Fare Thee Well

My friends Scott and Saundra are leaving on a new adventure! Saundra received a promotion and will be beginning her new career in Salt Lake area. Tonight there was a going away party for them, and there were lots of people there to wish them a fond farewell.

I'm so proud of her. I know how hard she has worked. In many ways, she has been a role model for me. Her tenacity in finishing her education helped to inspire me to take the leap myself. I have watched her grow from her early days in the church into an even better person than she already was. And when I was in the midst of turmoil in my private life, I attended the temple once a week at 5:30 in the morning, and nearly every week, she would be there, too. I came to count on her presence, her smile and her hug.

My kids have loved them like part of our family. We have been over to their house for family home evening on several occasions, where we've listened to music, eaten delicious food, and on more than one occasion, we've had root beer floats. Scott ordained Joe to the priesthood.  They've cheered on my children and spoken words of encouragement and positivity. They've gone out of their way to fix ties, compliment a new suit, and tell my girls that they are beautiful. When our family has needed help urgently, Scott was always among the first to show up, tools in hand and dragging a few volunteers.

I have watched these two struggle through health challenges and personal trials with grace and tremendous faith. I have seen them reach out to help others, to love them, and to inspire them. In fact, when I think of Christlike service, I think of these two fine friends. They are anchors for me in my life, and I will miss their personal influence and their hugs greatly.

Thankfully

I think I've said before that Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love having a holiday dedicated to counting our blessings! I feel so blessed, and this year I have felt especially aware of the kindnesses of others as well as the tender mercies of my Father in Heaven. He knows me and provides things in his wisdom that he knows I need. This month, I have felt that he has answered my prayers very specifically in several regards. I have confidence that I can trust him. My heart has been touched several times in just the last week.

Some specific gratitude:
--First, that Erin and Nick made the drive safely from Davis, arriving at 4 a.m.
--Second, that all of my children are safe at home with me and all together for Thanksgiving for the first time in several years.
--For the men who fixed my heater yesterday, and for the friend who arranged it. An unexpected blessing!
--For the friends who shared our meal...Keith Levery, JoAnn, and Keith's roommate (and our new friend) Darrel. (JoAnn will be invited every year since she LIKES doing dishes! Ahh---I'm just teasing. I invite her every year because she's great company!)
--For good health and healthy bodies for my children.
--Last week, I was having such a tough time keeping it together and my good friend Keith Lawniczak brought by a fabulous lasagna dinner, salad and yummy bread that kept my family fed for more than two days.
--I'm so grateful for our home and the land around it!
--I'm thankful for education and the opportunities it will give me and my children.
--I'm so glad for our pets, who are an extension of our family.
--I'm thankful for my faith and all of the richness it provides in my life.
--Most importantly, I'm grateful for my Savior and his loving example of all that I should strive to be. It will probably take me an eternity of striving to become anything like him, but I refuse to give up.
--I'm grateful for this week of service at the storehouse and for one of the most special experiences I have had at the Bishop's storehouse on Wednesday.
--On a personal note, I'm thankful for the privilege of knowing and loving the Scoffield family.
--For men like David DeButts and Bill Scoffield, who teach my young men about being men of God, and teach my young ladies about the qualities that are most important in a future spouse.
--For the scriptures, especially 2 Nephi 4:15-35.
--I feel so blessed to be able to see and experience the beautiful earth and all it's glories! I can't wait to see the world when it has been restored to its perfect form...it's already more beautiful than my heart can take sometimes.
--What would I do without the internet and the ability to stay connected with friends and family around the world?
--We are blessed every day by the leadership in our church at all levels!
--We are thankful for the men and women who serve in the armed forces, and their families for giving up so much so that the rest of us can have so many freedoms and blessings.
--We are so blessed to live in the USA!
--For my friend Tom, who I've loved since high school, and who always pops back into my life (over the phone) at just the perfect moments with encouragement, friendship and joy.
--I have wonderful friends!

My list could go on forever. Gratitude is what keeps my heart turning back to the Lord. I hope each of you have a blessed and tender Thanksgiving!

Another Love Story

My children Kelly and Joseph are 21 months apart and have been close since Joe was first born. Kelly held him just moments after he was born. She immediately took to calling him JoJo, "bubba Joe" or "Boo Boo." To this day, she still calls him "Boo Boo." Kelly did most of the talking when Joe was a baby. This was probably a good thing, because although Joe didn't start talking (except names) until he was about two and a half, once he did start talking, he began speaking in complete sentences and rarely stopped. She sang him songs and dragged him around the house to where ever she wanted to play.

As they got a little older, it became evident that Joe was just as loyal to Kelly. An example of this was that when Kelly was on time out (quite a frequent occurence with Kelly), Joe would sit by her and stay on time out with her until she was done. If I took away a privilege, like dessert or swimming, Joe would refuse his privilege, too. It made it a bit complicated as a parent, because I knew that if I disciplined Kelly, Joe would suffer, too. Kelly always shared everything she had with Joe. She drew him pictures to make him smile and laugh. While Kelly's mercurial moods made her angry sometimes with Joe, Joe never once was angry with Kelly. He was patient and would wait for her to be done yelling, and then he would lean over and smile up at her, and all was fixed again.

Kelly did not like hugging or cuddling much when she was little. SHE would choose when she wanted to be hugged or cuddled. Joe was the opposite. I think when he was little, he must have felt that if he couldn't touch someone, he would disappear, because he was always very close to me, Kelly or Erin, and holding on to our clothes, arms, necks, etc. With Joe, Kelly was much more tolerant, and let him hug her and lean on her and be close to her without too much complaint.

These two children developed a pattern of talking and sharing that was unique to them. It was as if they had their own language. They would talk and laugh so fast together, it was like listening to a river. They would laugh and giggle at things only they could understand. I used to call it the Kelly and Joseph show. The younger kids all slept in the same room until Joe was 5 and Kelly was 7, when the girls all moved in together and the boys got their own room. Kelly and Joe would keep talking until Joe fell asleep. (He always fell asleep first.)  When they changed rooms, I still couldn't keep the two apart. I would always have to chase Kelly back to her room.

Even now that they are older, Kelly and Joe are just as close. Kelly still drags Joe around with her when she wants to talk with him. They still adore each other. When they are together, they talk incessantly. I bust up laughing in hilarity when I hear the two of them talking, because they're always thinking of crazy things and making up voices for the dogs, cats, and other animals. Even though Joe doesn't always go along with Kelly anymore, he's still Kelly's biggest fan.

When Joe was being teased and harassed in seventh grade because of his social anxiety/awkwardness, Kelly would tell Joe what to do or not to do so kids wouldn't tease him. Kelly's social skills were always excellent, and she used this to help Joe. Recently Joe went to his first dance. She gave him pointers...don't just say no (even though you're terrified), always smile at someone who asked you to dance, try to talk about something while you're dancing, say thank you when you're done. She looked out for him, and made sure only nice girls would dance with him. She snapped a photo of him during his first dance and sent it to me on my phone.

I delight in the love these two have for each other. I consider myself to be very lucky because all of my kids just adore each other most of the time. I think Joe has helped Kelly just as much as Kelly has helped Joe. Without Joe, Kelly might not have been able to form close connections with others to the degree that she is able to today. And without Joe's patience with Kelly, she might have spent a LOT more time on time-out. I also think his natural empathy has made Kelly more concerned for others than she might have been without her brother.

It's a love story born in heaven. These two were meant to be each other's strength on this earth. It's such a delight to see them together!

Furry Farewell

We had to say goodbye to our cat Hailey yesterday. We got Hailey when she was about a year old from the Cat House on the Kings. We actually got two cats at that time...Timmy for Joe's 9th birthday and Hailey for Laine's 7th birthday, which were just week apart. The two cats were brother and sister, and were inseparable. When we brought them home, we discovered much to our dismay that the cats had ringworm. We had to lock the kitties up in the bathroom until all signs of it were completely gone, which took about a month. During that month, we also discovered that Hailey had an eating disorder. She would lay by her bowl and eat non-stop if we let her, so we resorted to feeding the cats only once per day.

They used to run around the house playing tag with each other. If the cats were sleeping you could bet that they'd be sleeping next to one another. Hailey was a homebody, but Timmy was a daredevil and would run for the door as soon as it opened. This resulted in Timmy being hit by a car about 3 years ago, and many sad hearts at the Cavanaugh household. Hailey's digestive problems caused her to have stinky diarrhea most of the time, and finally after too long with the cat litter box not being cleaned properly, I finally decided that we needed to let the cats be indoor/outdoor cats and let them do their business outside.

That's when Hailey met her brother from another mother, Roshi...our next door neighbor's cat. She also became enthralled with the children who live next door, who just loved to feed her by hand (we used to call it popping bon-bons).  Hailey took to hanging out at our neighbors' yard with her new best friend Roshi more than at our home. But if it was cold or wet, she would come begging at our door since our neighbors wouldn't let her in. She would also come running if they were on vacation. Food was suddenly accessible all the time to her (we have a cat friendly neighborhood), and she began to rack up the pounds. Soon it became impossible for her to clean herself, and several times when she was filthy, she would work her way to our house to be washed by her happy-to-see-her children owners, who clipped her backside and washed her up.

Laine bemoaned the "loss" of her cat to the neighbors, but knew she could visit her anytime she wanted. And when she came over, she purred and preened for all of us. Then Thursday after about a three month absence, Hailey suddenly showed up at our front door. I bent down to scratch her ears and noticed that she was bleeding a little and smelled atrocious. Upon examination, we discovered that she had a deep circular wound on her upper thigh/buttock area, and it was clearly infected and crawling with maggots. When she walked, she couldn't put weight on her back leg, and her backside was filthy. I cleaned her up a little and decided to see what the new day would bring before making a decision about what to do.

All night and into the morning, she kept crying out. She had made her way into the back yard and was moving from place to place, only about 8 to 10 inches at a time before she would collapse. She was bleeding very profusely, and clearly in a lot of pain. I realized that the situation was beyond help. A friend helped me load her into the car, and I had to take her to the SPCA to be euthanized. I thought my heart would break. I couldn't even speak to the desk clerk because I was so upset. When I told the children, they were all sad, but the saddest of all was little Laine, who had loved her fatty cat with all of her heart.

I told her that now Hailey and Timmy are together again, probably playing tag and sleeping side by side. Poor Roshi is heartbroken and won't stop crying for his friend. I know Hailey's in a much happier place now, but we'll miss our furry family member.