Working mom woes

When a working mother leaves her teenagers unsupervised:

16 year old son: this morning I ate sweet potato casserole for breakfast. For lunch I had sweet potato casserole. And for dinner, I had--you guessed it--sweet potato casserole. It was a good day! Not a productive one, mind you, but a good one.

Holy cow.

18th Birthday

"O be wise; what can I say more?"
Kelly's birthday gift from me.
(Hand-blown glass from Creek Bottom Glass.)

Kelly, my first and oldest "from-my-body" daughter, turned 18 yesterday. I brought her strawberry cream cheese danishes from La Boulangerie in the morning for breakfast (one for each of us, actually). Morgan came over to hang out for a bit, and then I took her and the kids to Skywalk for an afternoon session of bouncing and general madness on the trampolines there. Her friend Leah and her boyfriend joined them there, and so did Erin & Nick, who drove down from Sacramento for the weekend to help Kelly celebrate. (While they were playing, I went to buy groceries, a task I've been putting off for far too long). After I picked up the kids and took them home (except Kelly who went with Morgan & Etc. for a late lunch), I crashed to get rid of the migraine that assaulted me.

The evening was filled with baking cakes, making tacos and hanging out. Leah, Kelly, Erin, Laine and Morgan sat on the floor in the living room and learned the cup song, which was a lot of fun to watch. Everyone was stunned at Laine's beautiful singing voice, which really made her cheeks the most delightful shade of pink. All in all, the day was filled with lots of laughter, giggling, play, and silliness.

And now, I'm putting my seat-belt on for the wild ride ahead of me. I've done all I can to teach her what is right...now she has to decide for herself what she will do with her life. "O be wise; what can I say more?"

Irony

When I was actively looking for a job, I couldn't get anyone to call me. Now that I'm happily working, I've gotten two job offers in the last week. Interesting!

Humbled.

I've been so humbled in the days since Stake Conference at the number of people who have contacted me to tell me that something in my talk touched them. And some of them are people I don't even know!

I know I felt the spirit as I prepared and delivered the talk, but sometimes I wonder if that's just me. It's nice to hear others say that something I said was carried by the spirit to bless them, because that's what I prayed for.

It's just touched my heart.

And I've been blessed to attend the temple twice so far this week (the temple will be closing for a few weeks at the end of September so I'm stocking up on service!), and I've been humbled again by the goodness of the Lord, the abundance of his blessings and his willingness to pour out inspiration and knowledge on me.

Anchored in Faith

Stake Conference Talk September 15, 2013

Good morning! My name is April Cavanaugh. I'm a member of the Van Ness Ward. I’ve been a member of this church for 24 years as of this August. I want to begin by saying what a tremendous blessing the gospel has been in my life. I’m grateful for every aspect of it. While finding and having the gospel in my life has not kept me from experiencing many trials, it has given me a sure compass to follow. Living the gospel was and is a work in progress, but my testimony of it is sure.

But in case you think that the stake presidency invited me to speak because of how amazing I am, I want to reassure you, while I’m trying to do everything I can to live the gospel, as a single mother of five with four ranging in ages from 12 to 18 still at home, I am confronted every day with my shortcomings, weaknesses and failures. And in case I miss any, my children are right there to point them out to me.  Yet I have found great peace in living the gospel, and have become anchored in faith as I have committed to doing so. 

Sometimes people will comment to me about how strong they think I am, and while I appreciate their encouragement, I know in my heart that it is not me that is strong, but the gospel which is strong. In fact, if it weren’t for the gospel, I know I would be a complete mess. Fortunately for us, the Lord doesn’t require our strength, only our willingness to never give up (AKA enduring to the end).

In the Book of Mormon, it relates the tale of the Jews who followed Moses, who were smitten with fiery flying serpents. When they were bitten, they could be healed by following some simple instructions. “and the labor which they had to perform was to look; and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished.” (1 Nephi 17:41) All they had to do was to look upon the symbol that had been prepared for them, and they would not do it. At times I am like the people in this scripture, when I forget to do the simple things of the gospel that we are told will change and sanctify us. Doing prayer, scripture study, choosing the right, serving others, and attending our church meetings consistently, diligently and often, has the power to change us. We learn the foundational simple things of the gospel in primary, but life distracts us from these simple things if we let it.

The truth of the matter is that I am often overwhelmed, not only with my responsibilities as a single mother, but with the difficulties life brings as well. I keep on my desk a silhouette of a person sitting in a boat on the water. The saying underneath says: Dear Lord, be good to me. The sea is so wide and my boat is so small. The image and the saying together remind me to anchor myself in the Lord, and to recognize that one person alone can accomplish very little, but with the Lord’s help, all things are possible.

When I feel overwhelmed, I try to refocus on the little things. According to Elder Bednar: "Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results." For me, this means constant gratitude for my blessings, prayer and scripture study, attending all of my church meetings, attending the temple and obeying the commandments to the best of my ability.  In particular, never missing an opportunity to partake of the sacrament gives me the opportunity to renew my baptismal covenants, be clean once again from my sins, as well as the ability to face another week of challenges.

Gospel knowledge and strong testimonies rarely happen overnight. We learn bit by bit. And once we learn for ourselves what is true, we must follow Elder Holland’s counsel from his conference talk entitled, Lord I Believe. Every time Elder Holland gets up to speak, I almost hold my breath throughout his talk in anticipation of what he will say, because I know it will be great and this talk was no exception. He counsels us to remind ourselves of what we know when we are faced with what we don’t. I quote: “In moments of fear or doubt in troubling times, hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited.” Don’t be afraid because you lack knowledge. Hold fast to every little bit of truth you gain.

We must progress in the gospel. We stand still or regress at our own peril.  Elder Eyring said in his talk entitled Always: “As the forces around us increase in intensity, whatever spiritual strength was once sufficient will not be enough. And whatever growth in spiritual strength we once thought was possible, greater growth will be made available to us. Both the need for spiritual strength and the opportunity to acquire it will increase at rates which we underestimate at our peril.”

“My message is a plea, a warning and a promise: I plead with you to do with determination the simple things that will move you forward spiritually.”

One huge blessing available to all of us in our lives is the temple. Each time I walk up the steps to go inside, my heart is full of gratitude. I am reminded of visiting the site each week as it was being built. I think of my daughter and son, then about 3 and a half and 1 and a half, who are now 18 and 16, turning over a shovelful of dirt at the groundbreaking. I love the temple. Each time I attend, I find it deepens my faith, reconnects me with the things of eternity, gives me the opportunity to serve others, and strengthens me even in the midst of bitter trials. One of my favorite things to do is to attend the temple with my kids as they do baptisms for the dead. The joy in the room is tangible, and it does my heart good to see my children in that holy setting. I have found that when I make the effort to attend once a week or more frequently when I can, that all things run smoother in my life. I am deeply blessed by my service at the temple. 

The temple is one of the best places for me to receive revelation, because the world is shut out. Revelation through the gift of the Holy Spirit is another key to strength in the gospel. We obtain the blessing of the companionship of the spirit through doing the little things I mentioned previously. We strengthen our ability to feel it by becoming familiar with it, acting quickly on what the Lord asks us through the spirit, and making space in our lives to feel its influence. One of the things we tend to do as a society is fill up all the quiet moments with television, radio, internet, music or other distractions. Yet when I intentionally turn off distractions, or have church hymns playing quietly instead of other music, there is both time and space for heartfelt prayer and impressions from the spirit. Some of my most precious moments have come when I have followed the promptings I have received. The Lord has actively worked to transform my life through the revelations he has given me. When I move forward in faith, trusting his word, then I am demonstrating obedience and opening myself to further light.

There are few things I can count on in my life, but one thing I have come to know and trust is that if I am doing what the Lord has asked me to do, I can be sure he will bless me. He asks me to pursue certain paths. This doesn’t guarantee that things will be easy or that I will not have great trials while I obey him. In fact, in some cases, it almost seems to guarantee the opposite. Yet KNOWING that I am doing what he asked gives me confidence that I am exactly where I need to be right now. Some days I pursue the path he has asked me to take with great confidence. On other days, I hesitate and wonder, “Lord? Really?” Nevertheless, I press forward in faith. I take comfort and confidence in the fact that I know he loves me and knows me perfectly.

I know the Lord loves me. I know this because of the blessing of the gospel in my life. I know that every good thing in life comes as a direct result of God’s love for us. He teaches me this daily, and in particular through the beautiful things of this earth. He has seen fit to give me tangible evidences of his love, as well as sacred, profound experiences given when I have prayed and opened my heart to him. One of my former bishops used to tell me that everything around us testifies not just of the Lord’s love for us, but also the atonement, and since then, I have tried to ask myself over and over again, what does this situation teach me about the atonement and about God? While weeding the garden, while observing new growth in a forest ravaged by fire, while watching my dog Abby safeguard a baby bird between her paws…so many lessons around us to teach us about God if only we  let them. This practice has deepened my relationship with my Father in Heaven and has strengthened my testimony. Not only should we let the world testify to us, we should also testify to the world, to ourselves and God, to our families, and to our friends. When we bear testimony, we invite the spirit to be present, because the spirit is always present when truth is spoken.

Another source of peace in our lives is forgiveness. Not only should we seek forgiveness from the Lord, but we should exercise forgiveness and patience with others as we bump up against them in this life. There are no perfect people, even in the church. Forgive others easily, since that is what we desire most from the Lord when we ourselves make mistakes. And know that our weaknesses or the weaknesses of others will not in any way prevent God from accomplishing his purposes. As it says in 1 Corinthians 1:27: “But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty.”  And I loved Elder Holland’s comment: “So be kind regarding human frailty – your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to him, but he deals with it. So should we.”

Another source of strength uniquely available to us as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is a living prophet upon the earth. In a few weeks, we will be able to learn at the feet of the first presidency and the apostles what things the Lord wants us to know. I have learned that when I study the conference talks and act upon what I have been taught, two things happen. First, I gain a sure testimony of the divine calling of these men of God, and secondly, my life is blessed. Actually, I guess there are three things…I have come to love each of them deeply. We can rely upon their guidance, as well as the guidance of our Bishops and stake presidencies. When I am faced with a challenge, I try to seek out counsel offered on that topic from conference talks, and this has been a tremendous source of inspiration and guidance in my life. My recent completion of my bachelor’s degree, my new job and many other blessings in my life have come as I have followed the promptings I received as I studied and prayed about specific talks. In my daily life, I have been blessed with the wise counsel of my Bishop, who has supported and blessed me more than he could possibly know. 

From the same talk by Elder Holland comes this quote: “When those moments come and issues surface, the resolution of which is not immediately forthcoming, hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until additional knowledge comes.” Often that additional knowledge comes as I counsel with my bishop, review conference talks or attend the temple. Sometimes it’s a long time in coming, but I know, I KNOW, that the Lord hears me and will sustain me through my trials.

No doubt trials will come to each of us. I have had my share of trials. I have been let down by others, betrayed by them, and been disappointed by them. Trials beset me even now, and are all around me. The fallen nature of this world we live in tries my patience and often leaves me weary. The world is unpredictable, unfair, and full of pain.  Yet, I try to let even my trials testify to my heart of Christ. There is a Christian musician by the name of Laura Story. Whenever I hear her song, Blessings, I am moved to tears because it reminds me of the way that trials can bring us to Christ and strengthen our testimonies. The chorus says, “Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise.”

Who among us hasn’t experienced those sleepless nights? When we finally turn to the Lord and our soul finds peace, we are deeply blessed. But it is when we learn to turn to him first that we have truly learned that he is as near as a whisper. I have been blessed to learn again and again that prayer, heartfelt and sincere, is truly a gift from God. And our trials, however hard they are to bear, can turn our hearts to the Lord and bind us to him in love.

Later the song says, “When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home.”

While we live upon this earth, in the thick of earthly things, this is not our home. Our home is with our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ, and with our families who have been sealed to us through temple covenants. When we are anchored in faith, and let the world around us testify of the atonement, we are anchored in the things of eternity. Build our lives around the one sure foundation. Hold fast to the true and living gospel of Jesus Christ. In this there is safety, strength and peace.

I would like to conclude with the words to one of my favorite hymns, Lead Kindly Light. “Lead kindly light, amid the encircling gloom. Lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home. Lead thou me on! Keep thou my feet…I do not ask to see the distant scene. One step enough for me.”

Step forward in faith. Lean on the one sure rock of our faith, Jesus Christ. Trust that this gospel is his work and can transform even the most rebellious of souls. I know this because he is transforming me. In a world where everything changes, he is unchangeable, constant and never varies from that which is right. He does not require our strength…he has enough strength for us all. He requires our obedience, and if we never give up, he will lead us step by step through the darkest of nights into the brilliant light of celestial glory.

Running Away

A little gift shop and studio in Three Rivers. We
loved the architecture.

Behind the studio was this little treasure...

   I decided to have Kelly practice her driving today by helping me to escape from Fresno.
   We headed out first to Valley Animal Center where we were tempted by many adorable dogs and puppies, but we successfully resisted all cuteness and pleas for a new home.
   Then I decided to head out to Three Rivers, where there was supposed to be an Art Festival today until 5 pm. So Kelly took us on Highway 99 to Highway 198 and out toward the little town of Three Rivers.
    I had forgotten how large the Sierra Nevadas are, and today reminded me. Because of the air conditions here in the valley, I don't get to see them much, but as we drove out, they kept getting clearer and clearer, and I was shocked at how tall they seemed.
   We listened to Kelly's choice of music as we drove along. Soon the fairly straight road turned curvy and the surroundings became more interesting. Guided by the GPS in my phone, we continued past big oaks, brush, and hills of various sizes.
   We arrived into the town, but could find no festivals, or signs of festivals, anywhere. We did however stop at a few shops and studios.

I loved the rocks. I wonder what it looks like when the
rivers are really flowing?

A little stand of trees.

Part of a bench that caught my eye.

I loved this glass piece.

Art everywhere we looked!

This path kept calling my name.
I resisted only because I was in sandals.

A real Art Kitty.

Don't you just love this tree's branches?

No wonder people live in Three Rivers...look at that view!

Gorgeous!

More, more and MORE therapy!

Johnny with a rare smile captured on
camera. And look at all those grapes he harvested!

Laine harvesting her first bunch
of grapes this year!

 We spent our Wednesday evening harvesting grapes for our church's welfare vineyard. Each ward is assigned several rows, and the rows are LONG!! All of the grapes harvested here are used to make raisins for the humanitarian efforts of the church worldwide. They also make an appearance at Bishop's storehouses across the nation to feed hungry members of our church.

A picture of the fruits of our labors.
It was a small crop this year.

Give a teenage boy a knife and this is what happens.
Sheesh. Boys!

   It was 96 degrees when we arrived, and I wasn't sure I could do much. I have a very physical job and when I arrived home, I was exhausted. I had to close my eyes for what was supposed to be 15 minutes but turned into half an hour. I woke up, got dressed in my grubbies and collected the children and headed off to the vineyard. I have to admit, even though I wanted to do my part, spending a couple of hours in the heat doing so as tired and dehydrated as I have been sure didn't seem like it should be number one on my list. Nevertheless, I set out to be a good example for my children and do it whether I wanted to or not. As it turned out, we all had fun (except for the part where I cut myself while trying to pry/cut grapes from the wires!) and the weather cooled off dramatically as the evening progressed.

More messing around for the photo. Of course, I never let
them behave this way normally. But if I wanted a
photo, a compromise had to be made.

   We have some rows to finish, so it's likely that we will be at the vineyard again on Saturday morning. But if we are finished by then, I plan on attending the temple again! Serving others is the best kind of therapy. I know I'm doing something meaningful, and I can feel good about how I've spent my time, without any regrets at all.
   And best of all, I know that my family is blessed every time we do service for others!

More Therapy

Borrowed from the LDS.org Website
© 2006, Mark Gudmundsen.

Therapy

Two days of therapy following my miserable week yielded this beautiful sight:

It's what I do when I feel like everything is out of control...take a task that I can actually finish and get to it.

And just in case you think this was a small feat, let me assure you...it produced 30 pounds of recycling, 22 pounds of trash, and another five pounds of paper that needs to be shredded. Most of it was paper that had to individually examined and decided upon.

It was therapy on two fronts...restoring my sense of control, and severing ties to painful things in my past. I still have to work on the filing cabinets, which I'll tackle this week. In the meantime, the kids are fighting over who gets to use my desk first. :)

And yes, this is the same room which has the (now) lovely closet!

College Life

Kelly started at Fresno City College on the 12th. I'm very excited for her new adventure, because I know that college life is very different from high school. In this picture, she's getting ready to go to work at the bridal salon where she does inventory and other responsibilities. As you can see, the cell phone is still an incredibly important part of academic life. :) I forgot to mention that her mode of transportation is either city bus or boyfriend.

First Day of School

And we're off! The 2013 school year began this Monday. Joe is a junior at Bullard High. Laine just began her freshman year at Bullard High, and Johnny is a seventh grader at Tenaya. All three children are driving themselves back and forth to school on their bikes. For Laine and Joe, it's not too bad...just a mile and a half each way. For Johnny, though, it's a 2.5 mile one way trip, and he has to travel on a busy street for a portion of the way. It makes me very anxious, but it's a necessary thing. They need to be able to be more independent since I'm working days and can't pick any of them up.

They're all looking forward to a busy and productive school year, and I'm looking forward to a little less damage to the house while I'm gone all day. :)

After Photos

 We did it!

Thanks to the able assistance of Christin and Heather, we were able to slay the monsters in my closet and restore order.

I couldn't bring myself to post any before photos, because, well...it was ugly.

There were boxes and boxes of papers that needed to be shredded. There were games and school supplies on the floor. There was laundry. Lots of things that shouldn't have been in my closet somehow came to consume my closet.

Look at it now!

We were only able to accomplish this work of art because Heather and Christin were patient and determined and spent a few hours with me while I sorted through things that they drug out of the closet. The hardest part was all the paper...items that each needed an individual decision about what to do with them. (And I still have a ton more paperwork to sort through on my desk! I'm doing that 15 minutes each day until it is done.)

I can now access my workout equipment, my craft supplies, the school supplies and all of my stamping collection.

I love it. I keep going in there and getting startled by how nice it is. I feel like I could live in my closet now!!

  

Monsters in the Closet

There are monsters in my closet. They are spilling out of boxes. They are falling off of shelves and hangers. They are lying on the floor. Life is full of messes, and my closet is one big mess.

That's going to change.

Two of my friends are coming over and helping me to tame the beasts. After that, no children allowed in my closet without my knowledge and permission. (Can you hear the "Yeah, right!" from your house?)

(sigh)

In a way, the closet (and my desk area) are reflective of my life at the moment...crammed so full, you almost can't fit anything else in. Indicative of a crazy schedule, too little sleep and the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Full of things that need to be drug out into the light, dealt with and decided upon. Purging, trashing and donating in massive quantities are the order of the day, in all areas of my life.

Let it begin!

Called to Love

We have a few residents who will be passing away soon, and I've been thinking about what this calling means, to serve the elderly. Of course, in my many years of working with seniors, I've experienced a lot of loss. Some people ask me how I can stand to work with an age group that is so close to death. They ask, "Have you gotten used to it? Does it get easier?"

My answer is complicated. No surprise, right? Nothing is ever as straightforward as it seems. I fall in love with most of our elderly clients. A few just plain sweep me off of my feet. I feel called to love and serve these people with all of my heart, and it's easy for me to do just that. For as long as they are with me, whether that is days or weeks or months or years, I will do my very best to love them and meet their needs. It feels natural and is clearly a part of who I am as a person.

Of course, in my mind always is the knowledge that death is imminent for all of them. Well, really for all of us, right? But for our seniors, it seems closer and more real to most of the world. Truthfully, it never gets any easier to see families and individuals go through the pain and sorrow of physical death and saying their earthly goodbyes. My heart aches for them. I miss people when they die. (I still can't do my morning announcements or lead my exercise class without thinking of one of the most wonderful ladies I have ever met.)

Fortunately, though, I am blessed to know that all of this here on earth is part of God's plan for us. His plan of happiness contains a lot of sorrows, and earthly death is part of that sorrow. The sorrows and pains of this world are here as a result of this mortal sphere, and are tools God uses to refine us and make us better than we ever believed we could be. He created this world and placed us here to exercise our agency, to learn and to grow. Every part of this plan from his perspective is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." In other words, to overcome sin and death so that all of us - his children - may live with him again in glory. If I look at death as a doorway (in the same way that birth is a doorway), and if I truly know who waits on the other side of that door, then death loses some of its sting and I can rejoice spiritually in the crossing of a soul, even as my mortal mind and heart mourn at the loss of these new (old) friends.

I think it's a bit like foster-parenting. I have the privilege of loving and caring for these individuals who may or may not have a support system. I provide physical, emotional, social and spiritual care while they are entrusted to me. Most of them like me or love me, and some of them tolerate me. I know going in to the deal that it's for a short time. Some of the people (many, in fact) have health issues that make caring for them a challenge at times, but under all of that is a person, with the richness and the layers of life clinging to them.

When death comes, it is an occasion with many attributes. Sorrow for the family and for myself. Relief for the individual who no longer suffers pain. Joy for the soul gone on to reunite with family and with God and our Savior. Knowledge that death is a doorway through which our physical bodies cannot fit. Excitement that this person I love gets to know and experience the truthfulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Confidence that every person will be resurrected and receive a perfected and glorified physical form. Peace that permeates my soul and lifts me as I go about the business of loving and caring for the next senior entrusted to my care.

For some, home is a place with walls and a roof where their family lives. For me, home is serving others. It is the place I feel most useful, most like myself, most like the person my Father in Heaven wants me to be, and it is the place where I am prepared to enter my Heavenly home. This place of serving my elderly friends, this place of transition and joy and sorrow...this is my home. No, it's not easy to say goodbye, and no, death doesn't get any easier. In fact, there are days when it seems more than I can bear. But then God through his Holy Spirit reminds me and cradles me, and I feel at peace. This is my calling...a calling of love. And with God, all things are possible.

Welcome back! Goodbye!

This afternoon Joseph and Laine returned from youth conference in Cambria. They apparently had a good time, if sun kissed faces are any indication. According to Joe, the dance at the beach was awesome, and he spent the whole time dancing. No surprise there! He also apparently danced with his younger sister, which I find to be really sweet.

This was Laine's first youth conference and she also had a great time. She was fairly happy and excited, and she enjoyed the dance, too.

My poor kids...I dragged them to Sacramento last Thursday evening. We returned late on Sunday evening. Joe and Laine packed up and went to Cambria early Monday morning and returned this afternoon, and this evening, I will be bringing them back to their dad's house where they will be getting on a train in the morning and heading to Sacramento again. It's been non-stop traveling for Laine and Joe!

Kelly didn't go to youth conference this year. She thinks she's too old, and of course, she doesn't want to miss any possible moment she can spend with her boyfriend. She won't be going back to Sacramento either, because she's stressing out about college starting next week and she feels overwhelmed. Fortunately, after 11 straight days of working, I will have Friday off and I am going to help her get things in order so she can be more at peace.

Life is full and busy here! Now if only I can get my laundry and kitchen under control!! Which I have absolutely NO desire to do. (sigh) Maybe after I drop the kids off at their dad's house...

Entrenched

One of the things I love about working with the elderly - have always loved about working with the elderly - is the glimpse into the hearts of families and individuals that it can offer.

When a family member seeks me out to share a story, ask for insight, or just to hear some reassurance, I am reminded of the hearts that are bound together through sorrow, joy and the tedium of life. And sometimes, I am granted the privilege of more than just a glimpse. I observe with a full heart the tenderness of a man with Alzheimer's who cannot remember much but surely remembers his wife as he gently takes her fussing, careworn fingers in his hand to kiss and caress and then hold her hand in his. I can't help but smile at a daughter who comes faithfully throughout the week as she tends to her father, and finishes her visits by looking him squarely in the face, telling him how much she loves him and showering his head with kisses.

I witness families gathering, celebrating the 98th, the 100th, the 101st birthdays of their loved ones, and taking joy in making memories together. I have been deeply privileged to serve families as they sit by the bedside of their loved ones as they prepare to depart this world. I am bound to these families in a deep and profound way.

And then there are those individuals who have little or no family to support them. Throughout my time working with seniors, these are the ones my heart can't resist. Yes, even the cranky, crotchety ones. I find joy and meaning in helping even those who are difficult to love.

At times like these, I feel my calling to work with, serve and love families and seniors as a tangible and valuable part of my role on earth. These moments exemplify the commandment to love one another, and they touch me deeply.

I am so grateful for the richness my life has been blessed with. I may not be wealthy in terms of money, but my bounty is overflowing with the blessings of service, and I am most grateful for it!

Educational Opportunities Abound

This week on Thursday, the kids and I packed up the car and drove to Sacramento. Actually, Kelly drove the whole way there (and back!) as part of her driver's education. She did a great job. The one incident that happened wasn't really her fault...there was part of a tire in our lane and she had no choice but to run over it. It beat up the guard under the front bumper and now I have a big plastic-y thing hanging down and dragging when I drive. If she had tried to avoid it, we would have had an accident, so she did the right thing.

I was signed up to take a class for my work to get certified as an activity leader. It was a three day course, beginning on Friday and continuing through Saturday and Sunday. While I enjoyed the class, I had forgotten how much I hate sitting still until I was forced to do it for three days straight. Ugh! And this was the first time for many, many years that I didn't get to go to church. I was very sad to miss sacrament, but Nick asked his bishop if he and Joe could administer the sacrament to me at home after my class, and he gave his approval. So right there, in Nick and Erin's little apartment, they blessed the sacrament, and my son Johnny passed it to me. I couldn't help shedding a few tears of happiness at this wonderful bit of grace!

I learned a lot of little details about being an activity director that will help me tremendously in my job, and I walked away with about 25 ideas from others about projects that can be done as part of our activity program. Some of them are great, some are near duplicates of what we already do, and others are mediocre. Nevertheless, any planning I don't have to do is welcome!!

I also signed up for two classes at Fresno City College...art classes! Since one of the types of therapy I am interested in doing is art therapy, I wanted to take some classes to help me along. I'm very excited! The classes will meet four nights a week, and even though I really want to take the classes, I'm already having anxiety about things like interrupting my temple schedule and how much gas it will take to get there. So we'll see if I stick it out!

FHE

Great family home evening tonight...the BBQ chicken tacos were a big hit (especially when accompanied by more garden fresh salsa!), then we ate ice cream and used Emily Christensen's writings on Jacob 5 to illuminate the first section of that very long chapter. Afterward we played a game on Kelly's iPhone (which for the record she paid for, not me!) called Heads Up and had a blast. Oh, and I forgot the sparkler fun in the driveway. 

Tough Love

My youngest daughter made an error in judgement that has resulted in a lot of tears on both of our parts. While communicating with a friend on Minecraft (a multiplayer on-line game) she gave him her personal cell phone number. Mind you, she has been admonished many, many times not to give out personal info, but justified it because she has played with him and talked with him through the game so many times.

I only just discovered it recently when I started to notice how secretive she was being with her phone, and how suddenly she carried it with her all the time. While at dinner Thursday, I had the distinct impression to ask her for her phone. When I took the phone and looked at the messages, I about died of a heart-attack. Messages from this supposedly 14 year old boy who theoretically lives in Baltimore, MD were filled with the "F" word and very graphic in nature. Hers in response were not. I told her I was shocked. She told me she really liked him, and according to his messages, he "f-ing" loved her. I asked her how she felt about his language and messages, and she told me he wants to change and be better. I asked her if she wanted to discontinue the relationship or if she wanted me to. She said she would deal with it.

Later that night, texts were still being exchanged back and forth, and I knew I would have to take action. After consulting with her father, we decided to change her phone number, block this young man from making contact on her phone, and temporarily block ALL messaging.

Needless to say this did not make me very popular with my sweet girl. She was FURIOUS. She refused to talk to me when I picked her up from her dad's house, and refused to go to church with me. She used the fact that Kelly refuses to go to support her argument, a fact which pained me to my core. I insisted that she go, knowing that the spirit at church could help her see reason. And sure enough, by the end of church, she was feeling better, but still not back to normal.

My heart was so heavy this morning. As a single parent, I am frequently confronted with my own inadequacies and failures, and this incident, combined with Kelly's complete lack of regard for anything spiritual, and all the stresses of parenting during summer vacation when the kids are home and I am not, lead me to a place of deep sadness. For a while, I was inconsolable. Church made me feel better, as it always does, but I am struggling with how to turn the ship around and keep our family heading in a positive direction.

Let's face it, if I get to the Celestial Kingdom (and that's a big IF), and my kids aren't there with me, I won't want to stay. Period. Everything I have done and do on a daily basis is focused on helping them grow up with faith and strength of character to sustain them so that we can all be together for ever.

Sometimes love is so tough, on so many fronts.

The slamming of a door

There are few things more expressive than the sound of slamming doors. Sometimes, it's the quick push of the door when hot children are dashing to be the first in the pool. Other times, it's the forceful explosion of anger between siblings too frustrated to communicate any other way. There's the quick flick of the door that indicates a desire for privacy. And there's the house rattling slam that follows an all out fight.

I used the slamming of doors when I was young only rarely. I knew what kind of consequence might and often did follow that kind of demonstration. Instead, I would merely envision slamming the door in great detail in my mind's eye, often including details like someone getting a rather severe nosebleed from close contact with my fearsome door slamming skills.

As it turned out, I became quite the door slammer with those around me. Purely figuratively speaking of course. Having been blessed with the gift of loving others easily, and even loving others too much, I was too vulnerable. And I experienced all too often that those I loved had great power to hurt me in every possible way. It was a defense mechanism I employed when I felt that someone was getting a little too close, that I had let my boundaries slip a little too far. It protected me from letting others see how afraid, sad, vulnerable and broken I was.

Sad to say, but I haven't outgrown this tendency. I look at someone's behavior and see a threat of harm and WHAM! There goes the door. In an unguarded moment, I realize I love someone who may not love me back and with a quick flip of my mental wrist, I hide behind my slammed door. I let someone know details about me and my life that I still haven't become comfortable with, and there's a high probability that the door will close hard and fast.

On the surface at least, I still love and interact and tease. But the walls are up and the door is firmly closed, perhaps even locked. I've tried with all my might to overcome this tendency. I have prayed about it often. In fact, the Lord has made it clear to me from time to time that I must trust and allow certain others into the grimy corners of my heart and soul. Sometimes these make sense to me...like my counselor, doctor, bishops, visiting teachers, and so forth. With these individuals, I find myself disclosing what I must and watching for the first signs of danger, even when I know they have proven themselves trustworthy in the past.

There are others though that I feel directed to share things with that I don't understand. When I am rebuffed or hurt by these individuals, and the Lord continues to encourage me to be vulnerable, I feel panic stricken. I try to be obedient. I try to put my trust in him instead of in people, who nearly always let me down. I beg him to help me see these individuals as he sees them so that I can take courage. And he HAS blessed me with the ability to see the potential of people, a blessing that has proven to be both a blessing as well as a curse.

Suffice it to say that I find myself trying to decide whether or not to slam a few doors. At a time when I am feeling extra lonely (it has been 9 years of being alone!), and when my emotions are being stirred up everyday by the growing pangs of my family and my work, I find the absence of people in my life to be a stark reminder of exactly how isolating the slamming of doors can be.

Two bits of sad news

I'm feeling a little sad on this Thursday night. Today when I arrived at work, I was told a senior gentleman who I had become close to had passed away. I was relieved that he was no longer suffering, and happy that he's on the other side of mortality, but so sad, too. He was one of those people that I had instantly hit it off with. He jokingly called me Cavanaugh every time he saw me, and always had wonderful things to say. I visited with him every chance I could, basking in his sense of humor, his kindness and his warmth. I met several of his wonderful adult children and I introduced mine to him. When he met my children, he told them such wonderful things about me and made me blush with his comments. I will surely miss his wit and his outstretched hands.

I also learned today that a young girl, the niece of a friend of mine, who has been battling cancer was today declared terminal. They will be trying one last round of treatment, but are now facing the hard reality of saying goodbye.

I'll be saying some extra prayers for these families who are experiencing grief and pain. :(

Day's Events

Because of my travel earlier this week, I was asked to take Friday off and work Saturday instead. I planned a very busy day!

First, I took Laine to summer school, then went visiting teaching. After visiting teaching I went to the temple. Unfortunately, I couldn't go twice this week as I have been trying to do because I was gone on Tuesday, but the temple session was wonderful. I then picked up Kelly from home and gave her some driving practice as I  did some shopping for my work. After the shopping was complete, we picked up Laine from school, had lunch at Del Taco, and headed over to a friend's house where the girls and I were able to do some service (and I got to hold a three week old baby!).

Afterwards, we drove home and Laine got ready to go to her dad's house. I worked on a few projects, did some reading and slept through the sweltering heat until almost 11, when Kelly and I decided we'd had enough of the heat and went out for ice cream. And yes, we ate it right before we went back to sleep. (No judging.)

All in all, a very productive day!

Joe's Birthday

My first born son is now 16.

How did that happen?

6 foot 2, eyes of blue, intelligent, sharp-witted, obedient, tender and patient. All this joy from a squirming 9 pound, 13 ounce child!

I've been thinking about him leaving on his mission in a few short years while he has been at scout camp this week. One week is hard! I can't even imagine being without him for two long years. It makes me desolate to contemplate it. I'm sure the Lord will bless me with the fortitude to manage without his hugs, his funny comments, and his helpful nature, but from my perspective right now, it seems darn near impossible. Nevertheless, I know he will serve. I've known since his early days. Above all his other qualities, he is always trying to do what is right.

I'm so glad to be his mother! 

Work Travel

On Monday, I was up at 3 a.m. to take the boys to the departure point for camp. I then took Laine to summer school and worked for half a day. In the early afternoon, I left for San Rafael for additional training regarding refining the staff's approach to care at Nazareth House. I was very excited to meet key people at each of the Nazareth Houses in California (San Diego, San Rafael, Los Angeles, and of course, Fresno). I had met the folks from San Diego previously, and was so happy to renew my acquaintance with Michelle, the activity director there. The entire crew spent two very productive days together brainstorming, learning and sharing. I was very honored to be invited to sleep in the convent, which was peaceful and wonderful. And without internet, it was perfect to turn into a little mini-retreat, allowing me even more time to study and think about spiritual things as well as the material we were learning. We returned on Wednesday evening to the oppressive Fresno heat and a return to reality!

Man of Steel

Laine and I went to see Man of Steel in the expensive theater. Usually we wait to see movies in the $3 theater, but we wanted to do something a little special.

We both loved the movie! I had a hard time letting go of "past superman" at first, but once I just accepted that this wasn't going to match what I "knew" of superman, then I was fine and really enjoyed it.

Thoughts on the atonement

I've been thinking about some comments I received regarding the man who stole my retirement money. It's caused me to ponder forgiveness and the atonement again.

I look at it this way. Yes, the man did wrong. Yes, he should be held accountable (forgiveness and accountability are not the same thing). Yes, losing the money hurt me tremendously financially speaking. However, there is a BIG caveat.

When I accepted Jesus' atonement in my life, I also accepted that his atonement is active in the lives of others. When Jesus died for our sins, he died for ALL of them...the ones that are repented of and the ones that aren't. He paid the price for every sin...made an infinite atonement. This transfers the burdens of all the sins that others commit against us onto the shoulders of our Savior. So in this case, when I forgive the man who stole my retirement, I am really "forgiving" Jesus...who, though he did no wrong, already paid the full price of this man's sin. It's hard to forgive a man who steals my savings and that of many of my friends, who transfers all of his assets to his wife, divorces her, declares bankruptcy and runs off to Panama to play with his ill-gotten gains. But my Savior, who died for me, comforts me, and teaches me daily about his grace...toward him, I can hold no ill will. And he is the Mediator between me and those who sin against me.

It is hard to remember these principles at times. I'm only human, and I struggle from time to time to forgive others. But because I am constantly needing his forgiveness, I am often reminded that the atonement is there not just for me, but for others. And that makes all the difference.

Financial News

Well, the man who stole $25,000 of my retirement savings is going to jail for 6 years, 6 months and will be under "supervised release" for another 3. He has been ordered to make restitution for the $3.3 million he stole from us and other investors. Yeah, right. Like that will ever happen.

My chili was a flop - literally. :)

Yesterday on my way to a party with a big bowl of chili in the backseat, traffic came to a very sudden stop thanks to one idiotic driver. I had to step pretty hard on the brakes to avoid an accident (along with about twenty other drivers), and the chili flopped onto my floor. What a mess!

Later in the evening, I stopped at a gas station and cleaned off the floor mat while getting gas, and I could tell others around me thought it was vomit by their reactions (groaning, grimacing, etc). 

As I was relaying this story to my almost 16 year old son this morning, he said, "Mom, you should have dipped your finger in the chili and licked it in front of them!"

I haven't been able to stop laughing since. Why didn't I think of that?

Sierra Chamber Opera

We had the Sierra Chamber Opera come and present a short opera for our residents at work today. It was so much fun putting it all together and seeing the residents experience so much happiness. The food was a great hit. Everyone who attended was very complimentary. I couldn't have been as successful without the great family volunteers who came, and Rosemary and Sara who pitched in to make it extra special. Anoline put together a great menu that the residents loved. All in all a very satisfying day!

Driving Miss Kelly

Or rather, Miss Kelly driving! She finally has her official permit, and now...(insert drumroll) she is driving us everywhere!

I want her to have a TON of driving experience before she gets her own license. She is loving running errands with me now. Can I just say that I'm loving it, too? For too long now, shopping, which I hate with a passion, was grueling because I had to go all by myself. Now, I have a willing driver! And it's too hot for her to stay in the car, so she actually comes in with me. And since she hit that cool teenager phase, hanging out with mom (and/or siblings) is not preferable to most other options. So I'm squeezing every little blessing I can out of this experience!

Saturday was her first day of driving with me. She is doing a great job! Of course, I'm stricken with panic from time to time, but I just try to remember what it was like learning to drive and how much I appreciated people who were patient and kind as I was learning.

The kids aren't taking it as well. This morning, on the way to church, Kelly asked if she could drive. I said, "Sure." Joe asked quickly, "Can I walk?" We all laughed, but there is a certain element of responsibility that comes with driving passengers and I want her to learn that as soon as possible.

These Moments

Tonight was Laine's final concert for the Bullard TALENT concert band. We listened to some wonderful songs which were beautiful (and surprisingly spiritual for a public school choir) and I thought back to watching her in the Bullard Balladeers when she was in fourth grade.

After their beautiful songs, while her older brother sat by me doing his pre-calculus homework, we were tortured with almost thirty minutes of video from the choir's Philadelphia trip, which Laine did not go to. (Every year we have to sit through that! Urgh! Even when Laine DID go on those trips, I hated being forced to watch those dumb videos.)

Then the Bullard Balladeers performed and did such a wonderful job that I immediately felt better.

It's a bitter-sweet time, these last days of eighth grade at Bullard Talent. I've had at least one child there since 2007, so it's been a while! When Laine is promoted and heads off to Bullard High School, I will have only one child left to cross the threshold into high school.

Why don't my kids ever listen when I tell them to quit growing up so fast??

Lessons in Humility

"I thought I was all alone," she said as she grasped my hand and kissed it. Her next words were as mixed up and confused as they are 90% of the time. Then, with her eyes closed, my hand pressed to her heart, and with great reverence as I sat next to her, this: "Oh, God, last night when I was alone in my room and I prayed for someone so I would not be lonely and afraid, you heard me." I must admit, I teared up. Not because of her kind sentiments about me, but because this sweet lady, who sometimes couldn't remember what to do with a fork or the word for the bathroom, still remembered how to pray.

I'm fairly sure that God translated her words for my benefit. And in my heart of hearts, I too offered a prayer. Please, Father, if I ever get dementia, please let me never forget how to pray. Even if I forget all the names of all my children, or my own name, or even how to form sentences, please help me remember thee.

And right now, please bless my efforts to be the best friend I can to any and all who need me.

Peace, Prayers and Precious Moments

I had the pleasure of visiting the temple this evening. When I first got off of work, I debated about going because I was tired and didn't want to fall asleep in the temple. I squashed all the worldly objections my mind was raising, and committed to going anyway, stopping to get Del Taco on the way home so that I could cross food off my list of objections. At home, I was preoccupied doing some planning for tomorrow and answering emails, but I managed to change, eat and get on my way in plenty of time. Along the way, however, traffic was difficult, and to make matters worse, there were emergency vehicles heading in the same direction as me, causing even more traffic delays. I walked in just a few minutes before the session was to start, and changed quickly.

There were quite a few people from our ward there, which delighted me. As I sat there, I pondered for a few moments, but noticed my mind was unfocused and still distracted by the busy-ness of the day and all the concerns I have for various situations. I closed my eyes and tried to focus my attention on my breathing and on the peace of the temple, and it really helped. As the session progressed, I finally felt my mind and heart fill with peace, and I could pray in earnest.

Toward the end of my time at the temple, my bishop did a kindness for me that really touched my heart, and because of that kindness, I felt the spirit very strongly and an abiding peace that filled my soul. It was truly a precious moment that I shall not forget. The temple is a place of refuge and strength for me. It is one of the ways that the Lord can speak to me and quiet my worries. I'm so grateful for it, and for the beauty of it. It teaches me about consecration and duty, and helps me feel the Lord's love more abundantly in my life so that I can share it with others throughout my days of working with others. I'm so very thankful!

Birthday Weekend

I celebrated my birthday this weekend. We were lucky enough to have Erin and Nick in town for Nick's sister's wedding, so they were able to be here and attend church with us on Sunday morning. On Saturday, the kids mowed the lawns and tidied up the yard a bit, so that was a HUGE gift to me. (I don't have to be depressed anymore when looking out of the windows!) I received a meyer lemon tree, which my former husband Patrick planted for me along with a fig tree that I had yet to plant. During the day on Saturday, I happened to glance outside and noticed a hummingbird on my porch, right outside the window, hovering there for a few minutes. I consider that one of many gifts from my Heavenly Father. I also received a gift card for Chipotle and CHOCOLATE...how can any birthday be bad when it involves lemons, hummingbirds, chipotle and chocolate? (Especially Lindoor Truffles.)

Sunday was kind of a lazy day, for which I was grateful. The kids played Settlers of Catan and taught Nick how to play, and now he has a new favorite game! We had scrambled eggs and waffles with strawberry topping for dinner.

On Memorial Day, the kids of course had no school, but I had to work. Fortunately, Erin and Nick were able to be home to keep the kids occupied. When I returned from work, we cleaned up a bit, and I prepared ribs, rice pilaf (a ton...three bags to freeze for later use!), corn on the cob and lemonade. I also made myself a birthday cake...lemon with lemon frosting. Are we noticing a theme here?? LOL

On Monday, Erin & Nick surprised me with new non-stick frying pans. I guess they noticed that my small and medium frying pans were old and icky. I used them to fry eggs this morning!

I feel very blessed to have my children, good health and many wonderful intangible things in my life. Here's to another good year!

I love to see the temple!

Since the temple has re-opened, I have been trying to get to the temple weekly. So far so good. I went with Michele (Millicent's mom) the first week, and last week I went with Melanie.

When I drive to the temple, I think of what it was like to hear about the temple coming to Fresno. From the first moment I heard that the church was building small temples, the spirit whispered that we would have one here and to prepare. Yet when they announced it, I was overcome with joy. Seeing the temple on the beautiful grounds, I remember taking my children to the groundbreaking. Kelly and Joe helped turn over a shovel full of dirt that day, and I was pregnant with Laine. We drove by the temple site nearly every week after church to see the progress they made.

I still remember the dedication of the temple, and seeing President Hinckley live, in person made my heart swell with testimony. Attending the temple now, I think about all the worries, concerns and heartbreaks I have brought to The Lord and turned over to him there. I consider things of eternity. I pray for my friends who are grieving or sick or who have other troubles. I ponder what it will be like in a few short weeks to be with all four of my children in the temple. I consider the sacred things that have happened or been revealed to me here, and I feel so very blessed.

The First Days

I've been in training at my new job, and enjoying every minute of it! I feel so blessed to be working, and even my kids can tell. Kelly asked me, "Does it feel good to say that you can't answer your phone because you're working?" And Laine said, "It must feel good to be earning money again!"

I keep thinking, I'm going to get paid to do this? Paid to love people, nurture them in every way I can, and keep busy doing good? I almost feel guilty for taking money to do what I love doing anyway. Almost.

There are a hundred residents at Nazareth House. There are about 75 employees. So basically, I have to learn 175 names/faces in addition to trying to learn all of my regular responsibilities. I need to learn each resident's particular needs/likes, as well as their unique situation. I conduct one or two morning and afternoon activities personally, oversee the activities of each of the assistants who help with activities, and also arrange  staff activities and in-services (training) for them.

I get to work with a lady I really like and admire. She is one of those people who never asks anyone to do anything she wouldn't do herself, and no job is beneath her at Nazareth House.

I think I'm in love. :)

Hiking Photos

One of the beautiful wildflowers.

My friend Keith and I like to hike occasionally. On Saturday we decided to hike up the San Joaquin River Trail beginning at Sky Harbor. I appreciated having a companion since I don't like hiking alone, and Keith puts up with me going slow, stopping to examine the view, panting my way up hills and exclaiming over every wildflower. He's a good friend, or more like a brother to me.

Aren't these poppies beautiful?

I couldn't resist this tree. It reminds me of me.
All beat up by life, but still going strong!

An image from across Millerton Lake. This might be my dream home.
Far from everyone, peaceful and no one is coming over to
my house asking me why I don't tend to my yard.

Look at this vista! This is further up the trail, and after hiking uphill for what
seemed like forever. It was worth it, though.

Another view along our trail. It just takes my breath away.
And not just because I'm so out of shape!

A close up of a lovely poppy.
These flowers make me happy!

I liked this geological structure. Neat!

Looking back over my shoulder along the trail, this is what I saw.

This is a day-use area that costs $10 to park. There are bathrooms
here to begin and end the hike. We didn't park here. We parked
up yet another hill. (Oh, my aching legs!)

Millerton Lake at the starting/ending point.

Heart Full of Gratitude!

I received word today that I FINALLY have a job!!

Let me pause to explain, for those who haven't been job searching lately, that it's very hard to find employment in the current economy. I know highly qualified amazing people who have been looking for work for two years, so the fact that I was able to find work in three months is a miracle straight from my Father in Heaven. It is evidence that his promises are sure.

Very humbling indeed.

Quitting my job at New York Life was a leap of faith. Trying to go back to school to get my bachelor's degree was another leap that began with frustration (not being able to get in at first, not being able to get classes) and ended with a shower of blessings (finishing in two years, with highest honors). Taking the Lord at his word that I should not work but be a full-time parent and student required immense financial discipline and trusting his promise that after I was done with my degree that I would be able to find work quickly enough to stave off losing my home and being out on the street with my kids, even in the face of the horrifying state of the economy, took more courage and faith than I thought I possessed at times.

And the true trial came after I finished my degree and began my quest for employment in earnest. I was led about which services to utilize to find employment. I was taught to accept help from others (admittedly, I'm still not good at this. I've been independent since I was about 16 and I've seldom relied on others for anything.) I applied at nearly every job I could find, but prayed mightily to find a job that would allow me to serve others and yet meet my financial needs.

And the Lord keeps his promises! I will begin work at the Nazareth House on April 4, 2013! Full time, with benefits (after 90 days), as an activity director, serving about 100 senior residents at all levels of care. I can't begin to say how humbled and grateful I am. For some tender stirrings of the soul, there are no words. I feel loved beyond my ability to express it or believe it.

Priesthood Power!

On March 7th, Johnny turned 12 years old. It's a huge deal for boys in our church, because that is when they first receive the priesthood. Boys from age 12 until age 14 are ordained as deacons. Deacons pass the sacrament in church and assist other priesthood holders and the Bishop as needed. In order to receive the priesthood, young men must be interviewed by the Bishop, who determines whether or not they are keeping the commandments, living righteously, and are otherwise eligible to receive the priesthood. They are then interviewed every six months by the Bishop, or as needed, to check how they are doing and receive guidance as deemed necessary.

There are two priesthoods in the church: the Aaronic (or lesser priesthood) named after Aaron from the Bible, and the Melchizedek priesthood, named after (you guessed it!) Melchizedek. Each priesthood has offices with differing responsibilities. In church on March 10th, it was announced that Johnny had graduated from primary and was worthy to be ordained as a deacon. On March 17th, during priesthood, Johnny was ordained by Brother Nick Musick, the young men's president in the ward.  In the circle of men who surrounded him during his ordination and blessing were the Bishop, Brother Scoffield (from the Bishop's Storehouse), Brother Peterson (our home teacher), and Nick Sanders (Johnny's brother-in-law). This past Sunday, he passed the sacrament for the first time. It was fun to see him dressed in his suit and carrying out his responsibilities with solemnity.

Now we have two priesthood holders in the house! Joe will be turning 16 this summer, after which he will be ordained to be a priest. Priests bless the sacrament, perform baptisms, and assist other priesthood holders with their responsibilities.

I feel very blessed to have the priesthood power here in our home. :)