Happy New Year!

Lucky for you, you won't find a list of resolutions on any of my pages. I've found that waiting til the new year to make a list is a very ineffective way of making lasting changes. I strive to improve daily. You'd think if I was actually successful at that, I wouldn't need to keep improving...I'd be perfect!  To me, it just shows how truly far away I am from perfection.

I do tend to spend some time in reflection, thinking about the past year. I think overall, we have been very blessed. I refuse to dwell on the struggles and plan to keep moving forward in faith, knowing that I am far more blessed than I realize on even my most grateful of days. A lot of things will change this next year. I'm hoping that one of them will be that the Lord will lead even more people into my life to love, and hopefully one special person in particular. I am so very grateful for all of my family and friends who have touched my heart and my life during this past year. I'm so happy that God has given me wonderful children who are learning every day to be amazing adults.

I do hope the year ahead is full of joys and happiness beyond compare for all of those people that I love. I hope your sorrows only serve to sweeten your joys. I pray that your burdens may be lightened by those who love you. I ask that sunshine and peace be your faithful companions. And I hope that together, we can make this time on earth full of friendship, understanding and love.

Belle

While Erin and I were running out to pick up dinner this evening, we encountered a little dog lying in the middle of the road. I swerved to avoid her, and heard her yapping from where she was lying. We pulled over and went to see if the dog was injured. Poor dog was wet from the rain, and someone had hit her and left her on the road, injured. She raised the front of her body with her front paws, but didn't lift the back of her body. She was bleeding from her bottom and was panic stricken. Erin carried her to the car and I looked at her collar, hoping for a tag. We found that her name was Belle, and found a phone number. We were heartbroken as we spoke to the elderly couple. We drove Belle to her home where we left her with her human family, both in their 90's, and their son. They've had the dog for twelve years. It didn't look good. I felt so sad for them. I'm going to check on the couple and the dog in a few days. In the meantime, a few prayers couldn't hurt!

Christmas Photo

I can't afford to send out all the Christmas cards I'd like to send. So many people in my life to love! And this year, with my uncle dying so close to Christmas, we will be doing some unexpected traveling so this photo will just let others know that all those smiles are because of all the love we feel from all of our family and friends. We can't tell you just how much your friendship and love has meant to us every day! We wish you the merriest of Christmases, with peace and joy deep in your soul as you contemplate the Greatest Gift: Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who died and lives for us! Because of him, we can be clean from all our sins if we repent, and because of him, we can forgive others and ourselves. I love my Savior...I feel surrounded by his love. I'm grateful for all of my wonderful family and friends who bless my life each and every day!

My Heart is Sad.

I received word from my mother this morning that my Uncle Norman has passed away. He lived in a group home in Moreno Valley, where he's lived since my grandfather had to be put into an assisted living facility. In the photo above, he's the one sitting at the table. (Also in the picture, left to right, Richard and Molly Vermette (my uncle and his wife) and my Mom and Dad.)

It's odd that we received the call today...I was thinking about him all through this morning, about visiting him during the kids' break from school. I recalled how hard it was to talk to him on the phone since he didn't have a hearing aid, and felt that I should call my Mom to make the arrangements to visit him. I also thought about how one day, his body would be renewed and he would be free of all the impairments he was burdened with in this life and that I couldn't wait to see what he would be like in the afterlife. Then, an hour later, I received a call from my Mom, telling me that he had passed away.

Norman Vermette would have been 70 on January 26th. He never held a job due to physical and mental disabilities that began at his difficult birth (according to the doctor, he was oxygen deprived), though he was a hard worker in all that he tried to do. I grew up visiting him and my grandparents twice a week or more. He lived in 29 Palms most of his life. He often annoyed us as kids...he acted like a kid (teasing, tattling, being mean) but had an adult's body and we were expected to treat him like an adult. He had the largest collection of comic books I had ever seen, which he would let us read from time to time. He was an usher at the Catholic church we attended, and performed his duties faithfully every Sunday. He loved to watch television. He hated changes in his routine or that of anyone around him. He liked things in order and would often "spy" on us as kids to make sure things were in order. We all got used to him following us around. He was the first to call with any news, bad or good. He could whistle tunes like no one I've ever met. He doted on his mother and loved to buy her little trinkets. My funnest memory of him was when he would put us on the trailer in back of his little yard tractor and give us a ride. I also remember him driving a little go-cart around my grandparents' five acre desert home. I remember he had a pet monkey ages ago when I was very young, and he loved that monkey a ton.

He was always affectionate to me and to my children. He loved to watch the kids, and delighted in trying to figure out which relative they reminded him of as children. He had a nice smile and a funny laugh and would rub his hands together in delight when he told or heard a funny joke. Those same hands would writhe together when he was upset or anxious. He was very opinionated, and the anxiety he suffered from increasingly affected his relationships with people as he got older. He was valiant in doing the best he knew how to help his Mom and his Dad as their health deteriorated. His greatest accomplishment in my opinion was that he helped all of us learn to be less judgmental and more Christ-like in our love for others, both by being difficult (at times) to love and by being a truly loving human being. He believed in God and did everything he was capable of as well as he could. I loved him, and he will be missed by his five siblings and the members of our families.

Please, mom? No!

I just heard on the news that McDonald's is being sued for targeting ads to children, circumventing the parents and causing the children to whine and beg for McDonalds. And of course, those helpless parents just have to give in since their children are having a fit about wanting that happy meal. What the heck?? When I was a kid, every toy under the sun, every sugary cereal ever invented, every cool theme park in the world advertised on television. If I asked for something I saw on a commercial, my parents used this handy answer, with or without explanation, and I learned over time that it meant exactly what it said. Ready? Here it comes...NO!

In fact, this answer made such an impact on me when I was a child that I used it on my own children. I never once experienced a temper tantrum at the register over something my child wanted that I wouldn't buy, because any temper tantrum was either ignored or the child was immediately isolated without an audience. I never once was "forced" to buy my kids a happy meal or any other junk food item. If I purchased something for my children, it was because I wanted to. For the record, I can count on one hand the number of times that we have eaten at McDonald's since my children were born. Have we eaten at fast food restaurants? Yes. Do we do it regularly? No.

I taught my children from a young age that we eat food that's good for us, and have food that's not good for us as an occasional treat. When my children wanted a hamburger, I made one at home out of the boca burgers I had in my freezer. I prepared food that tasted good and had a variety of fruits and veggies. Now when they eat at fast food restaurants, they can tell the difference both in quality and in how the food makes them feel afterward.

Parents need to be parents and consumer groups etc. need to stop laying the responsibility for raising our children on everyone except the parents. Discipline, responsibility and accountability should be taught to our children by the parents, who should also possess those qualities themselves. Sheesh...what is this world coming to?

Rubbing out the Grinch!

This is Laine's new dresser. It's been sitting in my house for a few weeks, waiting for me to get around to staining it. I think today will be the day. I am feeling frustrated and upset by several things in my life, and they have made me struggle to keep a positive attitude. I'm feeling grinchy and grouchy and grumpy. This is entirely unjustified...the few difficulties I have in my life are FAR outweighed by my many blessings and I need to start acting like it, so I'm going to direct all this negative energy into something productive and beautiful. And if that's not enough, then we're going to move all the girl's furniture into the living room and rip out carpet and paint and lay hardwood flooring. Or maybe I'll move all my pantry items into the livingroom and lay tile in the breezeway. Or both! Regardless, I think I have enough to rub out the Grinch!

My Favorite Bear

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.”  --Winnie the Pooh


I always loved Winnie the Pooh when I was a child. His gentle nature and humble way of looking at the world struck something deep inside then, but I never really thought about it until recently. I think I'm looking for my Winnie the Pooh. Have you seen him?

Nick, Joe & Johnny

Just wanted to share this cute photo of the boys...Nick (Erin's husband), Joseph and Johnny, taken in early November.

Serving Up Soup

Today I had the great opportunity to serve lunch at the Poverello House. I spent some time in the kitchen cutting up pasilla peppers first, then served lunch, first to the volunteers/workers, then to the hungry people standing in line outside. I had an interesting group of volunteers to work with...a local motorcycle club came out, dressed in their leathers with their wives and children. Though their appearance was rough and their language colorful, it was a real pleasure to see their hearts were in the right place as they sought to make sure that each client received the best possible experience. I also worked with one gentleman who volunteers every Friday, and a young ladies' service group from a local church. There was so much help, in fact, that instead of the food being served cafeteria style, which is what I'm used to, we served all the clients at their seats, restaurant style.

Today's menu: Yummy-smelling turkey soup, canned diced peaches, salad, a roll, and a slice of pie. As the clients came in, they picked up a sack lunch for their evening meal, since today was treated like a weekend day. We served 340 lunches. I know that's only a fraction of the cold and hungry that could use nourishment. The director said that about 1200-1400 meals are served for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. They provide the food for Naomi's House as well. I also know that the Fresno Rescue Mission serves meals each day.

I love having the chance to do something really practical and beneficial for the homeless and hungry members of our communities. Something in my heart just breaks when I hear the security workers say they are letting the families in first, and I see mothers, fathers and children come in, or when I see elderly adults being escorted by middle aged adults. By far, most people who come in are "singles," meaning they are eating alone.  There's chatter in the dining room, and some people who are there obviously like one another, and some don't. Every ethnic group is there. They sit, they eat, they talk (and some sing!), and they get up and leave, carrying their little white bags full of nourishment for later. Some have seconds, most do not.

Today when we were done, a tall, lively African-American gentleman graced us with a song, beautifully sung to thank us for our help. The clients thank us too, with a "thanks" or a "God Bless." I looked around me today and saw brothers and sisters, children of my Father in Heaven, and realized again how much I take the plenty on my table and the blessing of a home for granted.

As I left today, I looked at this complex of tents, small sheds, the Poverello House and Naomi's House, and think, there but for the grace of God go I.

Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble, gobble! I am on my own this Thanksgiving...the kids are enjoying the day with their dad in honor of his birthday and thanksgiving. I plan on being grateful for everything today and keeping a happy heart. I will be spending part of my day with my home teacher's family to partake of the traditional turkey, and part of the day I will spend visiting with some seniors at a local senior center. And tomorrow, I'm lucky enough to be able to spend serving at the Poverello House.

I wanted to take this opportunity to say that I am really grateful for this life that I have. I've always wanted a simple life...to be a wife and mom, to raise a few animals, to have people in my life to love, a few good close friends. I have all but one of those! How fortunate I am! I look around me and I'm humbled by the ways that God blesses me.

I live in the most blessed country on earth, and that because of the brave men and women who were and are willing to die to keep us free. I live in a state I love (though not politically, I must say). I live in a diverse and bountiful part of that state. I am grateful for my freedom.

Our pets are well-loved and affectionate. Our chickens have been a real blessing, not only in providing the best eggs we've ever had, but also in providing diversion, amusement, and teaching opportunites. Birds visit our yard regularly. We have beautiful trees around us, and live in a quiet, well-established neighborhood with great neighbors. Our house, though pretty old (built 1949) and in much need of attention, is secure and warm, and the monthly bill is low.

Though I lost everything I spent years building because of the circumstances of the divorce, the income from the sale has sustained our family through difficult times and will continue to do so for a few months yet. I waste no time being bitter over these things...instead, I put my life and those of my children in the loving hands of my Father in Heaven. I trust him to guide me and help me through all the uncertainties ahead.

I am so thankful to my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for my faith, which I know is a gift from God. I know that He loves me and grants me every good thing. I know that he wants me to be happy, but that his ultimate goal is my eternal JOY, and so I submit my will to his, knowing that he knows what chastening, what opportunities, and what growth I need to become all that he would have me be.

I am grateful that I've had good health. With the exception of a few minor health issues, like the arthritis in my hands, feet and shoulder, I am blessed to be a very healthy person. I'm also grateful for the health of my children. I am fortunate to have good health insurance for the kids.

I could go on ad infinitum with all the things I am grateful for. I am most grateful for my children and the people I love in my life. They give me reasons to keep moving forward, and their love keeps me sane. Hugs to all of you!!

My Grandfather: Isidore Arthur Vermette

This is a photo of my Grandmother, Agnes and my Grandfather, Isidore. I never called them that, though...to me they were always Memere and Pepere.

Pepere never finished school, but I still think he was a genius. He could fix nearly anything, make nearly anything. Some of my fondest memories were watching him work with wood and make lovely things for my grandmother. I also enjoyed watching him weld, though I was not allowed to get too close during that process to protect my eyes.

He made one room houses into large homes. He fixed vehicles and altered them when necessary. He made at least one mobile home that I know of. When I was young, he made me a dollhouse and a nightstand, both of which I loved immensely. He couldn't sit still to save his life.

He was a prankster to the extreme and loved to "get" people. He was also a fantastic storyteller with a great sense of humor. He read Reader's Digest faithfully (and left it on the back of the toilet along with Guideposts so the rest of us could enjoy it, too!). He was lovable, but also fiercely tempered. I learned early on not to make him mad or break any rules around him. He was one of the hardest workers I knew. He could swear in two languages. He always knew how to do everything, and felt free to tell you how to do it.

He was a Catholic, and attended church every Sunday he could. His favorite hymn was "How Great Thou Art" and I loved to hear him sing it.

He and my grandmother raised six children...four girls, and two boys. Their names are Jeannette, Rita, Gloria (my mom), Richard, Norman and Susan. His biggest fights were with my Uncle Norman, their disabled son who lived with them their whole lives. Both were stubborn as mules.

When they were older, Pepere loved to watch HSN with my grandmother and buy her little trinkets. When my grandmother was at the end of her life, he cared for her the best he knew how, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

He was imperfect and riddled with faults and failings, and blessed with many talents. I love him with all my heart.

(Those cabinets behind my grandfather were built by him.) He died April 4, 2006, 4 years after his sweetheart died. He was 89 years old.

Cranking Up the Heat and the Gratitude

I had to turn the temp on my hot water heater up this week. It's amazing how all spring and summer, I don't even think about it. We have all the hot water we can handle, thanks to our solar hot water heater. My gas bill runs about $4 a month during the summer. When the foggy days start to hit, though, my once warm water starts to feel cold, and I have to crank up the hot water heater.

I have been really blessed by having the solar water heater. It has worked flawlessly for the thirteen and a half years that I have lived in this home. It was here when I got here, and hopefully I have many, many more years of nearly free hot water ahead of me.

My gas bill isn't the only thing that goes up in the winter. The solar panels on the roof that produce huge amounts of electricity during the sunny months slow down considerably during the winter, and my electric bill creeps up. Or in some cases, leaps up! I would prefer to supplement our heat with the EPA certified wood-burning insert we installed when we found out Kelly had asthma, but the new regulations on wood burning make it hard to use the insert as a reliable heat source.

I am very blessed to have these money (and environment) saving devices in my home. They've literally saved me thousands of dollars over the years. I overlook them most of the time. I'm thankful for all the ways the Lord has blessed me. This is just one more example of his tender mercies at work in my life.

Senior Living Network

Well, we completed another successful year for the Senior Living Network. I worked with my friend and co-chair Renee to solicit sponsors and donations for three events...our Alzheimer's awareness walk that took place in March, the Alzheimer's Educational Forum that we put on in June, and last, but certainly not least, the Senior Living Network Fashion Show and Luncheon that took place a few weeks ago.

Phew! It has been a lot of work in this tough economy. Donations were not what we would like them to be, but we have high hopes that this coming year will be easier and better. And now we get to start on another year! For those who are unaware, the Senior Living Network is made up of a group of volunteers, all professionals who work with and for the senior community in our area. The organization's mission statement is "to raise funds and awareness through education for Alzheimer's disease and related dementia." The funds are divided between three organizations...UCSF Fresno Alzheimer's & Memory Center, OASIS (Older Adult Social Services), and the Alzheimer's Foundation of Central California.

I've been the fundraising chair/co-chair for three years now. I took it on shortly after my own grandfather, who had Alzheimer's disease, died. It is interesting that all these years I have worked with individuals and families to provide care for clients who had varying types and stages of dementia, and yet when it struck in my own family, I was unprepared for the emotional impact it would have on all of us. Practically, I could tell my mom what to do to ensure that my grandfather couldn't drive after he became dangerous on the road. I could also comfort her that his accusations of theft and his paranoia were products of dementia, and not to take them personally. I could advise her on how to handle his hoarding behaviors. And I could even help her through the process of what to do for my uncle, who has several disabilities, once my grandfather could no longer care for him. But seeing the impact of it, losing him day by day...it was still devastating. Fortunately my grandfather did not linger on for years with Alzheimer's. He had other health issues that first made it impossible to communicate and later took his life before we had to endure the difficulties and challenges of advanced dementia.

Alzheimer's is one of the cruelest diseases, in my opinion. It takes away a loved one bit by bit. Because a person can otherwise be healthy, the disease can progress for years and years. Its toll on families and on individuals who care for someone with Alzheimer's is immense. They mourn the losses, big and small, of the parts of the person they've loved for years as each day passes. As the brain deteriorates, it can seem as if they are left with just the shell and the thankless, unending care of someone who is increasingly mentally absent. The caregivers are plagued with exhaustion, especially if they're unable to get respite care to give them a break from their duties. It's a 24 hour a day responsibility and seldom offers chances for uninterrupted sleep for the caregiver.

The only comfort I can find when I'm faced with a family dealing with this terrible disease is the assurances that my faith brings me. I know that we live upon this imperfect world in bodies that are subject to the frailties of the flesh. I know that when our spirits inhabit these bodies, that whatever happens to them tests us and others around us. Our resilience, our testimonies, our determination to remain faithful, our willingness to love and serve others can be strengthened or weakened by how we respond to these challenges. And in the case of Alzheimer's, where our brain physically changes and behavior is affected, I cling to the knowledge that inside, the spirit and the essence of who a person is remains unchanged. I stand certain that even if a beloved family member no longer recognizes us in this existence, in the hereafter, they will certainly remember us and love us for the sacrifices we have made in caring for them, despite the terrible toll it takes on every level. And when we are resurrected, our bodies will no longer subject to illness or disease and will be whole and all of our faculties restored.

I love working with this group of professionals, and making an impact, however small, that connects families dealing with Alzheimer's to support, help, and hope. Our next event takes place on April 2, 2010...it will be our Alzheimer's Awareness walk at Woodward park. Won't you join us?

A Song I Love

I've been listening to the EFY 2009 CD in my car, and one of the songs I love is called "The Real Me." Every time I hear it, I think about the fact that I never have to hide who I really am from God, or what's going on in my heart.

Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a Charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

And you love me just as I am

Wonderful, Beautiful is what you see
When you look at me

Moving On

My former husband is getting married. Many friends have asked me how I feel about this and are concerned for my well being. To me, his Christmas-time marriage is a good thing, as he is a much better parent when he has a partner. It's also good because I want him to be happy...after all, we were married for 13 years. When he is alone, he is absolutely NOT happy. The kids are okay with him getting married. They've expressed concern about me being alone, though they've also admitted that me getting remarried would be much harder for them than their dad getting remarried. The kids love him, and so do I, because of them. His happiness means the kids will be happier and will be treated better. And Patrick will always be a part of our family.

This doesn't mean it's easy for me to see him get married. One part of me has to finally relinquish the glimmer of hope I had for a miraculous change of heart and behavior that might have yielded a chance for real hope for us. A part of me feels it's really unfair, questions (again) what God has in store for me.

According to a recent study, about 39 percent of Americans think marriage is obsolete. As for me, I don't consider marriage to be obsolete, though I apparently have great difficulty choosing "the One." I believe marriage is ordained of God for the benefit of mankind, creating the best possible environment for raising children, and allowing maximum growth for the couple. Divorce has not turned me off of marriage, though it has scared me a bit. Despite having been divorced, marriage is a desirable thing to me. I would like to have someone who loves and cherishes me, and I want to have someone in my life that I can cherish and shower with love. I long to share spiritual and emotional growth with someone, watch the children grow and mature with a companion at my side. I want to go on walks, hand in hand, ponder the universe, discuss the things of eternity, watch people, visit beautiful places and temples, and laugh.

In the meantime, I'm trying to bear it all with patience, and know that when the time is right, God will bring about the right circumstances for it to happen. The loneliness cannot consume me, even though sometimes I think it might, as long as I rely on my relationship with Christ to carry me through. He at least is faithful, constant, kind, and concerned for my eternal welfare.

Dear God

Dear God: You know I have always loved trees, and I can see that you have placed a number of beautiful ones in close proximity to me so that I will be reminded of your love, and I am so thankful! Today, I'd like to thank you for three in particular. For example, my neighbor's tree across the way is so huge, and has the most beautiful structure I have ever seen. When I see it, I think about how strong you are, and how I can rely on your presence in my life.

Thank you so much for the beautiful tree just a block away that you decorated with so many stunning colors. It gladdens my heart and makes me think of you every time I see it, and reminds me that being able to see is a tremendous blessing. There are so many people who cannot see. Seeing all of those colors on the same tree reminds me, too, that there is a place for everyone in your kingdom, and that every person of every "color" belongs to you.

And that lovely gold tree on Shaw Avenue is a joy to my eyes. When I'm driving home from dropping the kids off at school in the mornings, it's almost always lit from behind and it looks like angels are aiming a spotlight at it. It's so tall it makes me look WAY up to see the top. It reminds me that you are the source of everything good in my life. You are amazing!

Leadership Class

A little over a year ago, I decided to take the Leadership Class offered by the Clovis Chamber of Commerce. I thought my skills needed some refining and I have felt a desire to become more active in the community. The class, though small, was excellent. We read and discussed two books: Principle Centered Leadership and the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, both authored by Stephen Covey. At most classes, we either had a field trip or a guest speaker. The speakers were excellent...they discussed their role in the community and what moved them to become leaders. The field trips were also eye-opening...we saw many local businesses, city officials, and places of interest in our community. We had the chance to see leadership in action, and ask questions of people who were very successful in their areas of expertise.

After this classroom experience, each class takes on a project that they agree on and then the challenge is to carry it out, applying the leadership principles that were learned during the previous year. Seeing what some of the classes have tackled has been inspiring. Our class was motivated to look at ways that we could help the Clovis community have more leadership, and decided to work for the year on increasing enrollment in the Leadership Clovis program and setting in place a leadership group that would support the program and the community by fostering leadership.

Ed Flores, our facilitator for the program, was a great teacher. He was very dedicated and ambitious about what could be accomplished by a few determined people. The program is two years long, and my class and I have about 8 more months to work on our project.

Having been involved in this class has made me realize what a gift it is to make connections with people. It has helped me appreciate civic leaders and look at my community beyond my own family and my own business. It has inspired me to be more involved and vocal about what happens here. It has helped me realize that my talents or gifts can be useful in a variety of areas. I've also been re-evaluating how I spend my time and weighing the options for civic involvement more carefully.

Two areas I discovered I have a great interest in is City Planning and Business Development. For some reason, I never really thought much about it before, but since we met with the city of Clovis leadership, and later with the city of Hanford's leaders, I have found that these are almost irresistible subjects for me. If I had all the time in the world, I would love to study the processes in more depth. It's such a fascinating area!

I'm grateful for the opportunities I have been given to develop relationships with people, as well as my own skills. I'm also thankful for the growing understanding I have of how we are all connected. It seems like every day, the Lord helps me comprehend better that our purpose for being here on this earth is not to live solitary lives, but to connect, understand and appreciate others.

Is that Annie Oakley?

My mom recently posted this photo of my grandmother on facebook. I was so surprised when I saw it. I thought I knew everything there was to know about my grandmother. Needless to say, her life still holds a few surprises.

My grandparents moved to Twentynine Palms about 1942, and lived for a time in the Joshua Tree National Monument (now the Joshua Tree National Park). The home they lived in initially had no roof, and I grew up on stories about wild horses peeking over the walls and stealing food from the windowsills. My mother and her siblings sleeping on cots outdoors (because it was cooler than in the house), and awakening to discover coyotes sniffing them. Great stories that made my imagination run wild!

I knew life was tough for them. They lost everything in a fire on their way to Twentynine Palms. They were already blessed with many children by that point, and apparently to get by, my grandparents would shoot rabbits to help feed the family. Look at that monster! It's huge! And I never even knew or suspected that my grandmother could handle a gun...she was about four foot eleven inches tall first thing in the morning. She was kind hearted, practical, and had a great sense of humor. Apparently she was also a great shot!

This summer, I picked up a gun for the first time and after receiving some gun safety tips, had my first attempts at firing the gun. I had to overcome some fear at first. My 13 year old cousin Stephen was accidentally shot through the head by his best friend when I was about 15, so I've always been a little terrified of guns. Yet when I picked it up and fired, I discovered I was calm, cool, and collected, and a pretty darn good shot myself. Maybe in addition to inheriting my grandmother's voice, I also inherited her shooting ability! Still, you won't find me out shooting rabbits anytime soon.

One thing I love to do!

One of the organizations I spend time helping for free is the Home Instead Senior Care Foundation. From the website: "This private foundation funds non-profit organizations that specialize in programs and services for seniors. Areas of interest for funding grants include the following: age-related research and development; scholarships; advocacy for the health and well-being of older adults; and programs that promote community inclusion for seniors, especially those facing the problem of isolation."

I've been on the board continuously since the inception of the Home Instead Senior Care Foundation back in 2003. Together, we have awarded over $890,000 in the seven years that we have been making grants, benefitting more than 80 different organizations across the country and into Canada. Not too much longer before we'll hit our $1 million mark! Being a part of this organization has meant so much to me. I became personal friends of the founders when I launched a Home Instead franchise with my partner and my husband back in 1996. I had always been struck by Paul and Lori's integrity and their sincere desire to build an organization that gave back. I was so honored that they invited me to sit on the board, and each time I am asked to renew my seat on the board, I feel immensely blessed.

Soon I'll be deep in reading. Nov 1st was the deadline for the Spring Grant Cycle for the Home Instead Senior Care Foundation. For each cycle, we have two stages...Letters of Inquiry, and Proposals. Letters of inquiry are shorter, but there are more of them. When we invite an organization to submit a proposal, the documents are much lengthier and more in-depth, though there are fewer of them. I don't always enjoy the reading. It can be tedious, especially when there are more than 100 different letters of inquiry submitted in a cycle. But more often than not, I really love seeing how organizations in different communities solve the problems of and offer support to seniors in their community. I almost always wish that we had more money to give away.

Some parts of the evaluation process are checks on a list....yes, they answered all the required questions. Yes, they are a 501(c)(3). Yes, they have letters of reference. Much of the evaluation takes place on a gut level, however...how does this grant request strike me? Does the organization seem sincere in its mission? What do the letters of reference really say...are they all the same, or does each one have real meaning? Does the request tug at my emotions? How many people are they helping? What does it cost per person helped? What is the impact on the lives of the individuals they serve?

Frequently, weighing one organization against another is excruciating. Do we feed seniors, or help fix their houses? Do we provide respite care, or provide counseling services for seniors who are victims of abuse? These are not easy decisions.

I am always touched when I see how many different ways people give back to their communities. I am impressed with the resourcefulness and resilience of the different non-profits. They continue to raise funds, help everyone they can, fight for every opportunity to bless the lives of their clients. It really renews my faith in the human spirit and in the generosity of people toward one another.

Every time I decide which ones I will support through the process, I pray about it. I take the charge to bless these organizations and to be wise with the funds very seriously. It is a true blessing to me to know that I have indirectly been able to impact the lives of so many seniors. The needs we have assisted with have been everything from respite care for exhausted family members, to meals for seniors delivered with a smile, to research on fall prevention, to assistive devices for seniors who have recently lost their vision. I'm so privileged and grateful that I have the opportunity to help them, and be a part of an organization with so many fine people on the board.

If you're someone involved with caring for a senior, or a professional working with seniors, you might consider purchasing one of the books, Stages of Senior Care. The money benefits the Home Instead Senior Care foundation, and it's filled with excellent material.

Here's the link for their website: http://homeinsteadseniorcarefoundation.org
(I'm afraid you'll have to cut and paste since I can't seem to get the link working. Sorry!)

Budget Tips

About five years ago, I began to realize what a dangerous thing an ATM card is. It was so easy to spend, and hard to track expenses. I would get to the end of the month and go to transfer money into my savings and discover I didn't have any to transfer. I couldn't believe it! Something was happening to my money! I began to add up all the ATM expenses and try to categorize them. I was SHOCKED at how much money I was spending, and how little accountability I had as I did so.

Knowing that life was changing dramatically due to divorce, drastically reduced income, and the loss of a business I had spent years building up, I decided life needed to change. I put my ATM card into the safe and set up a budget. I established a savings account linked to my checking account. I set up my bills to be paid automatically, and I set up automatic transfers into three separate savings accounts. Tithing and Savings came first, bills second. Each month I would take my check, keep part in cash and put the rest in the bank. The cash portion I divided up in a small portfolio...food, gas, clothing, eating out, entertainment, household expenses, etc. I was determined I wouldn't spend more than I had set aside.

It took me a few months to figure out what amounts were reasonable. Then, odd things began happening. I started to realize that I would go to Target and put things in my basket without too much thought. I would get to the counter and realize...wait, this book I want to purchase exceeds the $20 I set aside for books each month...do I take the extra from food? Or from household expenses? Or maybe I don't even need this book? And these cookies that were on sale...if I buy them, then next week, I'll be $6short on my food budget...can I live with that? If I buy this shirt Laine wants now, I won't be able to buy the shoes that Joe needs next week.

When the kids would beg me to go out to eat at the Plaza, I would look in our portfolio and realize I had $35 left in that budget category, and three weeks to go in the month. I would tell them what we had left and let them decide what to do. Most of the time,they would say, let's go home and eat, or get tacos from Del Taco.

In other words, spending money became not habit, but carefully considered decisions, not just for me, but for the whole family. I DRAMATICALLY increased my savings and reduced my spending by almost half. And more often than not, I get to the end of the month now and realize I have cash left over, which I then save for a rainy day. And given that my income from the sale of the business runs out next year, and I'll be starting back at college in January, and I'm launching a new business, I suspect we'll be having a few of those rainy days in the not too distant future.

I keep the ATM card in my wallet now. I pay for gas with it, and that's pretty much it. I'm grateful that even though it's been hard, I know I'm doing the right thing. I've paid off my credit card debt. All I have left are the house payments. I'm even working on those! I will pay off my house 11 years early at this rate. Of course, I know that rate of repayment will likely be drastically reduced while I'm in school, but I can live with that.

Cherish

I've seen it a hundred times, maybe even more. The way a husband, wrinkled and worn from the cares of this world, holds tight to the hand of his wife as he looks with concern toward her. The caress of a wife as her husband of 48 years lies bedridden in hospital. The unspoken words that pass in a multitude of ways between a couple devoted to one another.

My own grandparents were an explosive couple. (Aren't they cute in this photo?) French Canadian and hot tempered, words flew between them like mad hornets. Yet I remember them speaking sweet words of love in French to one another as well, and singing love songs in both languages. They never went anywhere in public when they weren't holding hands. And while the words were often filling up the spaces of their life, plenty was said in the moments when no words were spoken at all.

What I love about these older couples is the sense that they not only love one another, but that they cherish one another. From my perspective, while our society is in love with being in love, we have forgotten what it is to cherish. That is what touches me so much about the moments I witness, at church, in hospitals, at restaurants, in senior villages...anywhere, really. The sense of accepting and loving a person as they have been, as they are right now, and as they will be tomorrow.

It's not just couples that should cherish one another. Brothers, sisters, friends...there are so many people in our lives that we have been blessed with. Time on this earth is short. And what we have of our time should be invested in truly discovering one another, letting ourselves be discovered, and learning to treasure our differences, our similarities, our connectedness.

For some of us, myself included, putting ourselves out there feels almost too risky, particularly after we've been hurt. However, relationships and people are worth it. The way that some people love is different from the way that we ourselves love. I try to remember in my own life that none of us "deserves" love...love is a gift! It is a gift that should be cherished.

Being Grateful

I've started trying to put one or more posts up each day on facebook about things I am grateful for. I find it easy to find things to be grateful for but sometimes I find myself being repetitive in my prayers about the core things that make me thank God, and I'm trying to branch out and see his hand more effectively in all that I do.

This week, I misplaced an important file. I normally keep this file in a safe because it has so many critical things in it. But I took it out to put some items in, and got distracted while doing so. When I went to put it back, the other items in the safe got jumbled, and I knew it would take some time to put it all back together so that the file would fit. I didn't want to leave the file on the table because I'm paranoid about losing it. I brilliantly thought of a place that the thieves would never think of looking, and then went to pick up the kids.

It was one of those days where I was running back and forth between schools, activities, events, and getting my daughter ready for camp. I forgot about the file, and didn't think of it again until I went to the safe to retrieve something and realized my file wasn't there. I scoured the house from top to bottom and couldn't locate it. I thought of who might have moved it. I even dug through the trash (and found my pampered chef knife in amongst the pumpkin mess! Thank you Father for knowing that I would have lost my mind without it!) and the recycling bins. I queried the children. I even wondered if someone had managed to steal it after all. I had prayed many times, including prayers that I might regain my former "brilliance" and remember where I had put it. Finally, instead of just praying, I listened. I had the feeling to go look in the kitchen. I began looking inside of things, under things, behind things. I gave up once, but then felt that I needed to keep looking in the kitchen. At long last, I found where I had put it!

I loudly and with great heartfelt gratitude gave God all the credit for locating the file. It's clear that I've lost way too many brain cells over the years (maybe I gave them all to my smart children!). The only way I found it is by finally having the faith and humility to rely on God to guide me instead of my aging and tired brain. When we rely on God to guide us, the results are always better than if we try to rely on our own faculties.

I'm so grateful for my boys who helped me search for the file. I'm grateful that in the process of looking, Heavenly Father spared me from losing a kitchen tool I use every day. I'm so thankful for prayer. I appreciate being taught humility and faith, even though I have to keep learning those lessons over and over. I'm grateful that I found the file! I'm also thankful that in the process of looking for the file that a little cleaning got done.

See what one little incident can do for gratitude?

Halloween!

Here are the masterpieces created by my kids...from back to front, it's Johnny's, Laine's, Joseph's and Kelly's. Kelly's tree is pretty cool. I also thought making the pumpkin face upside down was a clever idea, which is what Joe did with his. He also made the hole big enough that he could put it on his head...on purpose. Laine's pumpkin was a happy little face, and Johnny's pumpkin was scary with lots of holes poked in and the word "kill" for effect.


Here's Joe's costume...he thought of it himself. I didn't have to buy anything he wouldn't normally wear except the goggles. He's a steamship captain. Pretty cool, huh?


Here's Johnny's costume...he was an explorer. Hat, backpack, rope, jeans and a jacket.


Kelly was "struck by lighting." A little face paint, some messed up hair, raggedy clothes and she was all set!

Laine refused to let us take her photo. Makes me sad!

Halloween evening, we stayed home to greet our trick-or-treaters (4 - a record!) and Johnny decorated like crazy. We put our artificial Christmas tree out on the porch, and Johnny put orange lights on it and some "candy corn" lights, too. He hung orange streamers straight down from the cross bar so trick-or-treaters had to walk through it to get to the door. Our screen door was covered with a huge spiderweb. Besides the jack-o-lanterns, we had luminaries. Fun, fun, fun!

An Answer

Last Thursday and today were similar days in some respects. Laine missed school in the morning to go to the doctor's office for 3 hour tests. The first was lactose intolerance, and we determined on Thursday that Laine was not lactose intolerant. Today, we were testing for fructose intolerance (or fructose malabsorption). Last week, we got out at 12:00 because we had a negative result. Today, we got out at 11 because our result was POSITIVE. Her body has difficulty processing fructose, resulting in gas, diarrhea, nausea and stomach cramps. I have a lot to learn about how to modify our diet to make Laine more comfortable. This Thursday we visit the allergist to find out if there's an allergy component to her problems. Thanks everyone, for your prayers!

The first pumpkin pie

I couldn't resist...I already had the oven hot from baking potatoes, and so had to indulge my desire for pumpkin pie. I made two regular ones and with the leftover filling, made a small one with no crust. I ate the small one hot and steamy. Mmmmm! Naturally, like any momma bird, I had four little birds with mouths wide open for samples. (Okay, so maybe they weren't so little...)

Before you start getting all impressed, I didn't make the crust myself, and the filling was made from canned pumpkin. Nevertheless, the children and I enjoyed it immensely! Next up on the pumpkin agenda...pumpkin bread and pumpkin cookies!

I love baking...it gives me something to share with friends and family and helps me cope with life's stresses, big or small.

Finishing Furniture

I had to take the plunge and buy the boys a new dresser. They needed a long dresser with lots of drawers, and my favorite unfinished furniture store had a great deal on a big dresser. So it's sitting in the room, waiting for me to get started on one of my favorite tasks...finishing furniture!

I first discovered this shortly after my husband and I were separated six years ago. We were going through some very trying, fearful times in our family, and the dining room table, which had been used for 20 years when we bought it 13 years ago, was worn, ugly looking, and full of impressions from the kids' homework through the years. As I sorted through my life with all its frustrations, thought through the options for our future, and sought to keep myself from going absolutely insane, I decided to sand off all the finish and start over. It was physical, messy and exactly what I needed. Originally, I thought I would try to make the table light colored (instead of it's original mahogany), but it turned out that the knots were too darkly stained to look attractive, so I ended up putting the mahogany on anyway, after sanding the table yet again.

During the process of doing all this, I pondered many things and prayed often. I thought about why I always seemed to choose men who were bad for me. I thought about all the anger and frustration I'd experienced at the hands of people who were supposed to care about me. I considered why I hadn't thought to stand up for myself or anyone else until those actions were directed at the children. I looked often at the picture of Christ that hangs in our dining room and thought about the qualities I and the children needed in our home. I made resolutions and promises to myself then that I still think about each time we eat at that table. I intended that love, happiness, prayer and peace (note: I did not say "peace and quiet!")would be found in our home, along with laughter, encouragement, and understanding. I would stamp out criticism and lack of respect. I determined that should I find someone that was insane enough to WANT to marry me, I would look for certain things...a desire to serve others quietly and without fanfare, a Christlike love and tenderness, a strong faith, patience and kindness. (Is there such a man?? If there is, why is he single? ) Most importantly to me, whoever I marry must love my children with all their gifts, talents, faults and idiosyncrasies.

The table when it was finished looked amazing. It was imperfect, and you could tell it wasn't done by a professional, but the important thing was that I had done it, and to me it was a symbol of my personal progress. I was grateful for the ache in my arms, the soreness of my back, the stain in my hair, and my fingernails that I just couldn't get clean. To me they were badges of honor, and proof that I had worked (and thought) hard.

Ever since that time, I have finished several pieces of furniture. None of them have turned out perfectly, but each one is a joy to me. It takes a generic piece of furniture and makes it ours. The kids enjoy helping me, and the drips on the sides, or the unevenness of the stain are hardly relevant. I am after all, raising children and not selling furniture. :-)

Am I crazy or what?

I have decided to go back to university. Actually, I decided it a year ago in April. May 2009, I quit my job to help my kids get started in middle school and high school respectively, then I planned to start back at college in the spring semester of 2010. Because money is an issue, Fresno State was really my only option.

I ended up dealing with some complicated issues...my son really struggled in middle school and was diagnosed with ADD and anxiety, and we spent every night from the time he got home from school until 11 or midnight trying to complete his homework, which he could only do with me sitting right there redirecting him. In addition, my youngest daughter had some digestive issues that became dramatically worse last year, and we were spending considerable time at the doctor's offices. Fresno State refused to take applications for the Spring semester due to budgetary constraints, which was probably just as well for me...I don't know if I could have handled all that was going on and attended school, too. Then we received a possible diagnosis for Laine, that she might have Krohn's disease. Not knowing for sure whether she did or didn't, or what kind of medical management that would require from me, I opted to hold off applying to Fresno State in the fall.

Over the summer, it was determined that Laine did not have Krohn's disease (even though her test came back positive), and then I heard that Fresno State was accepting applications for the Spring semester. I applied, and I've just received word that they've accepted me!!!

I keep thinking about how crazy my schedule is...managing the kids and their various activities, starting a business, working on several non-profit projects, church...am I crazy to think I can do this? Please, if you're the praying sort, please pray for me.

Christmas Musings

Every year around this time, I think, "Yikes! Christmas is coming!"

When I was younger, before children, I always thought I'd raise kids who got a few gifts for Christmas, but nothing too expensive, and that we'd take all the REST of the money and use it to bless the lives of others and do service.

Then I got married. Patrick already had Erin by that time, and she had five years of Santa, tons of presents from her mom, from her dad, from her uncle, from her grandparents. And so when we had our own children, we let Santa visit, and gave gifts, too.

With things so tight in our economy and in my budget, I keep thinking (for the past three years now) that maybe I can get the kids to sign on board for minimal gifts for us and more serving of others. The last two years, no go. This year when I started to offer the thought to my son Joe, he said in a very mature way, "Mom, I gotta be honest...I LIKE getting presents." ((sigh))

Do I put my foot down, say one gift for everyone and do what I want? Or do I let them hold on to the traditional Christmas for as long as it takes for them to come around? Next year, I may not have much choice, depending on how my business is growing (or not) by then.

Part of my attitude is that I REALLY dislike shopping. I have friends that joke that I'm more of a guy than a girl in this department. When I go shopping (unless it's for books), there's no browsing, no excitement over making purchases...it's all agony to me. Spending money on things that will get broken, outgrown, misplaced or stolen seems like such a waste. We already have too much stuff!! And I hate it.

Part of my attitude is that I'm really a social moron about choosing gifts. I am terrible at selecting things others want. I have limited success even with my own children. I usually let THEM pick out what they want, then I don't have to 1) spend as much time shopping and 2) get that "what is THIS?" look when they unwrap it.

And finally, another part (the biggest part) of my attitude is that I really prefer doing for others....serving makes my heart glad and brings happiness to others. I want my children to love blessing others, too. I feel guilty buying things we really don't need when others can't buy the things they need or Christmas gifts. Serving is what Christmas, and life, are really all about.

Somehow, I have to find a happy medium.

September 11, 2001

‎9 years ago today, I stood with my 5 year old daughter Kelly on the blacktop at Del Mar Elementary School. Johnny was in his snuggie barely 6 months old, still sleepy and all bundled up. Laine, 2, was in the stroller and Joe was holding on my hand. the sky was a brilliant blue and the flag against the sky was so beautiful. As was the custom at Del Mar, when the bell rang, everyone together recited the pledge of allegiance. That morning it seemed every parent had come with their child. None of us could hold back the tears completely. That early in the morning, no one was sure what exactly had happened. All we knew was that our nation was under attack.

I tried to keep the TV off for much of the day time, so the kids would not have excessive stress, but at night, I couldn't tear myself away from the human drama unfolding. My heart was deeply sorrowed over what was happening. Any patriotic song could set tears rolling down my face. I was alone and frightened. Prayer became ever more important to me as I learned to rely on God's grace to get me through each day.

Patrick was traveling out of state on an extended multi-state sales trip. It was his phone call to me that alerted me to what was happening. I was managing the household and worrying over his safety. In the days following the attacks, everyone was a bit nervous and were concerned about other types of attacks occurring. Through an open window one night, I smelled chemical fumes. I was very concerned. I closed the windows and called the Sheriff. They determined that a neighbor had been using a chemical pesticide outdoors.

Since September 11th, I have found that my country and defending my country have meant so much more to me. Reciting the pledge of allegiance that day stays in my heart today. I have also been more inclined to be active politically, and I try to stay involved. I fear too many people who live here don't see the precious gift we have in America, our freedoms truly granted by God, together with all the resourcefulness of this great nation. Too many people are becoming dependent on the government to take care of them, and as they forsake their ability to choose their own life, they also forsake what made this country great. In the current political climate, there is increasingly more divisiveness and hatred being promulgated at all levels, particularly in the media.

When are we going to permanently learn the lesson we partly experienced that terrible September day and in the weeks following? It is in loving and supporting one another; being individually resourceful and self-reliant; returning to morality as a basis for our nation; recognizing the gift of freedom that we have and wanting others to have it, too; reaching out to help others with a hand up, not a hand out; in being one nation, regardless of skin color, religion, or political party; until these lessons are embedded in our hearts, our nation, like those towers, can fall down around us.

Every year I remember those who died from the attacks on September 11th by flying my flag. I think I'll do that every year until I die. It was a defining moment (perhaps even THE defining moment) in my life when I realized how truly tenuous our hold is on everything that is good, and flying my flag on that day pledges my allegiance not only to my country, but to the God that guided her establishment. May God bless those families who lost loved ones that day, and may God bless America.

Footprints

When I look at this photo, I am reminded of our family's obsession with feet. It seems we are always taking pictures of our feet, usually in a circle wherever we are. Our shoes say so much about each of us. Stinky feet are common in our household, and it gets worse with prolonged wearing of shoes, so most of the time we're barefoot whenever we can. Of course, that leads to another problem...dirty feet. Can't have everything I guess!

This photo was taken at the beach. We each left our impression and then took a photo before the waves washed it away. It was loads of fun trying to get it all done in time. We had a blast!

I often think that our families and friends leave footprints in our hearts. We are in one another's lives, whether or not by choice, and we all have our characteristics and challenges that sometimes can drive those we live with and love absolutely batty. We also, hopefully, have positive traits that make life more meaningful and happy. Some people dance in our hearts leaving delightful memories and joyous, light prints. There are those who run into our lives and just as quickly dash back out, their prints giving us brief, brilliant connections. Others take a leisurely stroll, walking side by side with us through a variety of challenges, steady, careful, and loving. Sometimes we encounter those who clown around, and bring laughter and silliness into our hearts. Then there are individuals who stomp around and leave deep scars and impressions that can't easily be washed away.

Just ask yourself: What kind of footprints are you leaving?

Which came first?

Chickens! Eggs! In our case, I happen to know it was the chickens...little itty bitty fluff balls that have turned into productive, happy hens. We have nine...two barred rocks, three americauna's, and four rhode island reds. After the chickens came the eggs...tons of them! Our eggs are brown, pink and green. We keep the yard free of chemicals and we don't feed our chickens anything that doesn't come from the earth, and it goes without saying that I don't inject them with any antibiotics. They're healthy, happy and organic!

I built the coop myself. I had NO idea what I was doing, and I had never built anything out of wood by myself. I think it turned out pretty well. It has a roost on on the left side as you're looking at it, and on the right are the nesting boxes. They stay in the coop overnight for safety, and they remain in the coop until about 3in the afternoon when the dogs go in their kennel and the chickens get free run of yard. The chickens put themselves in the coop at night...all we have to do is close the door and secure it.

We have found that chickens are quite fun...watching them run is hilarious, as they run like girls in high heels. And when one finds a grub or some other treat in the yard and tries to sneak off to eat it alone somewhere, invariably one of the other chickens spots it and there's a squawking, maniacal race across the yard. They will hop up to pick berries or cherries or any other yummy looking fruit. They dig holes (worse than dogs, I tell ya!) and they keep pests and weeds under control.

What I love best about chickens is what they teach me about life. No matter how dusty or worthless a spot appears to be to me, those chickens will keep scratching around in the dirt, certain that if they look long enough, they will find a treat. And what do you know, they're right! Sometimes I need to be reminded that just because it seems like all I'm doing is scratching around in the dirt, I can rest assured that there are "treats" to be found. The blessings are there! They've also taught me that life is full of unexpected things, and that it's best to be prepared to hop, dig, and run on a moment's notice so as to seize the opportunity as it comes.

First Day of School 2010-2011

Here are my little sweeties! Kelly is a sophomore, Joe is an 8th grader, Laine is in 6th grade, and Johnny is in 4th. We feel a bit frazzled, as we always do on the first day of school, but it will pass. Love to all my friends and family out there!

Dragonflies and thieves

Today has been an up and down day for me. I woke up just before my alarm went off this morning to the sound of a bunch of marbles falling from Johnny's bed to the floor, or so I thought. When I went into the boys' room to wake them up, I realized there wasn't any debris on the floor, and immediately knew it was something else. I opened the front door, and sure enough, the passenger side window on my car had been shattered. I knew without looking that my purse had been stolen. Car locked, porch light on, alarm set, parked near my front door, and still, we'd been robbed.

I called the sheriff and began making the string of calls necessary to cancel credit cards and my ATM card, stopping payment on checks, ordering replacement everything. Kelly was leaving for youth conference this morning, so we had to arrange alternate transportation for her to be able to leave on time. In my wallet, critical receipts for medical expenses, cash for food/clothes/school supplies, one of my two rings, an irreplaceable memory card with family photos on it, and who knows what else.

I found myself annoyed not only with the thief, but with the people who asked incredulously...you left your purse in your car? As if it was somehow my fault that some criminal decided that what was mine should be his/hers and broke my car window to obtain it. Our society's morals and values have deteriorated to the point that the victim gets blamed for what the criminal does. Yes, it would have been responsible of me to bring my purse in and not TEMPT that poor helpless thief in the first place but I forgot. How does that make me the bad guy? Maybe it does. Or perhaps it's kind of like asking if I'm my brother's keeper?

Yet today, I have been reminded again and again how blessed I am. Orange dragonflies that brought to mind the beauty of the earth; The painful images of the families in China trying to find flood survivors that made me realize how much I truly have to be grateful for; The peace I felt knowing that I had followed the recommendations of the prophet and had emergency cash as well as a food supply to get me through the end of the month; The support of wonderful friends and family to help me take care of the thousands of details; A family home evening lesson by my 11 year old daughter on serving others; The blessing of discovering that what I had initially thought might be an expensive repair on my cooler turned out to be an easy (and free) fix; And yes, even the actions of a thief, who is helping me to be humble without even knowing it. I'm sure there are many, many more lessons to be learned (and relearned) as I examine this day.

How grateful I am for the church and its blessings in my life. I know God loves me and is patiently teaching me. I hope that whatever the purpose of this event in my life, that it may also be an instrument in the life of the thief to somehow bring him or her to God. And I hope that whether the Lord sends me dragonflies or thieves, that I will be humble and willing enough to listen.

Davis, CA - Our visit with Erin & Nick

We went to Davis to hang out with Erin and Nick. We walked the streets of Davis, spent some time wandering around the campus, bowled, laughed and giggled, and did a little unpacking. The kids LOVE their sister and her husband, as well as their two adorable dogs, Gracie and Widget. We all really liked Davis. It's very pedestrian and bike friendly, and has lots of public transportation. There are lots of interesting places to hang out. I noticed a lot of eastern food...korean, thai, chinese, japanese, etc.

They live in a tiny apartment, so we set up two air mattresses on the floor for the kids and I slept on the couch. It was fun and noisy. I had to explain to the kids what that funny, sickening smell was coming from across the way (pot) as I was running to the bathroom. For some reason that stuff always makes me vomit.


This is Nick at the bowling alley, waiting for his turn. He's always very patient with the kids, even when they're having issues. Not that that ever happens. (ahem)



This is Erin, displaying her usual sunny and wonderful disposition. She is an amazing young lady, and it's fun to see her move in a new direction as she gets ready to start her first semester at Davis. We all adore her!!



Joe and Johnny were stuck on my team. We all rolled LOTS of gutter balls.



One of the highlights for the kids was being able to take bubble baths in Erin's bathtub. We don't have a bath tub at our house...all showers, so they really like to play when they have the chance.

San Francisco Area

Anyone who knows me knows that this is where I feel most at home...anywhere there are trees, creeks, forests, vistas and beauty.

This is a creek in the John Muir wilderness. Beautiful!


Joe and Johnny found a convenient rock to climb. You can just tell these two brothers love each other. Warms my heart!


The kids taking a rest from the hike in the John Muir wilderness. The trees in the area are amazing and beautiful. We heard there were deer, but we didn't see any. We did see lots of people!


A friendly fellow hiker took our picture so I could actually be in a photo with the kids. We thought these trees were perfect for a nice summer photo. I'd love to come back when it's cold and foggy and see what it looks like here.


Kelly snapped this photo as we went over the Golden Gate Bridge. Did you know there's a "bridge thermometer" that shows the level of the bridge as the temperature gets warmer and colder? The expansion and contraction of the support wires makes the bridge rise when it's cold and lower when it's warm. Pretty cool, huh? I love science.


We walked down to the waterfront from the Golden Gate Visitor's Center and followed the shoreline to check out these boats/ships. We went on a big sail boat and the tug boat. Johnny and I could have spent all day exploring these. That's me in the green jacket, by the way. :-) Nice view of my back.


The kids in front of a statue in the park.


We really enjoyed exploring the community garden. It was full of flowers and vegetables and was quite a miserable reminder to me of how much I stink at gardening, even though I love it. Aren't those red poppies amazing?


The kids were playing dead here. (Don't ask me...it was their idea.)


Joe practicing his oration skills near the statue of the senator. He looks pretty convincing, huh? Joe was saying, "Whoa...my hands are made out of cement!" We all laughed.

Tick-tock, tick-tock

Are we really at the last two weeks of no school? ((sigh)) I remember as a kid, I LOVED school and couldn't wait for it to start. I even took summer school, and not because I had to. But now as a mom, I treasure the days of summer. I love having my kids home all day, and having the freedom to let them sleep late, or go do things on impulse. This is likely to be my last summer that I'll be able to be at home with them all day, so it's a bittersweet time, to say that least.

With kids in four different schools, life during the school year gets hectic and crazy. Managing homework, projects, meetings at schools, events, extra-curricular activities, early morning seminary, scouts, mutual, piano lessons, practice, and the daily grind of life...it can all be just a bit much. Every minute is scheduled, every moment is precious. Watching these beautiful children grow up right in front of me, seeing time slip away while the kids are doing busywork...it's an emotional thing.

Still, I'm grateful to have smart, funny, talented and loving children who make my heart so very happy. I never knew before I became a mom what that would mean to my heart and soul. Perhaps having children helps us understand what our Father in Heaven feels as he watches us leave his arms and get wrapped up in the business of life. I have been very blessed.

Would you drink from the toilet?

This is our cat Poppy, enjoying a tasty summertime treat! I think he's such a great cat. He is well loved by all of us. He's smart and entertaining. And, I might add, well cared for. He has a big bowl of water up on his favorite window sill, freshened every day for his drinking pleasure. Yet, still, the toilet water. Go figure!

It got me to thinking...do we do this at times? Of course I don't mean literally drinking out of the toilet...but do we sometimes settle for less than we could enjoy if we were willing to go a bit further? Reach (or jump) a little higher? Do we accept the dregs because we haven't opened our eyes to other possibilities?

It's nice to occasionally take stock of where things are in our lives and evaluate them. Are they still important to us? What benefit are they bringing to our lives? Is there something else that would be preferred? Are the people you surround yourself with the kind of people that help you avoid drinking from the toilet? And finally...ask yourself, what small step will I take today to bring my life closer to where I want it to be?

Today. We spend so much effort thinking about what happened yesterday, or worrying about what will happen tomorrow that we lose sight of the power of today. The "right now." Really, that is all we are ever promised. Why spend it drinking from the toilet?

Check out the MOON!

I went out to run a quick errand tonight and discovered the moon in all its glory. Wow! It's moments like that that touch my soul and make me glad for this brief life upon the earth.

My kids always tell me I'm obsessed with the sky, and perhaps they are right. Some of my earliest memories were of stargazing at my grandparents' home in the desert. We would watch for satellites and shooting stars. I'm prone to wake up late at night or in the very early morning, dragging or carrying a half asleep child in one arm and a big comforter in the other out to the backyard. On our backs, cuddled up for warmth (even in the summer), we talk about life, the universe and everything. Almost always we talk about God and our Savior, and the beauty of the world created by them. We, too, look for satellites and shooting stars.

I remember reading in the Bible about the new star that shone on the night Christ was born. I looked out my window on Christmas eve at the stars when I was young, pondering what it must have been like to be present at his birth, to see angels descending from heaven singing praises.

I can also recall many camping trips with the kids. The routine seldom varies. We watch the stars come out from inside our sleeping bags. In our tent we sing hymns and pray and tell scary stories. Ultimately, we always came back to how amazing the universe is, and what God wanted us to know by looking at the works of his hands.

It's not just the night sky, but the day time sky too! Sunrises, sunsets, clouds...they call out to me to pay attention! They say, each in their own unique way, "Be still and know that I am God."

I look to the skies whenever I am in turmoil, or sad, or broken hearted. I find comfort there. I turn to the skies whenever my heart is joyful, and peaceful, and glad, and I find it mirrored there. I am so grateful that the Lord uses his canvas to proclaim his love and concern. Check out the sky! Who knows what notes He has written there just for you??