Casper: You can draw closer to the Lord than you know. The gospel changes people. The Spirit is what converts people, not missionaries. The only real regret I (elder C) have is that I can't stay longer. Christ leads the church.
President Gelwix spoke as well, and drew our attention to D&C 138:56 and Alma 53: 20-21. Missionaries are personal representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ. He tells his missionaries to live each day with no regrets and it's true for each of us...work your hardest, love your best, come home dog tired each day. He gave one word descriptions of each of the missionaries. For Elder T. he said his word was driven...he never met anyone who worked harder toward his goals. For Elder C. the word he used was humble, that he was always touched by Elder Casper's humility and love for others. He issued a challenge to pray, "Lord, who have YOU already prepared that I should invite?" and then once we know who the Lord would invite, that we should then pray, "To what should I invite them?"
I'm so thankful for such a wonderful day!
In the afternoon, Kelly received her patriarchal blessing, which was a wonderful experience. I can't share it, of course, because it isn't mine to share. Suffice to say that it was an experience I'll never forget!
Later that evening, I attended the missionary farewell for two missionaries who served our ward and our family well while they were here in Fresno... Elder Tuaitano and Elder Casper. The first half of the farewell testimony meeting is from individuals invited by the missionaries, and the second half is composed of testimonies of the missionaries. Because I knew very few people who were speaking, I simply wrote down thoughts that jumped out at me as I felt the spirit.
From the invitees: Jesus Christ is our loving Savior. The Book of Mormon is a true and living testimony of Jesus Christ. Because of the gospel, we are no longer alone, no longer lost, and if we look to the temple, we can be closer to God and closer to our family. Trust in him with all your heart. Remember that making mistakes is not the end...it's the beginning. (I particularly loved that comment! Repentance and putting our Faith in Christ means that we can start over, anytime, anywhere.)
From all the missionaries: Being a missionary changes lives. If a missionary has impacted your life, thank Heavenly Father more than the missionaries, because they are acting in his behalf, imperfectly but with the Spirit. This church is the only way home. Love for the gospel is deeper than any other thing in our souls, and it should be. The Lord prepares his missionaries...he also prepares people for his missionaries to teach.
Elder Tuaitano: Heavenly Father puts people where they are because of the people in their lives, and we are meant to be in each other's lives. (Wasn't I just talking about this not long ago with someone dear to my heart?) Change is possible and the atonement is real!
Elder Casper: You can draw closer to the Lord than you know. The gospel changes people. The Spirit is what converts people, not missionaries. The only real regret I (elder C) have is that I can't stay longer. Christ leads the church.
President Gelwix spoke as well, and drew our attention to D&C 138:56 and Alma 53: 20-21. Missionaries are personal representatives of the Lord Jesus Christ. He tells his missionaries to live each day with no regrets and it's true for each of us...work your hardest, love your best, come home dog tired each day. He gave one word descriptions of each of the missionaries. For Elder T. he said his word was driven...he never met anyone who worked harder toward his goals. For Elder C. the word he used was humble, that he was always touched by Elder Casper's humility and love for others. He issued a challenge to pray, "Lord, who have YOU already prepared that I should invite?" and then once we know who the Lord would invite, that we should then pray, "To what should I invite them?"
I'm so thankful for such a wonderful day!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Change is in the air!
I've been working my tail off in all of my classes. Each one keeps me busy, and it seems I always have flash cards in my hand trying to get my brain to absorb all of this new information.
In the midst of all this study, many things go undone...dishes, mopping, yard work, etc. I try to focus in and get my work done, but every once in a while, all those "undone" things start buzzing around in my head and I can't stand it anymore. At what is usually a very bad time (like right before a test) it reaches a tipping point, and I find myself unable to concentrate because all I can think about is tackling those things that need to be done.
Guess what? I'm at another tipping point. First, it was tackling the pile of laundry. Next, it was motivating my son to sweep the patio and put away a few things that shouldn't be hanging about. Today, I'm purging paper and filing things away so that I can once again see the top of my desk. I have the kids plugging away at the dishes, and by tomorrow night, I will have mopped the floors.
The bad part about all of this is the timing: I have two writing assignments due tomorrow and a test, plus my presentation on cancer for my psychology of disability class. I also have to go through depression screening for extra credit (even though I already know the answer to that one!) and get Kelly and Joe to the lab for lab work. I have a test on Friday as well.
However, if I don't do what my brain is telling me has to be done, I won't be able to concentrate on learning anything! What a dilemma.
I've also been trying to get more exercise into my schedule. I'd like to do Yoga with Laine a few days a week because she is REALLY stressing out about school. And I'd like to try to walk two miles a few days a week to get myself a little healthier. I've given up on losing weight...I can't seem to do it, but at least I can make my body more fit. It would be a LOT easier if I had someone to walk with.
On top of all of this, I keep having the feeling that there is a big change coming. I've had this feeling before and I've been right many, many times. I'm trying to pray about what to do in order to prepare for the future. unfortunately, one of those things that I set aside (unintentionally) for a bit to concentrate on school work has been scripture study (except family scripture study...we almost always do that!). So another thing I'm trying to put back in my schedule is personal scripture study. I'm hoping to be more in tune with the spirit as I work through all the problems and issues facing me and my family.
I guess we'll see what happens! At least my house will be more organized when the change hits. ;-p
In the midst of all this study, many things go undone...dishes, mopping, yard work, etc. I try to focus in and get my work done, but every once in a while, all those "undone" things start buzzing around in my head and I can't stand it anymore. At what is usually a very bad time (like right before a test) it reaches a tipping point, and I find myself unable to concentrate because all I can think about is tackling those things that need to be done.
Guess what? I'm at another tipping point. First, it was tackling the pile of laundry. Next, it was motivating my son to sweep the patio and put away a few things that shouldn't be hanging about. Today, I'm purging paper and filing things away so that I can once again see the top of my desk. I have the kids plugging away at the dishes, and by tomorrow night, I will have mopped the floors.
The bad part about all of this is the timing: I have two writing assignments due tomorrow and a test, plus my presentation on cancer for my psychology of disability class. I also have to go through depression screening for extra credit (even though I already know the answer to that one!) and get Kelly and Joe to the lab for lab work. I have a test on Friday as well.
However, if I don't do what my brain is telling me has to be done, I won't be able to concentrate on learning anything! What a dilemma.
I've also been trying to get more exercise into my schedule. I'd like to do Yoga with Laine a few days a week because she is REALLY stressing out about school. And I'd like to try to walk two miles a few days a week to get myself a little healthier. I've given up on losing weight...I can't seem to do it, but at least I can make my body more fit. It would be a LOT easier if I had someone to walk with.
On top of all of this, I keep having the feeling that there is a big change coming. I've had this feeling before and I've been right many, many times. I'm trying to pray about what to do in order to prepare for the future. unfortunately, one of those things that I set aside (unintentionally) for a bit to concentrate on school work has been scripture study (except family scripture study...we almost always do that!). So another thing I'm trying to put back in my schedule is personal scripture study. I'm hoping to be more in tune with the spirit as I work through all the problems and issues facing me and my family.
I guess we'll see what happens! At least my house will be more organized when the change hits. ;-p
Thursday, October 6, 2011
"Filtering Life"
I love it when everyday things refine my focus. It's time to clean the pool filter again. It involves taking apart the filter, rinsing the filter panels, reassembling the pool filter and adding DE. I remember the first time I tried to do it, I really thought I couldn't do it by myself. It seemed too hard, too heavy, too messy, and too time-intensive! Each time I did it, I got a little better at it. Several times later, it was still one of the worst, most hated parts of my regimen, but at that point, I knew I could do it myself. Now it's much easier, and it's almost therapeutic!
I keep thinking that maybe my life will seem that way, eventually. What seems so hard, fruitless, and messy right now won't be that way in the future. At some point, this will all become easier. Right now, I need to focus on what is really important, however challenging it seems. The hardest part is taking the risk of starting, of making mistakes, of getting dirty. That's true in life as well as in love.
I have several dear friends who are dealing with cancer right now. As I've talked with them and observed them through their battles, I've been gathering up pearls of wisdom, things we know already but don't really live unless something compels us. Here are some of the thoughts they've shared: My grandmother used to tell me that before cancer, so many things used to seem important, but cancer was a great filter...it showed you what was really important and what you have taken for granted. One of the blessings of cancer is perspective, several friends have told me. Life is so stinking short. If you find love, let it fill you up. If you need love, seek it and be open to it. Love life and those around you like today is your last day, and for heaven's sake, don't hold grudges...forgive and ask for forgiveness. See God's hand all around you!
I'm grateful for all of my friends, but especially those that take the time to teach me through their lives and their example.
I keep thinking that maybe my life will seem that way, eventually. What seems so hard, fruitless, and messy right now won't be that way in the future. At some point, this will all become easier. Right now, I need to focus on what is really important, however challenging it seems. The hardest part is taking the risk of starting, of making mistakes, of getting dirty. That's true in life as well as in love.
I have several dear friends who are dealing with cancer right now. As I've talked with them and observed them through their battles, I've been gathering up pearls of wisdom, things we know already but don't really live unless something compels us. Here are some of the thoughts they've shared: My grandmother used to tell me that before cancer, so many things used to seem important, but cancer was a great filter...it showed you what was really important and what you have taken for granted. One of the blessings of cancer is perspective, several friends have told me. Life is so stinking short. If you find love, let it fill you up. If you need love, seek it and be open to it. Love life and those around you like today is your last day, and for heaven's sake, don't hold grudges...forgive and ask for forgiveness. See God's hand all around you!
I'm grateful for all of my friends, but especially those that take the time to teach me through their lives and their example.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Camping in Pfeiffer Big Sur Sep 30 - Oct 1
All summer long, we were unable to go camping. This is the first time we've been able to get away together as a family. At first, Kelly didn't want to go. Adamantly. I am feeling a bit sad knowing I won't have many more of these "family trips." Yet we all had a great time this weekend, so I'm celebrating these times while I can! This is our favorite place to camp. Tomorrow I'll try to post about what happened on Saturday night. It was very memorable! These photos were taken with my camera phone, since Kelly forgot her camera, so the quality is low. I hope you can enjoy them anyway!!
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| Joe & Johnny headed off to the Big Sur River! |
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| The Lovely Big Sur River! This time of year there's not much water, but it's still lovely! |
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| Johnny & Joe playing in the river...these two are a team! |
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| The kids playing on fallen logs near the river. |
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| Playing jump rope with sea kelp at Pfeiffer Beach. They started a trend. Others on the beach began to copy them. |
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| I couldn't capture a decent photo of the spray with my lousy camera phone...too much delay. Trust me, it was beautiful! |
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| Johnny, soaked and covered in sand. |
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| We hiked a quarter mile to see the "magnificent waterfall" with a 50 foot drop to the ocean at Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park. Can you say disappointed? |
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| The children, wondering why on earth we hiked to see this waterfall. |
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| We ate lunch at Point Lobos State Reserve in between conference sessions. It was a beautiful area! |
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| The stake center in Monterey where we watched conference. |
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| On the way home, we stopped in to visit with the Martins. We had a great time visiting! |
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