Mother Figure

It's curious that when I decided to return to college, I gave extensive thought to how I would feel being among the oldest in the classes I would be taking, but little thought to how others would view me there or what benefits I might have as a result of being an "adult" student.

I find the students are hesitant to express their opinions or even to speak the correct answers out when asked. I'm trying to remember if I felt that way when I was their age, but to be honest, I've never had the same trepidation in classroom settings that I do in other public situations. I jump in and offer my opinion, and even when I hold back on answering questions, I find that if I don't speak, sometimes no one will, and the poor professor is left standing there wondering where all the students are. In group discussions, the members of my group will invariably select me as their leader/speaker because they say I'm more articulate. Sometimes it seems that if I don't start the conversation in these smaller groups, nothing happens.

So I find myself playing a "mother figure" sometimes...encouraging the students to speak up, teaching them how to connect ideas, etc. I listen to them complain about the instructor's requirements, and find myself wanting to tell them to grow up...the real world doesn't accommodate us. We need to make our own way and accommodate where necessary, and in college, you accommodate the professor in order to accomplish your educational goals. Quitcher whining and get to work!

Overall, I find that although making time for homework, labwork, and the other demands of college is challenging as the working single mother of four, I have certain other advantages. I am comfortable with my beliefs and feelings. I am comfortable being the "odd one" out. I don't mind taking on difficult tasks because I have learned that hard things are possible and even desirable. I know that professors are just people, and though they have the power to affect my grade, any other power they have is purely at my discretion, so I'm not afraid of standing up to them.

Frequently this semester I have found that the students will confide things in me or ask my opinion on things. Sometimes I wish I could tell them that all this angst they are having now will change over time as they figure out their place in the world. The world is the classroom that matters...what happens at college is a minuscule slice of the growth that will occur as they experience all that life brings us.