Teaching kindness

My kids have been having a few issues at my home (and many more at Patrick's home) of late with being unkind to one another. My youngest son especially is often the recipient of unkind comments by his siblings and they aren't modeling the behavior the behavior that they are demanding from him. My little boy (actually all of the children) needs positive attention, and a change in attitude.

Johnny is a strong personality, and I think that sense of justice and fairness will serve him well in life if he can learn to route his frustrations into a positive direction. Right now my biggest concern is that he doesn't have any positive male figures in his life that can encourage him or mold him. Unfortunately he and his father don't get along. Patrick makes no secret of the fact that he loves Laine and Joe the most and considers them his favorites. He says lots of negative things to Johnny and incidentally, to Kelly, and what "positivity" he gives to them is surface and not a genuine reflection of the great kids that they are. I know Patrick loves the children, but unfortunately, loving behavior on his part is contingent upon the kids meeting his (often unattainable) expectations. In Johnny's case, he is still a little boy who needs a man who thinks the world of him.

So I'm trying my best to supervise their interactions and reinforce kindness, respect and patience with one another. On family home evening, each person made a sheet that they decorated around the edges and put their name on. We taped this to a window in the kitchen. Each day the children are supposed to write something positive for each person...something nice they saw them do, a compliment about the person, etc. So far, so good.  We may do this each week for a while. I plan on keeping the sheets in their memory boxes.

I've been praying about what to do for ages. Johnny is finally in 11-year old scouts, so hopefully the fact that he has leaders that are men will be helpful. I wish we could still find a way to help at the storehouse during the school year. All of the kids love to serve there, and it's filled with great examples of men who serve the Lord! I'm trying to set aside the guilt I feel for not having a man in the home and just focus on how to help my children. All the children need positive male role models to help them become men and women; they need examples of how Christlike interactions should be between husband and wife and between children and father. At times I feel lost about what I can do about these issues, except pray for help. I've also talked to the Bishop about this. I hope some answers come soon!