Feeling it

Today I was thinking about how blessed I feel. I thought about what a great home teacher I have...Bro. Peterson worked eight hours straight cutting up the branches that Patrick cut down from the trees on Saturday. I have no words for the gratitude I feel. I still need to dispose of the branches (if only I had a chipper/shredder!) but at least the house is out of danger. I'm so grateful for the friendship of Bro. Peterson and his wife, Kelly, who is a dear friend of mine.

I was also thinking about what a great Bishop we have. This struck me on Sunday as I was talking with the primary kids about choosing the right, and I mentioned the Bishop. One little boy who is new to our church asked what a bishop was, and then asked WHO he was. I described him, and he asked, "Is he mean?" I busted up laughing, and felt completely confident when I said, "Absolutely not! I love the Bishop!" He has blessed my life and that of my children immeasurably. When I think of him, I feel humbled by his service and pleased by the love he shows to the youth of our ward and to the children.

I've also been thinking about our relief society president and her sisters who recently lost their mother. Knowing Annika and Melanie has truly blessed me. Both are great examples to me and always offer encouraging words and positive thoughts whenever I see them. I consider both of them friends, even though I feel like I can't give nearly as much as I receive in the friendships. I don't know Kara as well, but I'm looking forward to getting to know her better as time goes on.


I went to the Bishop's storehouse this morning to work, and was there to witness two new service missionaries who were called to the Bishop's storehouse. This couple has been very faithful about driving from Bakersfield every Tuesday, and I've been blessed to work with them frequently in the last few months. I thought about the spiritual thought that Bro. Scoffield shared with us last week, and I find it still touches me as I ponder the "angels" that I get to serve along side of and learn from each week that I go. I find a little slice of joy each time I serve there.

Brother Scoffield asked me last week why I didn't stay home and study instead of serving in the storehouse. There aren't sufficient words to explain how much I love serving there, but I did tell him that I think of it like tithing. I can never give more money to the Lord than he returns to me tenfold in blessings. The same is true of my time. I can never give the Lord more in service than he returns to me in blessings. I find I study better and do better in my classes when I remember to serve others. And having been a recipient of the blessings of the storehouse materially and spiritually, I can only feel peace about spending my time there.

Vineyard Pruning

Saturday was a busy day. I went to pick up Kelly and Joe at the their dad's house (Fowler & 168), then drove out to the vineyard for pruning. There were breakfast burritos and fruit to enjoy (yum) as well as a lot of work to be done. We all learned to wrap and tie and cleaned up the vines for the growing season. We spent a few hours doing that, then I drove the kids back out to Clovis to their dad's. (A LOT of miles put on my car yesterday.)

The vineyard is a special responsibility. Each ward in our area is responsible for several rows. We harvest the grapes, roll them, and pick them up during the summer. In the winter, we prune and tie the grapes. There are other responsibilities as necessary, but these are the main jobs. It's a lot of fun to participate...people laugh and talk, sometimes singing as they do the work. There's a lot of teasing along with the sweating and working. The reason we can do such hard work so joyfully is that the fruit of the vineyard becomes raisins that are sent around the world for humanitarian aid provided by our church. The assistance is for both members and non-members. It is such a blessing to be able to help serve in this capacity, though it is also hard work.

After the vineyard, I went to purchase my books for the Spring semester which starts on Tuesday. It cost nearly $700. Ouch! I also repaired the faucet in the boy's shower.  I'm dreading calling the pest control companies next week about our termite situation, but it must be done.

Christmas

Christmas morning came on my favorite day of the week...Sunday! I got to spend a tiny portion of the day in my favorite place of learning...church! We had been practicing our cantata for months, and to be honest, I was beginning to get annoyed with it. However, when our meeting closed for the day, the congregation sang "Away in a Manger," and all at once, I was struck with the sure testimony of the reality of our Savior and his love for us. The spirit overcame me and I could not sing. I felt like this was a gift from the Savior to me personally, a light into my heart and a lift to my spirits that I needed with every fiber of my being. It was another of the gifts of "true Christmas" that the Father blessed me with this Christmas. I'm so grateful!

The children were pretty happy with their gifts. Kelly loved her memory foam pillow (from me) and the nail polishes and remover from her siblings (all sparkly colors!). Joe was so happy to find a guitar case under the tree from me, and thrilled with the portal "turret" that he received from his siblings. Laine received the exact pillow pet she had been wanting (a panda) and from her siblings, she received a desk organizer and a bunch of writing supplies. Johnny was excited that he now has a new set of scriptures with a snap, exactly what he hoped to get. From his siblings, he received a big block of pepper jack cheese, a weather radio and a lamp (kind of like a lava lamp, only with little fish inside that "swim" around). Santa brought the family a telescope, a game called the Settlers of Catan, a new Brandon Mull book, and a bunch of edible treats for pets and people.

We have been so blessed this year. I'm looking forward to 2012 for a variety of reasons, but I can't let the year pass away without expressing again how grateful I am for the blessings the Lord has placed in our lives. We couldn't make it through each day without the love of all of our friends and family!

Whew!

Whew! Managed to complete this semester with all A's. I wish I could take all the credit, but I know I couldn't have done it without divine intervention from time to time. (Like the day when I got really sick and had to go home, missing a critical class...turned out that the class was CANCELED!)

I'm looking forward to a few weeks off before the next semester. My classes coming up are Cognitive Psychology, Applied Behavioral Analysis, Social Psychology, Developmental Psychology, the Psychology of Aging, and Multicultural Aging. Five days of classes each week, plus two online courses. I truly hope I'm able to keep the pace up next semester. I have the feeling that grad school will be even more challenging. Only two more semesters until my bachelors is complete.

I'm using the break to prep for the GRE and the CBEST, as well as to start my reading for the spring semester. I'm also hoping to qualify for financial aid for the next academic year. Borrowing money feels so foreign to me.

Terrific Tuesday!

Well, we had a terrific morning at the Bishop's Storehouse today. We helped package up fruits and vegetables, and after those were done, spent the bulk of the morning bagging nuts. There were a ton of people helping, and it was amazing to see everyone working so hard. All of our favorites were there, and some new people, too! I so much appreciate Brother Scoffield for his example of service, love and hard work for my boys, who are slowly coming around to the idea that life is hard and it's time to get over it and get to work.

At home, the kids spent some time enjoying some computer time while I worked on homework. More good news: Fortunately a friend of mine arranged for a heating "specialist" to come and look at our heater tomorrow, so hopefully our home will be able to get over 53 degrees during the day if they are able to fix it. If not, the kids are preparing firewood to keep us warm during the rainy weather ahead.

I also finally went shopping for food items today, and there are happy tummies in the Cavanaugh home.

We finished off the day with a wonderful trip to the temple for baptisms. It was the first time I was able to go with Laine. Kelly was unable to go because she was ill. It was so special to me to have Laine and Joe both there. (Someday soon, I hope to have all five of the children there at once with me!) We enjoyed our quiet evening at the temple. The spirit was strong, the smiles were big, and the joy was tangible!!

Thrash, Trash and Cash

I've been thrashing around in my closet some more today, and trashed about 20 pounds of garbage and 15 pounds of paper. Now, I'm going to "cash" in by selling all my hobby stuff that I never use anymore (like my stamp sets) and other unused usable things that are just cluttering up my life and my closet. Hello, Craig's list and/or yard sale!

I found correspondence from 20+ years ago that I think I'll keep. I also found bank records and tax stuff from the late 80's and early 90's. Dang, where's a shredder when I need one? Guess I'll just have to start a shredding business! Then I can write off a brand new shredder. :-)

I still have tons of stuff to purge out of my life, but I'm working on it a bit at a time. It feels really good! I wonder if I'm making room for something big or getting ready for a calamity? Either way, time for a fresh start. Take that, universe!

Fall!

It's here! The first day of Fall! Now that fall has officially begun, I can hardly contain myself. This is my favorite time of year in nearly every respect. I'm hoping that the change in seasons will brighten my mood and help me be happier.

I love fall leaves and fall color, as well as the flowers that thrive in the fall. I love pumpkins (and pumpkin muffins and pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread!). Doesn't the air just smell different in the fall? (And I'm not talking about the winery!) It's fun getting out of bed and thinking that I need socks, or toward evening, hunting in my closet for that first sweatshirt of the season. It's fun sitting on the couch drinking hot chocolate with a blanket to keep me warm (though that one would be MUCH better if I had someone to snuggle with!). One of the things I think is most beautiful is the fall sky, with clouds that drift across and catch both light and color. Making the first fire in our wood stove warms my heart as well as the house.

I hope this fall is filled with good things!

I Promise....Forever!

Erin and Nick after the sealing. They look so happy together!

Here's the happy location of Erin & Nick's sealing...the Sacramento Temple!

This was such a wonderful weekend. Well, with one exception...we couldn't locate my purse before our departure. But once we were on our way to Davis, life was good. We drove up to visit Erin and Nick. we got into town about 8:30, picked up Nick from work and went for a late dinner at Wing Stop. It was so much fun!

Saturday morning we were up bright and early, getting ready for a big day at the temple. At 9 a.m. we drove to the Sacramento temple, and deposited the kids at a nearby chapel and then went in for the big event. Erin and Nick were sealed for time and eternity at about 11:20 in the morning. It was so beautiful! I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. I felt so blessed to be there. I have loved her since she was four years old, and it was so deeply moving to see her take this step in her life, and to see the progress she and Nick have made in the gospel. I was touched by all the support they received from their ward. Afterward, they were greeted outside the temple by all the kids and by Erin's dad and his wife (and their dog Indy). We went over to the home of a dear friend of Erin's for a reception, and had delicious food and a great time.

Later that afternoon, back at their apartment, several people slept, I worked on homework, and the children played with Widget and Gracie or played on their electronic devices. We went out for pizza in the evening and really enjoyed the food and the fun. We headed back to Fresno later than I expected (about 9) and I was really tired on the way home. We were grateful for the prayers of safety before we left. Everyone except Kelly and I slept on the way home.

I am so grateful to see Erin and Nick receive the blessings of the temple. It makes my heart so happy!

Summer of Service

Last week was a busy week! On Monday, the two youngest kids went to a humanitarian project to make hats and toys for people around the world who have been hard hit by natural disasters. Then Monday evening, we helped a friend load up her moving truck. On Tuesday morning, we went to the Bishop's Storehouse to help package food for needy families in the central valley. That same afternoon, Kelly and I went and helped a friend to clean up after their move. Wednesday was faith in God for girls, as well as mutual for the older three kids. Thursday, we went BACK to the Bishop's storehouse (just can't get enough!) and Friday, we served at the Poverello House.

Someone asked me what we were doing all this for. Like most things in my life, I decided to do it for my children. My goal is to raise healthy, independent, self-reliant, grateful, happy adults who contribute and give back to their community. I don't want them going out into the world asking, what's in it for me? I don't want them thinking the world owes them anything. I want them to develop their talents and their gifts, to work hard for their dreams, and to always remember that someone is worse off than they are.

I felt that we needed to spend some time helping others who have less or who need more help than we do currently. I want my kids to grow up grateful, with a sense of self-worth that is unrelated to their score or level on some video game they mastered this summer. I want them to know that every person is a child of God, and deserves dignity and respect. I also want them to develop faith and a testimony of God's love for all of his children, to have a testimony of paying tithing and of service. I want them to love each other.

Another reason is to help the children realize that despite all the things we do without, that we are very blessed. I'm working very little right now and going to school. I'm trying to make a better life for myself and the kids...to set an example for them to finish their education. That means our budget right now is very tight, and getting tighter daily. Taking this step has required a lot of faith for me. I'm not comfortable living so close to the wire. Yet because of prayer, I know it is what I am supposed to do: go back to college, really serve others with all my heart, grow my testimony and be the best mom I know how to be(not necessarily in that order!). I'm not certain of much beyond those goals. However, I know that the children and I are feeling closer and more thankful for all that we have. I wanted the children to know that when we complain about what we don't have, we are forgetting all that we DO have.

We enjoy our time together in these service projects. We have witnessed God's hand in our lives and in the lives of others.  I hope to establish an eternal pattern for myself and all of my kids...serve, serve, serve, with all of our hearts.

Small Miracles

Yesterday, I tackled my closet. And when I say tackled, I mean it. I keep all of my paints, clay, craft supplies, sewing supplies, and yarn in my closet in addition to my clothes. Over the past six months as I've been preoccupied with school, Kelly (and the other kids, but mostly Kelly) has been helping herself to whatever is in the closet, which wouldn't be so bad if she returned things to where she got them, and put other things back that she moved out of the way or tidied up in the slightest. Let's just say, that's a dream that's unlikely to hit reality until she has her own kids and starts to realize how disorganization consumes life.

Anyway, my closet was a complete and utter disaster. As I was working, I was fighting my tendency to give up on projects that seem too overwhelming. It causes this depression and a kind of paralysis when I am faced with a task that huge. Nevertheless, I pressed forward and about the time that I was feeling super discouraged, I found a basket filled with miscellaneous items that needed sorting. I sat down at the table to clear it out, and when I dumped it on the table, I noticed something sparkly still stuck in the basket. Upon closer examination, I discovered much to my shock and pleasure, that the ring that I had put in my purse to get sized (right before it was stolen from my car) was THERE!

Stuck in this basket was a small miracle. Now this is not an expensive ring. It has a "blue" pearl and the teeniest of diamonds set in a simple gold setting, but I've used it since I first received it to remind myself of God's love for me, that each person is a pearl of great price in his eyes, and that I should value myself and everyone I meet. It's also symbolic of the gospel to me. When I happened upon this ring, I felt certain that it was God reminding me of all of my blessings, and his sure knowledge of the things that give me pleasure. I know it was a small thing, but to have thought these several months that it was gone forever, and then to find it in a place where it ought not to have been, gave me such peaceful joy. He truly knows our hearts!

Furry Farewell

We had to say goodbye to our cat Hailey yesterday. We got Hailey when she was about a year old from the Cat House on the Kings. We actually got two cats at that time...Timmy for Joe's 9th birthday and Hailey for Laine's 7th birthday, which were just week apart. The two cats were brother and sister, and were inseparable. When we brought them home, we discovered much to our dismay that the cats had ringworm. We had to lock the kitties up in the bathroom until all signs of it were completely gone, which took about a month. During that month, we also discovered that Hailey had an eating disorder. She would lay by her bowl and eat non-stop if we let her, so we resorted to feeding the cats only once per day.

They used to run around the house playing tag with each other. If the cats were sleeping you could bet that they'd be sleeping next to one another. Hailey was a homebody, but Timmy was a daredevil and would run for the door as soon as it opened. This resulted in Timmy being hit by a car about 3 years ago, and many sad hearts at the Cavanaugh household. Hailey's digestive problems caused her to have stinky diarrhea most of the time, and finally after too long with the cat litter box not being cleaned properly, I finally decided that we needed to let the cats be indoor/outdoor cats and let them do their business outside.

That's when Hailey met her brother from another mother, Roshi...our next door neighbor's cat. She also became enthralled with the children who live next door, who just loved to feed her by hand (we used to call it popping bon-bons).  Hailey took to hanging out at our neighbors' yard with her new best friend Roshi more than at our home. But if it was cold or wet, she would come begging at our door since our neighbors wouldn't let her in. She would also come running if they were on vacation. Food was suddenly accessible all the time to her (we have a cat friendly neighborhood), and she began to rack up the pounds. Soon it became impossible for her to clean herself, and several times when she was filthy, she would work her way to our house to be washed by her happy-to-see-her children owners, who clipped her backside and washed her up.

Laine bemoaned the "loss" of her cat to the neighbors, but knew she could visit her anytime she wanted. And when she came over, she purred and preened for all of us. Then Thursday after about a three month absence, Hailey suddenly showed up at our front door. I bent down to scratch her ears and noticed that she was bleeding a little and smelled atrocious. Upon examination, we discovered that she had a deep circular wound on her upper thigh/buttock area, and it was clearly infected and crawling with maggots. When she walked, she couldn't put weight on her back leg, and her backside was filthy. I cleaned her up a little and decided to see what the new day would bring before making a decision about what to do.

All night and into the morning, she kept crying out. She had made her way into the back yard and was moving from place to place, only about 8 to 10 inches at a time before she would collapse. She was bleeding very profusely, and clearly in a lot of pain. I realized that the situation was beyond help. A friend helped me load her into the car, and I had to take her to the SPCA to be euthanized. I thought my heart would break. I couldn't even speak to the desk clerk because I was so upset. When I told the children, they were all sad, but the saddest of all was little Laine, who had loved her fatty cat with all of her heart.

I told her that now Hailey and Timmy are together again, probably playing tag and sleeping side by side. Poor Roshi is heartbroken and won't stop crying for his friend. I know Hailey's in a much happier place now, but we'll miss our furry family member.

Semester Wrap-up!

I finished the last of my classes today. Needless to say, I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief. Particularly after Wednesday's madness, I thought I would completely lose my mind. In my Geology class, my grade is completely dependent on how I did on the paper since it's 50% of my grade. I think I earned a high B or low A on the paper, so I will likely get either an A or a B in the class. In my Abnormal Psychology class, our whole grade depends on the tests we took throughout the semester. Since I had an A going into the final, and assuming I did as well on the Tuesday night final (8 p.m. Can you believe that? I thought I'd fall asleep!) as I think I did, I most likely earned an A in the class. Psychological Experimental Methods is my 5 unit course. I have been working so hard in that class all year! I had an A before turning in my research report (100 points) and taking my final (50 points). When I did the math, I realized that I only needed to get 113 points combined on these two items in order to get an A, and I'm confident enough to believe I earned an A. Let's hope so, anyway.

This semester was only 12 units, however. This summer I'm taking 6 units, plus challenging the upper division writing requirements. If that works out, that will count as another 3 units, making 9 total for the summer. I'm registered for 12 units in the fall, but will be adding one more class if it becomes available. In 2012, I am planning on taking 41 units total and applying for grad school if I can get all the classes I need over this next year and a half.

An interesting development has occurred over the last few weeks...I realized that although I want to do rehabilitation counseling/crisis intervention, the master's degree in this area would require me to work for others instead of being independent as I want to be. So I'm going to try to get into the MFT (marriage and family therapy) program for my master's, which will allow me to open my own practice or work with others in the area I want to specialize in, and work on other areas if I choose. If I decide to get my doctorate then ultimately it won't matter where my master's is, but I will be able to make more money with the MFT than without, which will be important in supporting my family through the doctorate program.

But first, I am so excited about finally getting my bachelor's degree. I hope the Lord blesses me to be able to keep afloat financially through this time!

Ward Campout

My boys and I were blessed to participate in the ward camp out on Friday evening. It was held at Squaw Leap (oh, wait, they call it something else now...I can't remember what it is, though.) The boys set up our tent for us, and we had a great time! The dinner Friday night was pulled pork, beans, carrots, and other yummy stuff. We were running a bit late because another ward member needed a ride at the last minute, so we were VERY happy to find that there was still food for us to eat.

After dinner, Bishop gave a great talk about the priesthood, with three wonderful stories about people who learned to honor the promises they made to the Lord and received tremendous blessings in return. This was held around a campfire with our ward family there among the tee pees, with the great expanse of beautiful stars and planets above us and the hills around us. It was truly beautiful.

When the boys and I got back to our tent, we read our scriptures by lamp light, said our prayers, and crawled into our tent to sing hymns and for our "scary story exchange."  We sang "Called to Serve" and "I Love to see the Temple." Then Johnny started his scary story, and before he finished, Joe fell asleep. I listened to the families around us, singing, playing cards, talking, and wondered if this was what it would have been like to be pioneers.

As it turned out, I had a lot of time to think about a lot of things that night. Earlier in the evening I had been "attacked" by allergies. I had forgotten how allergic I am to oak trees, wildflower pollen, and grasses. Even though I took an allergy pill, I could not get the symptoms under control, and some irritant had gotten into one of my eyes, such that it kept leaking and making mucous all night. I kept waking up with one eye sealed shut, feeling unable to breathe from asthma, and with the urgent need to blow my nose. I barely slept, and instead kept thinking about people that I loved, about my family, and about my future. When the sun finally came up, I went to my van to look in the mirror and discovered that the left side of my face was swollen so much that my left eye was almost completely closed. (My right eye looked terrible, too, but that was lack of sleep.)

I applied an ice pack to it for several hours, and kept rinsing my eye out, and by about ten, it was much improved. Breakfast was pancakes, sausage and bacon...most delicious! Hot chocolate and wassail made the morning complete.

After breakfast, the boys left to go find the caves, and I went with Katie and Keith to hike to the gorge and bridge area over the San Joaquin river. We saw beautiful wildflowers, lots of birds and lots of friends as we encountered others on the trail. The gorge was breathtaking...the breeze blowing up canyon was well worth the hike. The river was flowing beautifully. The hike was an easy one and we all had fun.

After the hike we returned to Fresno. I'm always grateful for these trips into nature. They remind me how much our Father in Heaven must love us, and keep my heart grateful for all the beauty he has surrounded us with. The earth testifies of Christ! I'm also grateful for our ward family. We always feel so loved and supported when we are with them. We are truly blessed!