The story of Ruth

I've been thinking a lot about the story of Ruth in the Old Testament. I watched a movie about Ruth on Netflix recently, and it touched my heart, so I reread it again from the scriptures, and the story has been staying in my heart this week. When Ruth's husband died, she moved with her mother-in-law to Bethlehem. There she found love, a man who would redeem her from her destitute, foreign status.She and her husband would be ancestors of David and eventually, Jesus himself. For the first time, I read this story with an eye for what the story could teach me about Christ, as well as for the human element. I have learned some deeply treasured spiritual insights that I can't stop thinking about. In addition, as I read the story, I thought about Boaz as a man. Did he realize all that God had in store for him, that he would be one of the ancestors of Christ? Of course not, yet because he was a kind and merciful man, and because God plans for every eventuality, Boaz and Ruth were both able to become more than they probably thought was possible.

Many times in recent years, I've questioned the path my life is taking. In many ways, I have thought to lay some of my dreams aside because I cannot conceive of how some of those things that I envision could ever come to pass. I have struggled with what God's plan is for me. Thanks to my prior Bishop, I opened myself up to possibilities that I thought were dead ends in my life. I allowed hope to creep into my heart. However, the sheer terror I feel when faced with the realization that God may want more for me than I want for myself has almost made me turn my back a number of times. I have tried to sabotage good things in my life, feeling like I do not deserve them. I have visited failure and disappointment so frequently that they are like old friends and sometimes, I would rather face the bleakness and depression every day than take the leap of faith that might lead to more pain and disappointment, or, even more terrifying, lead to a happiness that I just cannot envision.

This line of thinking reminds me of this quote from Mere Christianity, which I've loved for many years.

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.[C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 174; book 4, chapter 9, paragraph 10]


I guess I love it more in theory than in reality, or rather love it and believe it for others that I care about, but have difficulty applying it or accepting it into to my own life. Isn't that strange? Accepting that God can completely transform another's life, but failing to see how it can be true for me as well?


And so, since it's easier to pose these questions of you than of myself, does God want you to have a palace, while you are prepared to accept a cottage? Is it possible that he would use your life to change and transform the lives of others, if only you would let him? And is it possible that he wants greater happiness for you than you have ever dared to dream? What would happen if you let him?