Sneezy

Hello, Spring! I've been on zyrtec for over a month, now. I think it's beginning to lose its effectiveness, though, because the last several days in a row I have been waking up sneezing. I'm not talking about those wimpy, cute little girl sneezes. My sneezes are full-body, gale-force, I-hope-my-bladder-is-empty sneezes.

I'm allergic to pollen, dust, pet dander, soaps, shampoos, conditioners, grasses...you name it, I probably have an allergy to it. I don't get just hay-fever...I get hives with some of my allergies. I itch everywhere, but especially in my throat, nose, ears and on my back. Even though it's awful somedays, I'm really grateful to have zyrtec, though it's only effective right now for about half of the 24 hour period that it's supposed to work for. A few years ago, there were no antihistimines that I could take. Guess why? Because I'm also allergic to anti-histimines and decongestants.

Baby Steps

I've been talking a lot about putting my life in balance. I've debated about telling anyone about what I've been doing to bring everything back into balance, because quite frankly, I was scared I would fail and that everyone would judge me for not making my goals.

I'm still scared of that, to be honest. But I feel like I have made significant progress in a few areas, and I want to share that with others who might be struggling, like me.

First, I wanted to increase my physical activity. I was only walking about a mile a day, and my goal is to get up to five miles a day in cumulative steps. Well, I'm halfway there!! Once I'm walking five miles a day, then I'm going to start adding in some running here and there, provided my knees don't give me too much trouble.

Second, I wanted to lose a significant amount of weight. I tend to use weight to keep people (men especially) at a distance, so I don't risk getting attached to anyone. I realized I've been sabotaging my biggest desire...to have an eternal companion. I'm happy to report that I reached my 25% goal! Not that it's very noticeable yet, but to me, it's a big deal. I plan on sticking with it!

I needed to see an eye doctor, which I have done. I have one eye (my right) that's legally blind without a corrective lens (it hasn't changed since I first got glasses as a youth). However, my left eye more than makes up for the deficit in the right eye. The left eye, though, can't read up close, which my blind eye more than makes up for. Kind of hilarious when you think about it. Except it's not...see, if I wear contacts, then I have to wear reading glasses any time I need to focus up close. If I wear my distance vision glasses (with only one corrective lens...the other is transparent) then I have to keep switching to my reading glasses when I'm trying to look at anything up close. I can't have one pair of glasses with both prescriptions because it would mess up the other eye. Pretty pathetic, huh?

That's it for now...I'll add more later. Tomorrow is my last day of classes for a week, and I can't WAIT! I love college, but I'm exhausted, and I have so many things I need to do around the house...then when we return, I only have five more weeks of the semester to go.

Teaching kindness

My kids have been having a few issues at my home (and many more at Patrick's home) of late with being unkind to one another. My youngest son especially is often the recipient of unkind comments by his siblings and they aren't modeling the behavior the behavior that they are demanding from him. My little boy (actually all of the children) needs positive attention, and a change in attitude.

Johnny is a strong personality, and I think that sense of justice and fairness will serve him well in life if he can learn to route his frustrations into a positive direction. Right now my biggest concern is that he doesn't have any positive male figures in his life that can encourage him or mold him. Unfortunately he and his father don't get along. Patrick makes no secret of the fact that he loves Laine and Joe the most and considers them his favorites. He says lots of negative things to Johnny and incidentally, to Kelly, and what "positivity" he gives to them is surface and not a genuine reflection of the great kids that they are. I know Patrick loves the children, but unfortunately, loving behavior on his part is contingent upon the kids meeting his (often unattainable) expectations. In Johnny's case, he is still a little boy who needs a man who thinks the world of him.

So I'm trying my best to supervise their interactions and reinforce kindness, respect and patience with one another. On family home evening, each person made a sheet that they decorated around the edges and put their name on. We taped this to a window in the kitchen. Each day the children are supposed to write something positive for each person...something nice they saw them do, a compliment about the person, etc. So far, so good.  We may do this each week for a while. I plan on keeping the sheets in their memory boxes.

I've been praying about what to do for ages. Johnny is finally in 11-year old scouts, so hopefully the fact that he has leaders that are men will be helpful. I wish we could still find a way to help at the storehouse during the school year. All of the kids love to serve there, and it's filled with great examples of men who serve the Lord! I'm trying to set aside the guilt I feel for not having a man in the home and just focus on how to help my children. All the children need positive male role models to help them become men and women; they need examples of how Christlike interactions should be between husband and wife and between children and father. At times I feel lost about what I can do about these issues, except pray for help. I've also talked to the Bishop about this. I hope some answers come soon!

Jacob

We were reading in Jacob tonight, about the parable of the olive vineyard. While reading his verses, Joe pauses to insert, "Wow, these vineyard dudes really cared about their trees, huh?" When he had finished his section, I asked him who the Lord of the vineyard in the story was. He said Jesus. I asked him who the trees were, and he didn't know. I told him that the allegory was about Israel and the Gentiles, but reminded him that we are supposed to apply the scriptures to ourselves. I reread to the children that some of us are planted in good soil, some of us are planted in poor soil. The Lord always knows the condition of the soil where we are planted. Those planted in good soil can still bear no fruit, or bear sour fruit. Those who are planted in soil can produce lots of fruit. Whether we produce a little or a lot of fruit depends on us!

I needed to hear this story today. Life is always full of trials, as well as full of blessings. Which am I going to concentrate on? Will my fruit be sweet or sour? I know the Lord provides everything I need.

Today was fast and testimony day. I felt the spirit so strongly today that I spent a large portion of the day crying. I wanted to bear my testimony, too, but I was so emotional, and I hesitated too long. I wanted to talk about Primary, and about how frequently the Lord communicates to my spirit about the needs of particular children. I wanted to testify of his love for each of them, and how strongly I have felt the spirit with the children as we give our lesson during sharing time. I feel so blessed by my calling, by the joy that singing in the choir brings me, and by the stewardship of priesthood leaders in our ward. I am so grateful.

Single Adult Conference Continued

Well, it's a good thing that all the talks were so amazing the past few days because the dance was horrible. I didn't enjoy the music, about half the people left before the dance began, and women outnumbered men by about five to one. Even if I wanted to dance, there was no one to dance with except myself, and I can do that at home.

Nevertheless, the talks made the conference well worth attending. This evening's talk was given by President Maxwell, who discussed the "behind the scenes" stuff for the temple when it was being proposed and approved. It was amazing and touching to hear all the ways the Lord opened up doors for us to get our temple. It made me so glad for the temple and it's blessings, and grateful for the leadership who helped to bring it to the valley.

Awesome talks today at the Singles Conference!

This morning we heard from President and Sister Gelwix at the Single Adult Conference, who both had amazing thoughts to offer all of us. I'll write up my thoughts on that later. But first: the Happiness Advantage!

This workshop is just what I needed to hear! We initially discussed comments people make: "I'll be so happy when I finish school!" Or, "When I get married, then I'll be happy!" Or, "When my kids are all grown up and married in the temple, then I'll be happy!" Or, "I'll be so happy when I make it to the celestial kingdom!"  Many people think that it is success or accomplishing a goal that will bring happiness, but scientists have found that it actually works the other way around. When people are happy, then good things happen!

We reviewed many scientific studies that demonstrate that happy people are more successful, healthier, and able to bounce back quicker after setbacks. (Many of which we have been covering in my psychology classes. Happy people also make more money, achieve more in their careers and have more success socially. (Sign me up, please. :-)) That being said, being happy is hard for some people. We ask, how can we be happy now?

He reminded us that finding happiness is not like flipping a switch...happy, not happy, happy, not happy. It's more of a continuum, and where we are on that continuum is up to us. People who have had traumatic events happen to them find that three months later or a year later, report that they are happy in their new lives. Are things different? Yes, but our happiness is not determined so much by external factors as it is by choosing to be happy wherever you are and whoever you are with.

We also discussed that science has demonstrated that our attitudes follow behavior (flashback to President Gelwix's talk this morning!). If we want to feel happy, we "act" happy....take action that reflects the attitude we want to have, and voila! A happier, more positive outlook!

Brother Fogg also gave us seven principles of happiness:
     1) You can train (or retrain) your brain to be happy. Remember, actions = attitude.
     2) Change your mindset to change your performance. In other words, look at happiness as a mental health exercise and actively seek happiness.
     3) Train yourself to capitalize on the possibilities within your challenges. God gives us challenges that help us build the qualities we need to be our best selves. He also puts people in our lives that bless us and help us.
    4) Knowledge is not enough for change. How many exercise articles have you read? Do you act on all that knowledge? No! The same is true for happiness. Action is required, and so is faith.
    5) You CAN control your own emotions. And remember, happiness is contagious! When others around you are being grumpy, bless them with a little happiness!
    6) Minimize the barriers to change! Find ways to help yourself be happier. Put things that reliably make you smile in your surroundings. Make time in your day to do something that makes you feel positive. Talk to someone who frequently lifts your spirits.
     7) Social support is one of the greatest assets we have. God's purpose for us is happiness, but we were never intended to be happy alone! There is a ripple effect to happiness. That's one of the reasons why we were commanded to meet each week at church. We are meant to help and bless each other. Hold on to those people in your life that make you happy. Invest in them and let them invest in you. Start now!

I'm so glad that I took the time to attend this workshop. I'll probably add more as I remember it!

Single Adult Conference

Tonight there was a single adult temple session after which we were privileged to hear from President Ascraft.

His sweet testimony touched my heart, and as soon as he walked into the room, there was a glow about him that was unmistakable. He related to us about his conversion to the gospel, and what he perceived as his slow progress in the church. He testified that all of our callings and all of our experiences are learning opportunities to gain strength in our testimonies. He reminded us to be patient with ourselves, to love ourselves. He also told us that God loves us more than we know, and forgives us more than we know. He encouraged us to spend more time in the temple and told us that he feels the Lord's Spirit there every time he's in the temple. He mentioned how he had the privilege of closing up the temple at night, and I imagined what that must be like, to be in the temple with just the Lord, and my soul filled with peace. He also reminded us that each time we go, we can learn more deeply about the Lord and his will.

He quoted D&C 50:40-42:

Behold, ye are little children, and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. 
Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; 
And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.


I felt the power of those verses. I even have them marked in my personal scriptures. I remember once after a very emotionally painful experience that I was reading in the scriptures and came across this verse, and felt the spirit enter into my heart and tell me that I was one of Heavenly Father's "little children." I felt his sheltering love at that time, and I recall it each time I read these verses, so it has special significance to me. I particularly liked how President Ashcraft repeated the last verse. I can't describe it but it was so powerful to me.

I was grateful to be there tonight among friends for a spiritual kick-off to what I hope will be a wonderful weekend.

Writing My Fingers to the Bone

The past two weeks I have been writing almost continuously. I have had two reflective journal entries (about 2 pages each), 2 papers for social psychology (one I'm finishing tonight) that run about 5 pages each, an article review for my Applied Behavior Analysis class that was 5 pages long, a summary for a research presentation I attended that was one page long, several posts for blackboard group projects, and another research paper due on Monday that will likely be about 7 to 10 pages long. We also have a power point presentation due for my developmental psychology class on Monday. This is interspersed with about 4 quizzes, 3 tests, 2 written homework assignments and meeting with my advisers to finish my graduation plan.

I think I'm tired.

Van Trouble

My "get your van to the shop quick before it blows up" light came on Tuesday afternoon. I drug out my owner's manual and noted that it indicated that my emission control system was malfunctioning so early on Wednesday I dropped my car off at dealership, asking them to check my brakes, check my steering (hard to turn sometimes) as well as my sliding door that was having difficulties opening in addition to checking the emission control system.

They called me in the afternoon to report that some part of the emission control system did need to be replaced, as did the actuator in the door. Both were covered under the extended warranty everyone told me not to buy. This is the second time that I've used the warranty and altogether, I've saved $2500 over and above what I paid for the warranty. They also told me that the power steering problem was covered under a recall. I had to pay for the brakes and even that they gave me a discount on. Apparently, even though the emission control system is covered, the bolts that attach the part I needed weren't covered, so I had to pay for that as well. My total bill for repairs was about $300 (ouch!) for about $1500 worth of repairs.

The bad news is that I have a number of maintenance things that need to be taken care of. The total on all of those if I were to do them today would be nearly $2,000. My car is supposed to tell me when I need these services, but apparently there's some kind of malfunction in that system as well. I asked the service desk to prioritize them and I'll do them as I can afford them.

I had to rent a car for the two days my car would be in the shop. Let me tell you, driving a Toyota Yaris makes me infinitely grateful for my Odyssey. I hope God continues to bless my little van and keeps it (and the passengers) safe!

The Madhouse

So yesterday was St. Patrick's Day and the kids and I had our traditional St. Patrick's Day meal. We had cabbage, steamed carrots, potatoes, my homemade rolls, and of course, corned beef!

 That's not all we had. Somehow, we ended up on the topic of funny things to name your pet. This discussion had me laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe and my tummy hurt. Some examples: "I'm sexy." The kids imagined yelling this out the front door: "I'm sexy! Come here!" The one that almost required me being rushed to the hospital was "Mybut." I didn't think it was that funny until Joe said, "Can you imagine asking one of your friends to take care of your dog while you were gone? I mean, 'hey, Joe, could you please take care of Mybut while I'm gone?'" Why that struck me as so hysterical, I have no idea, but I kept chuckling every time I thought of Joe saying that. Maybe it was the chocolate cake with green frosting that gave us all a sugar high....

I went to the store to get bandages (really, really big bandages) as my knee is apparently not done making a mess. I did pretty well with pain management yesterday until the late afternoon when I realized that my back and neck and knees were pretty painful. We managed to tidy the house a bit even though very little yardwork was accomplished. I also had to go shopping for some essentials and take Laine to the library for some books on William Shakespeare.

The kids took advantage of the rainy weather to spend extra time messing around on the computer. On Friday night, we experienced a storm-related electrical outage, and we drug out all the candles and had them scattered throughout the house. The first words out of Joe's mouth were, "Oh, no! You mean we have to talk to each other?" Haha! (I've determined that I have a lot of really junky flashlights but a lot of really great candles.) The kids learned firsthand that you have to have the candles above you to be able to see and that putting them right next to what they were working on resulted in less light overall. They spent some time reading scary stories and trying to play various games before the power came on. It was a pretty memorable evening!