Gifts

Today after church, my phone rang, and when I answered it, it turned out to be a young lady from primary. Her family is fairly new to the church, and she has told me a number of times that she has a lot of trouble coming to church because she hasn't felt like she had a testimony. She had a dream that she didn't understand, and had been praying about this dream, trying out God, so to speak, to see if she could get an answer about this question of faith. Her phone call today was wonderful. The first words out of her mouth were, "Guess what happened, Sister Cavanaugh? I got a testimony!!" My heart was full of joy for her! I told her that when we pray and ask God for help, he answers and gives us inspiration, and that now, she needed to make sure her testimony remained strong by continuing to pray and read the scriptures.

I was also really touched during primary. I was assigned to give the lesson, what's called sharing time. My lesson was on reverence and feeling the Holy Ghost. I just love the things the children come up with when invited to participate, and I consider their smiles and affection to be tremendous blessings of working in primary. I'm so grateful for my calling...I'm grateful for children and their closeness to God. I'm grateful that I get to be witness to moments like hearing a young lady begin to grow her testimony. The biggest joy of all is feeling the love that our Father in Heaven has for these sweet spirits.

Shhhh...can you hear it?

So after a few bleak days (ok, more than a few) I finally came up for air and discovered that God's tender mercies are just as active today as ever.

Shhh! Can you hear it? He's speaking!

While preparing for class today, I listened to President Uchtdorf's talk that he gave at the General Relief Society Meeting. I forgot to attend this meeting when it happened,  but I'm glad I listened today. He talked about "forget-me-nots," relating it to our own feelings that we are forgotten by others and by God. He gave the reminders you see above, and this great thought:

"Sisters, there is something inspiring and sublime about the little forget-me-not flower. I hope it will be a symbol of the little things that make your lives joyful and sweet. Please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than others, that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy. Please never forget that the “why” of the gospel of Jesus Christ will inspire and uplift you. And never forget that your Heavenly Father knows, loves, and cherishes you."


My heart was touched by what I heard. Then, in class, one of my instructors (a Psychologist) began to talk about tips to break the cycle of depression for people who have bouts of it. She kept apologizing for diverting from our topic, but shared some great thoughts about how to turn things around if you are feeling down, or you feel depression coming on. She may not have realized what she was doing, but I know God knew.  :-)


I'm just muddling along, like everyone else. Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of things that inspire me, that let me know God is listening and intervening. What a blessing! I'm not saying I'm out of the woods yet,  but having a little push like these two incidents is sometimes just what I need to make that course correction from despair to hope. 

Missionary Farewell

A few weeks ago, I took a study break and attended the missionary farewell for Elder Moreno and the other missionaries returning home tomorrow. His sweet testimony and kind heart endeared him to my children and I while he was in our ward. We loved having him over for dinner!

There were ten missionaries going home. Several testimonies touched my heart, but one in particular almost had me sobbing. One of the missionaries was talking about how he had prepared his whole life to serve a mission, but at one point in his mission, he said he was hot and the work was hard, and he said in his heart, "This is hard! I want to go home!" I have to say, this resonated for me. Even from the time I was a youth, I realized this life was not going to be easy. Life was hard back then and it still is today. Making good choices is hard. Overcoming my faults is hard. Feeling like I am worth anything is hard. Though it has brought me my most profound joy, finding the gospel only deepened the chasm in some ways because I was (am) always coming up short. Many times in my life and most recently in my marriage, I found myself saying (and praying) the same thing as this sweet elder. I can't do it...I delude myself by thinking that I can. And a part of me knows and remembers Home. I feel deep within me, "I want to go HOME!"

I just keep trying. That's all I can do. Praying, studying, reading, seeking, and trying. Most of all, keeping my heart focused on going HOME!

I Promise....Forever!

Erin and Nick after the sealing. They look so happy together!

Here's the happy location of Erin & Nick's sealing...the Sacramento Temple!

This was such a wonderful weekend. Well, with one exception...we couldn't locate my purse before our departure. But once we were on our way to Davis, life was good. We drove up to visit Erin and Nick. we got into town about 8:30, picked up Nick from work and went for a late dinner at Wing Stop. It was so much fun!

Saturday morning we were up bright and early, getting ready for a big day at the temple. At 9 a.m. we drove to the Sacramento temple, and deposited the kids at a nearby chapel and then went in for the big event. Erin and Nick were sealed for time and eternity at about 11:20 in the morning. It was so beautiful! I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. I felt so blessed to be there. I have loved her since she was four years old, and it was so deeply moving to see her take this step in her life, and to see the progress she and Nick have made in the gospel. I was touched by all the support they received from their ward. Afterward, they were greeted outside the temple by all the kids and by Erin's dad and his wife (and their dog Indy). We went over to the home of a dear friend of Erin's for a reception, and had delicious food and a great time.

Later that afternoon, back at their apartment, several people slept, I worked on homework, and the children played with Widget and Gracie or played on their electronic devices. We went out for pizza in the evening and really enjoyed the food and the fun. We headed back to Fresno later than I expected (about 9) and I was really tired on the way home. We were grateful for the prayers of safety before we left. Everyone except Kelly and I slept on the way home.

I am so grateful to see Erin and Nick receive the blessings of the temple. It makes my heart so happy!

Eternal Things

This week has been EFY at home - meaning that instead of the kids traveling to Utah or somewhere else, they stay here in Fresno and have the same program but sleep at home every night. There are classes, scripture study, singing, games, fun, dancing...they keep the kids so busy that they come home exhausted and happy. So from 9a to 9p, Joe and Kelly have been spending their time at the West Stake Center.

Dropping them off every day and picking them up every night is so much fun, mostly because I get to see our beautiful temple every day. The people who take care of the grounds of the temple do such an amazing job! And it lifts my heart to know the good work that takes place inside those well-loved walls. I think of all the people who work to make our small little temple so beautiful and pleasant, but mostly I am grateful to the Lord that he saw fit to give our area its own temple. I remember driving with the kids every week to the temple grounds as it was being built. I have a photo of the kids (Kelly and Joe) turning over a shovel-full of dirt for the temple. We would go to the temple every Sunday after church to see what progress had been made. I remember watching with Kelly, Joe, and Laine (who was just a baby) as the angel Moroni was put on the top of the spire. And I remember vividly the dedication of the temple, and seeing the prophet Gordon B Hinckley, the only prophet I had ever seen in person. I also remember visiting the temple grounds and doing sessions in the midst of one of the most difficult periods of my life, and the peace and love I felt there.

I'm looking forward to Laine turning twelve on July 5th. She will be old enough to visit the temple for the first time and do baptisms for the dead. Then I will be able to be within the walls of the temple with three of my children! (Well, four if Erin and Nick were closer!) I imagine how it will be when all four of the younger group can attend. I think of Erin and Nick getting sealed someday soon. I think of the blessings of doing temple work for our families, of which there is a LOT to do since I am the only member on my side of the family, and the kids' father's side has a lot to be done as well. The blessing of the gospel and the atonement of Christ is that we get to be together as a family eternally if we repent, endure to the end, and believe!

I attended the missionary farewell this last Tuesday. President and Sister Gonzales are going home, and they and several of the missionaries bore testimonies at the meeting. I was really touched by the last elder, who said that the atonement means everything to him, and to be able to share what Christ has done for all of us with the people in his mission area has meant the world. Really, all the things that we have going on in our lives, all the little frustrations and difficulties mean very little unless we let all these things improve our focus on Jesus and his atoning sacrifice. This is why the world was created...to bring all of God's children home to him.

I am so grateful for this knowledge, and the blessings of the gospel in my life. I love my Savior and I pray that he will help me become more like him. I also hope that he will touch the hearts of everyone I love and help them find their way to him. Have a truly wonderful day!