Eternal Things

This week has been EFY at home - meaning that instead of the kids traveling to Utah or somewhere else, they stay here in Fresno and have the same program but sleep at home every night. There are classes, scripture study, singing, games, fun, dancing...they keep the kids so busy that they come home exhausted and happy. So from 9a to 9p, Joe and Kelly have been spending their time at the West Stake Center.

Dropping them off every day and picking them up every night is so much fun, mostly because I get to see our beautiful temple every day. The people who take care of the grounds of the temple do such an amazing job! And it lifts my heart to know the good work that takes place inside those well-loved walls. I think of all the people who work to make our small little temple so beautiful and pleasant, but mostly I am grateful to the Lord that he saw fit to give our area its own temple. I remember driving with the kids every week to the temple grounds as it was being built. I have a photo of the kids (Kelly and Joe) turning over a shovel-full of dirt for the temple. We would go to the temple every Sunday after church to see what progress had been made. I remember watching with Kelly, Joe, and Laine (who was just a baby) as the angel Moroni was put on the top of the spire. And I remember vividly the dedication of the temple, and seeing the prophet Gordon B Hinckley, the only prophet I had ever seen in person. I also remember visiting the temple grounds and doing sessions in the midst of one of the most difficult periods of my life, and the peace and love I felt there.

I'm looking forward to Laine turning twelve on July 5th. She will be old enough to visit the temple for the first time and do baptisms for the dead. Then I will be able to be within the walls of the temple with three of my children! (Well, four if Erin and Nick were closer!) I imagine how it will be when all four of the younger group can attend. I think of Erin and Nick getting sealed someday soon. I think of the blessings of doing temple work for our families, of which there is a LOT to do since I am the only member on my side of the family, and the kids' father's side has a lot to be done as well. The blessing of the gospel and the atonement of Christ is that we get to be together as a family eternally if we repent, endure to the end, and believe!

I attended the missionary farewell this last Tuesday. President and Sister Gonzales are going home, and they and several of the missionaries bore testimonies at the meeting. I was really touched by the last elder, who said that the atonement means everything to him, and to be able to share what Christ has done for all of us with the people in his mission area has meant the world. Really, all the things that we have going on in our lives, all the little frustrations and difficulties mean very little unless we let all these things improve our focus on Jesus and his atoning sacrifice. This is why the world was created...to bring all of God's children home to him.

I am so grateful for this knowledge, and the blessings of the gospel in my life. I love my Savior and I pray that he will help me become more like him. I also hope that he will touch the hearts of everyone I love and help them find their way to him. Have a truly wonderful day!

Time out!

Ahhh! So after our last little bit of rain last week, I discovered that my roof is leaking in several places in the breezeway (our SPCA - special place for Cavanaugh's animals) between the house and the garage.  Then my battery went out on my car. The charging outlet on my laptop has almost completely fallen apart, leaving me holding the cord in as I'm working so that my computer will keep working long enough to finish my work. And for the last several weeks I've been struggling with a dishwasher that would not drain. Today, I discovered that my impeller is out and that fixing my 13 year old dishwasher will cost me about $50 less than buying a new one.

Can you say S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D? I knew you could.

I'm singing "Count your many blessings" and trying to remember all the ways I've been blessed. Sing it with me!!! I can't hear you! Louder!

Furry Farewell

We had to say goodbye to our cat Hailey yesterday. We got Hailey when she was about a year old from the Cat House on the Kings. We actually got two cats at that time...Timmy for Joe's 9th birthday and Hailey for Laine's 7th birthday, which were just week apart. The two cats were brother and sister, and were inseparable. When we brought them home, we discovered much to our dismay that the cats had ringworm. We had to lock the kitties up in the bathroom until all signs of it were completely gone, which took about a month. During that month, we also discovered that Hailey had an eating disorder. She would lay by her bowl and eat non-stop if we let her, so we resorted to feeding the cats only once per day.

They used to run around the house playing tag with each other. If the cats were sleeping you could bet that they'd be sleeping next to one another. Hailey was a homebody, but Timmy was a daredevil and would run for the door as soon as it opened. This resulted in Timmy being hit by a car about 3 years ago, and many sad hearts at the Cavanaugh household. Hailey's digestive problems caused her to have stinky diarrhea most of the time, and finally after too long with the cat litter box not being cleaned properly, I finally decided that we needed to let the cats be indoor/outdoor cats and let them do their business outside.

That's when Hailey met her brother from another mother, Roshi...our next door neighbor's cat. She also became enthralled with the children who live next door, who just loved to feed her by hand (we used to call it popping bon-bons).  Hailey took to hanging out at our neighbors' yard with her new best friend Roshi more than at our home. But if it was cold or wet, she would come begging at our door since our neighbors wouldn't let her in. She would also come running if they were on vacation. Food was suddenly accessible all the time to her (we have a cat friendly neighborhood), and she began to rack up the pounds. Soon it became impossible for her to clean herself, and several times when she was filthy, she would work her way to our house to be washed by her happy-to-see-her children owners, who clipped her backside and washed her up.

Laine bemoaned the "loss" of her cat to the neighbors, but knew she could visit her anytime she wanted. And when she came over, she purred and preened for all of us. Then Thursday after about a three month absence, Hailey suddenly showed up at our front door. I bent down to scratch her ears and noticed that she was bleeding a little and smelled atrocious. Upon examination, we discovered that she had a deep circular wound on her upper thigh/buttock area, and it was clearly infected and crawling with maggots. When she walked, she couldn't put weight on her back leg, and her backside was filthy. I cleaned her up a little and decided to see what the new day would bring before making a decision about what to do.

All night and into the morning, she kept crying out. She had made her way into the back yard and was moving from place to place, only about 8 to 10 inches at a time before she would collapse. She was bleeding very profusely, and clearly in a lot of pain. I realized that the situation was beyond help. A friend helped me load her into the car, and I had to take her to the SPCA to be euthanized. I thought my heart would break. I couldn't even speak to the desk clerk because I was so upset. When I told the children, they were all sad, but the saddest of all was little Laine, who had loved her fatty cat with all of her heart.

I told her that now Hailey and Timmy are together again, probably playing tag and sleeping side by side. Poor Roshi is heartbroken and won't stop crying for his friend. I know Hailey's in a much happier place now, but we'll miss our furry family member.

A Tale of Love

To look at them, you would think they've been married 50 or more years. They hold hands everywhere they go. They finish each other's sentences.  Sometimes instead of words, they just give one another a knowing smile.  He knows what she likes, she knows what he likes, and habits, like gossamer spider webs, are woven throughout their lives. However, I knew this dear lady and her first husband who died shortly after we were introduced. In fact I sometimes still call her by her previous married name, a fact which makes her laugh, and her current husband say, "Well, he got her first." The twinkle in his eye as he grabs his wife's hand and kisses it is a pleasure to behold. "I'm just so blessed to have her now."

I admit to them that I'm in awe of the affection and love between them. She says emphatically that she never intended to marry again. She was absolutely NOT looking, especially so soon after her beloved husband had passed away. She still felt married to him, not surprising since they were married so long and sealed in the temple. But whenever she spoke to her friend on the phone, the time would vanish away and she would find herself shocked at how long they could talk. When they were together, things between them just felt normal and easy. The panic would hit each time their time together ended, when she would feel unfaithful to her husband and wonder what was possessing her mind.

He, of course, knew from the start that they were destined to be together. He told her so, too.  He let her object. He waited patiently, and continued to call and visit whenever it was possible. And he eventually won her heart.

He has won mine, as well. I like the way he smiles at her. I like his gentleness and his flirtatious manner with her. The way he teases her makes me grin behind my hand, and his respect for her is evident in his ever-present concern for her. He showers her with love, and she blossoms in it. If only all of us were so blessed!

Semester Wrap-up!

I finished the last of my classes today. Needless to say, I am breathing a HUGE sigh of relief. Particularly after Wednesday's madness, I thought I would completely lose my mind. In my Geology class, my grade is completely dependent on how I did on the paper since it's 50% of my grade. I think I earned a high B or low A on the paper, so I will likely get either an A or a B in the class. In my Abnormal Psychology class, our whole grade depends on the tests we took throughout the semester. Since I had an A going into the final, and assuming I did as well on the Tuesday night final (8 p.m. Can you believe that? I thought I'd fall asleep!) as I think I did, I most likely earned an A in the class. Psychological Experimental Methods is my 5 unit course. I have been working so hard in that class all year! I had an A before turning in my research report (100 points) and taking my final (50 points). When I did the math, I realized that I only needed to get 113 points combined on these two items in order to get an A, and I'm confident enough to believe I earned an A. Let's hope so, anyway.

This semester was only 12 units, however. This summer I'm taking 6 units, plus challenging the upper division writing requirements. If that works out, that will count as another 3 units, making 9 total for the summer. I'm registered for 12 units in the fall, but will be adding one more class if it becomes available. In 2012, I am planning on taking 41 units total and applying for grad school if I can get all the classes I need over this next year and a half.

An interesting development has occurred over the last few weeks...I realized that although I want to do rehabilitation counseling/crisis intervention, the master's degree in this area would require me to work for others instead of being independent as I want to be. So I'm going to try to get into the MFT (marriage and family therapy) program for my master's, which will allow me to open my own practice or work with others in the area I want to specialize in, and work on other areas if I choose. If I decide to get my doctorate then ultimately it won't matter where my master's is, but I will be able to make more money with the MFT than without, which will be important in supporting my family through the doctorate program.

But first, I am so excited about finally getting my bachelor's degree. I hope the Lord blesses me to be able to keep afloat financially through this time!

Writing Again!

Somehow you'd think that with all the writing I've had to do this semester (altogether nearly 8,000 words making up 32 pages) that I would be taking a huge break from it until the summer session starts, but I'm not. I have felt moved lately to start writing a book. I'm in the diagramming and scene snippet stage right now. I wonder how much I can finish before my summer classes begin?

Finals Week

Two finals this week...I already finished up one class last week. These two finals are going to be hard, so I would appreciate any prayers from my friends! I also turn in my final research report on Thursday.  I hope to update my blog after I ace these.

Okay, maybe I should be happy if I just pass them. :-)

I love my MOM!

My mother was one of six children in her family, and one of four daughters. She was born in Connecticut, and moved to 29 Palms when she was just a few weeks old. She has lived there for the great majority of her life. She has been married to my father, Floyd, a man she met on Valentines, was engaged to by St. Patrick's day, and married to by Memorial Day (yes, all in the same year) for 47 years.

My mom always made sure I had word puzzles and activity books that would stimulate my mind. She (and my father, I'm sure) made sure we had a good set of encyclopedias to use for school in our home, a set I made excellent use of as often as I could. She encouraged me to read by finding used books that she thought I might be interested in.

My mom loves music. The more bass, the better. I remember she used to crank up the stereo and the bass, in the car and at our home. You know those cars that make the earth shake because of the bass? Well, I think if my mom could have had one of those systems in her day, she would have. She loved all kinds of music, even the music of my generation. Yup, she was cool that way. (She had a particular fondness for Elvis, both his music and his movies.) She taught herself how to play the "Funmachine" organ we had in our living room for my growing up years, and some of my best memories involve listening to her play music.

My mom loves looking after people. We moved from San Diego when I was six years old because my grandparents were in a serious accident. After the accident, she wanted to be back in 29 Palms to look after them. My mom was well known in 29 Palms, and especially known for her big heart and caring nature. We took care of several of her friends, elderly ladies and gentlemen she had befriended at the counter at the drug store, who needed a little help at home or who simply needed a friend. My mom took care of both her mom and her dad to the best of her ability up until the day they died. Even today, she and my dad spend nearly every Sunday at the continuing care that took care of my grandfather, visiting with the residents, playing games with them, and being good friends.

My mom not only cares for people, but animals as well. She loved birds (we always had several in our home) as well as cats and dogs. When we caught lizards or snakes, she would be very patient about letting us look after them. I don't think she was a big fan of snakes, though. One of my funniest memories was the day one of us spotted a snake in our house, but it moved so fast we couldn't tell what kind it was. Since rattlers were common where we lived, my mom and I quickly jumped up on our chairs and started screaming for help. I'm sure it was quite a sight to behold! It turned out it was a harmless snake, thank goodness.

My mom and dad were avid CB radio fans and participated in REACT. We had CB's in our cars and at home. We helped with search and rescue in our area. I don't think that's a hobby they still pursue, come to think of it. Still, it was fun growing up knowing all the CB and trucker lingo.

My mom nearly died a few years ago. She contracted e-coli, and by the time she and my dad decided to go to the hospital, it was nearly too late. The doctor said if they had been even a few minutes later, she might have died. The battle to get well took a long time. Her kidneys had completely failed and she had a serious infection in her blood. The initial prognosis was that she would be on dialysis for the rest of her life. Ha! Those silly doctors forget the mighty power of prayer! She regained the use of her kidneys and beat the infection.

Despite all that she gives to others, my mom has struggled with self-worth her whole life. She didn't feel she was smart. She never felt she was beautiful. She had a hard time understanding why others loved her. She was always concerned she was too fat. She still to this day says more negative things about herself than positive. Yet everyone who knows her, knows that she has a big, giving heart, a loving nature, a sure knowledge of how to help others, a beauty of spirit that radiates throughout her being, and a love for her family and God that makes everyone around her want to be like her.

When I was younger, I did not appreciate her enough. Now, having been a mom myself, I understand  and appreciate that she always did her best. I have always loved her, but as an adult who has made plenty of blunders myself, I know that any mistakes she made were always with her heart in the right place, and that is what matters to God. She is a tremendous influence for good in my life. I'm grateful to her and for her, and I love her with all of my heart.

Ward Campout

My boys and I were blessed to participate in the ward camp out on Friday evening. It was held at Squaw Leap (oh, wait, they call it something else now...I can't remember what it is, though.) The boys set up our tent for us, and we had a great time! The dinner Friday night was pulled pork, beans, carrots, and other yummy stuff. We were running a bit late because another ward member needed a ride at the last minute, so we were VERY happy to find that there was still food for us to eat.

After dinner, Bishop gave a great talk about the priesthood, with three wonderful stories about people who learned to honor the promises they made to the Lord and received tremendous blessings in return. This was held around a campfire with our ward family there among the tee pees, with the great expanse of beautiful stars and planets above us and the hills around us. It was truly beautiful.

When the boys and I got back to our tent, we read our scriptures by lamp light, said our prayers, and crawled into our tent to sing hymns and for our "scary story exchange."  We sang "Called to Serve" and "I Love to see the Temple." Then Johnny started his scary story, and before he finished, Joe fell asleep. I listened to the families around us, singing, playing cards, talking, and wondered if this was what it would have been like to be pioneers.

As it turned out, I had a lot of time to think about a lot of things that night. Earlier in the evening I had been "attacked" by allergies. I had forgotten how allergic I am to oak trees, wildflower pollen, and grasses. Even though I took an allergy pill, I could not get the symptoms under control, and some irritant had gotten into one of my eyes, such that it kept leaking and making mucous all night. I kept waking up with one eye sealed shut, feeling unable to breathe from asthma, and with the urgent need to blow my nose. I barely slept, and instead kept thinking about people that I loved, about my family, and about my future. When the sun finally came up, I went to my van to look in the mirror and discovered that the left side of my face was swollen so much that my left eye was almost completely closed. (My right eye looked terrible, too, but that was lack of sleep.)

I applied an ice pack to it for several hours, and kept rinsing my eye out, and by about ten, it was much improved. Breakfast was pancakes, sausage and bacon...most delicious! Hot chocolate and wassail made the morning complete.

After breakfast, the boys left to go find the caves, and I went with Katie and Keith to hike to the gorge and bridge area over the San Joaquin river. We saw beautiful wildflowers, lots of birds and lots of friends as we encountered others on the trail. The gorge was breathtaking...the breeze blowing up canyon was well worth the hike. The river was flowing beautifully. The hike was an easy one and we all had fun.

After the hike we returned to Fresno. I'm always grateful for these trips into nature. They remind me how much our Father in Heaven must love us, and keep my heart grateful for all the beauty he has surrounded us with. The earth testifies of Christ! I'm also grateful for our ward family. We always feel so loved and supported when we are with them. We are truly blessed!

Favorites

I was so honored to hear the Presiding Bishop of our church speak in person today. Bishop H. David Burton was a fabulous speaker, and he inspired me to keep seeking for the "Living Water" in its fullness. He's always one of my favorite general conference speakers. I couldn't believe I was seeing him in person.

I also found out one of my favorite families in the stake will be moving soon. President Ryan and his wife are moving out of the area. I'm devastated. President Ryan was such a fabulous speaker, who bore with good humor and grace a lot of riding about his short stature, but who truly has such a mighty and humble spirit. His talks at stake conference always touched my heart. His wife is another humble person, who just keeps serving and giving and no one would ever know. I consider them both friends as well as amazing role models. Together, they are a mighty force for good in our stake, and will surely be missed.

All of the talks today during our "Special Stake Conference" were fabulous. I just love President Cleveland and President Thomas, and hearing the Fresno Mission President and his wife speak is always such a treat. They will be leaving soon, too.

It will be interesting to re-read my notes in a few weeks and see what new insights I can gain. Hope each of you had a truly blessed Sunday.